Siblings Refuse to Pool Their College Fund With Dad's Love Child, Tension Crackles as He Guilt-Trips the Whole Family

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    AITA for not splitting my college fund with my dad's affair child? My father dropped a big bomb on our family last year when he revealed that he had a secret son from his affair years ago. After
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    my mom found out and gave him the ultimatum, he cut things off with the mistress and she moved away until last year when she introduced him to their son Hank. I really don't give a I about his latent father instinct since he
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    didn't give his other family any consideration when he broke the news. Thank god my mom divorced him and now neither my brother Connor (M 18), sister Sophia (F 15), or I want anything to do with him anymore.
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    Here's the thing though: We have a shared college fund that my mom's parents set up for us when we were little. My parents contribute almost half of the money and my maternal
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    grandparents contribute the other half. The account remains under my mom after the divorce. As far as I know, he stopped contributing to that account after the divorce.
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    Last month, I found out that my dad's been harassing my mom because he wanted to add Hank as a beneficiary to the college fund for my siblings. He's saying that Hank is his son and therefore entitled to the college fund that he set up for me, Connor, and Sophia.
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    My mom told him off and now he has been going around harassing her online and to their mutual acquaintances and friends, claiming that she is "heartless and cruel for taking her anger out on an innocent child." And then,
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    he also had the genius idea to reach out to me to put pressure on my mom. He said I should consider opening up my heart to Hank who grew up without a father and wasn't set up in life like my siblings and me. I left him
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    on read since honestly, the things I wanted to say to that callous evil monster may be too much. Yesterday he changed tactics and now said he wanted to withdraw all his part of the money from the account, divided them
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    to make sure Hank has his share and deposited the rest back into the account. (With the caveat that since Connor and I didn't need to use the college fund for tuition since we both had fullride scholarships, the money would
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    be divided into 2 parts- for Hank and Sophia, instead of into 4 parts for his 4 children). And now him, some of my dad's side of the family, and even the mistress are pressuring my mom to agree to that. And I'm praying that she won't.
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    It physically makes me angry that we're being asked to split our money with my dad's affair child. Even if yes, I don't need to use the money to pay for school, I will need it in the future. Same with Connor! And I know for a fact he
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    would never use the same reasoning to exclude Connor and I from the fund just to have the money solely for Sophia in the same situation. It's all for Hank. I understand that Hank is innocent and not responsible for
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    his parents' actions but I don't think of him as my brother. , I don't even think of my father as my father anymore to be honest. As far as I'm concerned, my family consists of me, my siblings, and my mom. That's it. So, AITA? edit: I'm 23, Hank is 14
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    Special Respond7372 NTA. He can deal with his decisions. The divorce is finalized. He can't go back and change the terms now. Additionally, it sounds like he didn't put in most of the money. It sounds like at most he put in 25%. Either way, he no longer has any claim to it. He can take out loans for Hank.
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    trowawayatwork I guarantee that Hank will not see a penny of that money if your dad gets a hold of it
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    Kami Sang NTA - that was an investment made by your parents during their marriage to benefit their 3 kids. The court left it with your Mom. Your Dad has no entitlement to those funds. They are solely for the benefit of you, Connor and Sophia.
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    tamij1313 And MOM'S parents put in the most with dad contributing the least. Also, why would dad need to "take out all of the money that he put in, divide it, and put it all back"? How does THAT make any sense Dad is looking for a payday as affair partner is probably trying to collect back child support!
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    regus0307 Exactly. I don't agree it should happen at all, but does Dad not know maths? "I put in $10,000, and I have four children, so let me see, divided by 4 is $2,500 each, so I'll just take out $2,500 for Hank."
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    accidentallywitchy. NTA at all. Where does your father get the idea that HE set up this fund when it was your grandparents on your mom's side? Do his family members know the whole story?
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    dispandapressed OP Yeah, that man's delusion is out of this world. His audacity is truly unmatched. My paternal grandparents know and support us. I know my grandma has been trying to get him to back off but he unfortunately doesn't listen
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    to her. It's mainly my dad's brothers who are joining him to harass my mom. I don't know if they know the full story or not. Since grandma and grandpa know, I feel like they do too?
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    thewoodbeyond Your mom possibly needs to have an attorney shut him down. But just for laughs lets math this for a second. Let's assume your grandparents contributed 100,000 and your parents 100,000. Your mom and grandparent's portions are 150,000 your Dad's is 50,000. Now cut your
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    Dad's portion into 4 and 1 1 of those portions is Hank's imaginary share.. so $12,500 in my hypothetical scenario or 6.25% of the total amount. That is what your father doesn't get, he thinks for some strange reason that his
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    25% contribution somehow equals the whole amount, and somehow, even your grandparents contribution, should be divided up towards 2 kids, which is so stupid I don't know where to start. NTA tell him to pound sand.

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