Mom cries when her alternative 24-year-old daughter elopes instead of planning a big traditional wedding, dad gives her a reality check: 'Why are you surprised? Lynn didn’t want a wedding in the first place!''

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 22, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

Parents should know their kids better than anyone. I wouldn't expect a mother or a father to be able to predict their kid's every move, especially in adulthood, but I do expect that when their kid tells their parents who they are, they listen. The mom in this story didn't do that with her 24-year-old daughter, who said she didn't want a proper wedding after getting engaged to her fiancee. Her daughter, Lynn, is an alternative in many senses of the word; she graduated college for the first time at 16, has tattoos and piercings, and fully marches to the beat of her own drum. She reluctantly agreed to a wedding after her mom pressured her into it, but after one dispute over the flowers, she quickly went home and eloped. While her dad understands why she did that, her mom can't get over her devastation over the elopement. 

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  • 01
    COSTUME COM FO bel
    via Pau Patterson Photography

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITAH for telling my wife to stop crying about missing out on our daughter's wedding?
    via u/No-Cauliflower-6934
  • 03
    As the title says. My wife (530) and I (55m) have three children. Brett (27m) Amy (25f) and Lynn (24f). Now let me say, I love all my children in their own way. But no child has ever given me a headache like Lynn. She's our wild child. Got a college degree at 16, began working and saving up, moved to Louisiana once she turned 18, got more college degrees and lives a pretty nice life. I'm proud of her, of course but she has always been our wildly independent, argumentative, intelligent little gir
    via u/No-Cauliflower-6934
  • 04
    Lynn met her (now) husband, Brad (27m) when she first moved to Louisiana. Brad is like Lynn, tattoos and piercings up the wazoo. Non traditional. He's a good kid, I like him. He protected Lynn and has been by her side for a lot of things, I actually love that kid for protecting my baby girl. Lynn will be the first child of ours to be married so when we heard the news about their engagement, my wife was super excited. She started talking about wedding planning and all that girl stuff.
    via u/No-Cauliflower-6934
  • 05
    Lynn and Brad were both upfront about not wanting a wedding and just wanting a small party with mainly family and some friends as a celebratory thing. My wife was very upset and pushed at Lynn till she reluctantly agreed to plan a wedding. Not even a week into wedding planning, Lynn and my wife had a spat about floral arrangements which led to Lynn flying back home to Louisiana. Lynn announced they had eloped and would be planning a small intimate get together in New Orleans around Halloween tim
    via u/No-Cauliflower-6934
  • 06
    My wife cries every time this situation is brought up, saying she missed out on her little girls special day. After a few weeks of this nonsense, I finally snapped and said "why are you surprised? Lynn didn't want a wedding in the first place! She's our least traditional child! I'm just glad we at least got the engagement announcement. Stop crying about it and wait till Brett or Amy get married cause they are the ones that will actually enjoy that wedding "My wife called me a few names and has b
    via u/No-Cauliflower-6934
  • 07
    I really don't mean to be an a hole but Lynn is the last child I'd expect to want a big grand wedding. I mean for f_sakes she's a nurse that does hair on the side who is also a practicing witch. That child makes no sense! I'd more expect Brett to want the big wedding when he and his boyfriend eventually get engaged. It also just felt wrong she tried forcing it on Lynn. Lay the brutal honesty on me. Do I roll over and apologize or continue to stick up for Lynn over this mess?
    via u/No-Cauliflower-6934
  • 08
    RevolutionaryCow7961 NTA. She didn't want the wedding. And when she agreed to a small wedding your wife tried to bulldoze her into one. Tell if she keeps up this bull Lynn will end up no contact because your wife forgot how to be an adult. Remind her the marriage isn't about her.
    via u/RevolutionaryCow7961
  • 09
