19-year-old college student receives $3,000 a month allowance from dad, protests when he says he'll cut her off for dropping out and traveling to Europe: 'She can make her choices, but I shouldn't have to fund them'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Oct 25, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

When I was in college, rich students were often looked upon with a mixture of jealousy and awe. Unlike the rest of us who were counting the pennies to afford pre-drinks and pesto pasta, they were buying designer goods and going on lavish, last-minute vacations without so much as breaking a sweat. It was easy to wonder if the parents that were funding them approved of all of this, or there was more going on underneath the surface.

As it turns out, even (some of) the upper classes have their limits when it comes to indulging the whim of their college-aged kids. This was the moral of one AITA, in which one dad revealed his frustration with his 19-year-old daughter. He had been giving her a $3k a month allowance while she was in college, which she appeared to spend mostly on partying and trips. When she proposed she wanted to drop out and travel around Europe, it was the last straw and he told her that he might cut her off. She wasn't happy, but the internet agreed it was probably the right thing to do.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10420116480
    via Anastasia Nelen

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for threatening to cut off daughter's monthly allowance?
    via Icy-Feed-9226
  • 03
    I (51M) have a daughter (19F) who's been living away for college. Since she was a teenager, I've always tried to give her the best - paying for everything, giving her a $3K allowance each month, and even buying her a new car when she moved for school. I believe I've set her up for success.
    via Icy-Feed-9226
  • 04
    Recently, though, we've been butting heads. She's been going out partying a lot, skipping classes, and spending her money on expensive trips with her friends. When I brought up my concerns, she completely brushed me off, telling me it's her life, and she's "an adult" now.
    via Icy-Feed-9226
  • 05
    Last weekend, I found out from her mom (we're divorced) that she's planning to drop out of college for a year to "find herself" and travel around Europe with her friends. I called her immediately and told her if she drops out, I'm cutting off her allowance and taking the car back. She lost it, saying I'm trying to control her life and that I can't take away the things I've already given her. She also claims I'm punishing her for wanting to live her life. - I feel like I'm being reasonable here —
    via Icy-Feed-9226
  • 06
    Vegetable Business897 Dude. 3k isn't an allowance, it's a paycheck.
    via VegetableBusiness897
  • 07
    Suzuki_Foster That's only several thousand dollars less than my gross annual salary. She doesn't realize how good she's got it, and she won't realize it until she's left with nothing.
    via Suzuki_Foster
  • 08
    Current-Anybody9331 It's like a $45k annual salary. OP already paid taxes on it, she's getting it free and clear. I was thrilled my mom took me grocery shopping when I was 19. $3k/mo. would have been bonkers
    via Current-Anybody9331
  • 09
    CosmicFire8872 I work a full-time job and don't make that much! And it's a professional career.
    via CosmicFire8872
  • 10
    corgi-king Maybe ask OP if he wants a new son/daughter, a spot might be open soon. I will be next in line.
    via corgi-king
  • 11
    Upstate-girl It's more than I earn un a month. Your daughter is an entitled brat. No 19 year old need $3k a month unless they are paying for all their own expenses, such as rent, food, clothing, medical expenses, entertainment, car related expenses, utilities, etc. And if she is an adult, it's on her to provide all those things for herself. Your daughter needs a reality check. She is using you as her bank account. Don't be surprised when she starts using boat loads of older men to finance her li
    via Upstate-girl
  • 12
    This Acanthisitta832 My "Allowance" in college was $10/week, I did not have a car, and I paid for college with grants, scholarships, and loans. I also worked a "Work study" job on campus. I would have been ecstatic for $50-$100/month!
    via This_Acanthisitta832
  • 13
    koshgeo My "allowance" was being allowed to live at home and have food while going to school. It was a good deal, and I was genuinely grateful.
    via koshgeo
  • 14
    BrinaGu3 This was my thought. My daughter attends uni in another country. It is easier to give her money in bulk than to send weekly or monthly. We give her $10k per semester, but that covers rent, food and transportation. It sounds like this girl gets everything paid for at the $3k is fun money - and she's having fun. Not sure what he thought would happen. NTA.
    via BrinaGu3
  • 15
    MeLoveCoffee99 You've raised your daughter to be incredibly entitled, and she apparently has no concept of money either. You may want to book a therapy session, while canceling that allowance. She needs to step into reality, before she does real damage to her adult life.
    via MeLoveCoffee99
  • 16
    Stressed Turnip "I believe I've been setting her up for success" Aaaaaannnnd where's the responsibility she's supposedly learning when her dad is paying her $18.75/hr for ?
    via StressedTurnip
  • 17
    karjeda How is giving her 3000 a month setting her up for success. Look what her immaturity did. And she says she's an adult now let her live her life. Do it. Without 3000 from daddy. You gave her a great start at successfully being an entitled brat.
    via karjeda
  • 18
    Electrical_Ad4362 As soon as started to read this I knew the parent had raised an entitled child and is now paying the consequences.
    via Electrical_Ad4362
  • 19
    mdsnbelle Holy My parents gave me $200 and my grandmother gave me $50 and I was expected to be grateful for that. My rent and tuition was paid but I lived off that $250 and whatever I could get from campus jobs and stipends from the program board. $3K holy , are you serious???? Can you adopt me???
    via mdsnbelle
  • 20
    LeonaLulu NTA. She's used to getting what she wants and she's upset that her plans for you to fund her travel have been foiled. $3k a month is what some people bring home. If you still want to support her, offer her something like $100 a week for food and tell her good luck finding her way. Plenty of young adults support themselves and save to pay for their own travel.
    via LeonaLuLu
  • 21
    FitzDesign A lot of people will be your child for 3k a month and will be diligent and respectful... Time she learns a hard lesson about life. Cut her off, repossess the car. Instead of giving her the money, you pay for the tuition and basic expenses and if she wants to go have fun, she can get a job.
    via FitzDesign
  • 22
    JuiceEdawg ESH. If the car was a gift, you can't take it back. However, $3,000 a month is very very excessive for an allowance. While you think you are setting her up for success, you are really setting her up for failure. She is already a spoiled entitled brat. As for cutting the allowance if she drops out, that's fine as it's your money. But you should cut it back and make her get a job so she will have a sense of money.
    via JuiceEdawg
  • 23
    taylor_newton I agree NTA. But I also think there's a middle ground. Could you give her a reduced allowance and let her pay for her own trips and stuff? That way she still gets some support while she figures things out, but she's not relying on you for everything. Maybe that'll teach her some responsibility????
    via taylor_newton
  • 24
    onemoreopinionfkr at 19 and Mom I tried to "man up" and tell my parents the same acted like I was right and I had gotten my way. About a week later she asked to go out to lunch with me, which wasn't abnormal. I ordered two meals as usual, one for lunch, one to take home. When the bill came my Mom stopped the server and asked for separate checks. My heart sank. I went to put it on "my credit card" and it didn't go through, Dad shut it off while we were eating. I paid with my Debit card and from t
    via onemoreopinionfkr
  • 25
    CUT HER OFF 100% and then pay her for perfect attendance per class, A's, Good Decisions, and the utmost respect towards you if you want to help her at all.
    via onemoreopinionfkr

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europe aita relationships parenting dad rich people traveling reddit thread daughter Reddit money college college student
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