    meiuimei_ Lynn was literally kind and considerate enough, when she didn't have to be at all in the first place, to even entertain the idea of a wedding and start to look at ideas. OP's wife completely disrespected Lynns' kindness and hijacked it so basically... Wife didn't even want it to be Lynns' wedding, wife wanted it to be HER wedding. Ugh. Gross.
    via u/meiuimei_
  • 10
    So glad Lynn and Brad both respect themselves enough to have put their foot down and done what THEY WANTED. Hope they both have a fantastic celebration in New Orleans and happy life together! They're clearly already a headstrong, united front couple. (: P.s. OP, please let Lynn know you're proud of her and respect her choices, if you haven't already!
    via u/meiuimei_
  • 11
    xEnchanting Eyes Absolutely agree. Lynn clearly expressed her desire for a small celebration, and it's not fair for your wife to push her into something she didn't want. If this continues, it could really damage their relationship. Your wife needs to remember that the marriage is about Lynn and her partner OP. NTA
    via u/xEnchantingEyes
  • 12
    Kaablooie42 Does your wife realize she was probably the reason your daughter eloped? If she had just let Lynn do whatever kind of wedding she wanted I'm sure out of the small guest list you both would have been invited. NTA
    via u/Kaablooie42
  • 13
    No-Cauliflower-6934 OP That's what I'm saying. Once my wife had pushed Lynn into it, Lynn actually became excited and talked about being walked down the aisle and celebrating with everybody. My wife and Lynn have always had a slight disconnect due to them being so different so I wonder if this was a way for my wife to try to "wrangle" in Lynn.
    via u/No-Cauliflower-6934
  • 14
    digitydigitydoo The fact that Lynn cancelled not only your wife's wedding plans but also her original wedding plans really speaks to just how far your wife was pushing things. I get the feeling that the flowers were barely the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the ways your wife massively overstepped. Totally NTA. And you may need to get your wife into counseling to curtail her need to control her children's lives.
    via u/digitydigitydoo
  • 15
    TarzanKitty NTA Your wife missed her daughter's wedding because she was acting like she was planning her own wedding. Whatever type of flowers your wife wanted is irrelevant because she is neither the bride or groom.
    via u/TarzanKitty
  • 16
    No-Cauliflower-6934 OP That's what I'm saying. My wife wanted Lynn to have this overly girly wedding that Lynn just didn't want. Lynn was leaning more towards a gothy theme for the wedding and my wife was wanting a more traditional Christian wedding which was weird from the beginning because Lynn has always been open about her style and religious standpoint. I just want my wife to accept Lynn.
    via u/No-Cauliflower-6934
  • 17
    Sleepwalker0304 NTA. Reading this I have to ask, how much time did your wife spend trying to correct Lynn into her ideas of proper girl things while she was growing up? Getting married doesn't require a wedding. Good for you for supporting your daughter and her husband and I hope you keep doing it because I feel like this is only the beginning if they decide to have children.
    via u/Sleepwalker0304
  • 18
    No-Cauliflower-6934 OP Honestly my wife struggled a lot with Lynn. She says her teenage years were the toughest but in my opinion, not at all. Lynn has always been strangely mature. She never cared that much about partying or dating, she was always planning her future and wanting to be successful and be her true self.
    via u/No-Cauliflower-6934
  • 19
    Jodenaje Your wife probably thought the teenage years were the toughest because Lynn wasn't conforming to the kind of teenager your wife wanted her to be.
    via u/Jodenaje
  • 20
    Bripk95 Lol NTA. I mean, she's allowed to feel sad but you're right, she should've known. Honestly, Lynn reminds me a lot of myself and I was a little surprised she wasn't the gay one.
    via u/Bripk95
  • 21
    No-Cauliflower-6934 OP Lynn was the original gay one, came out as pansexual but then Brett took the spotlight by coming out as full gay love all my kids to pieces!
    via u/No-Cauliflower-6934

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family drama marriage wedding drama alternative reddit story eloping tattoos elope wedding dad family reddit thread daughter Reddit mom children
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