Man Refuses to Include His Girlfriend in Halloween Couple's Costume, Choosing His Female Best Friend Instead, Revealing Red Flags and Creating Trust Issues

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    • r/AITAH 21 days ago Efficient-Access 1350 AITAH for telling my boyfriend he shouldn't take his girl best friend for couple's costume for Halloween?
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    I don't know, I think I may be wrong. My boyfriend (26m) and I (23f) have been together for 8 months. He is very kind to me and has never raised or voice or lost his temper with me. I was introduced to his friends very early in our relationship, and I get along with them just fine. He and his friends
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    have been friends from nursery days and they are all very nice to me. He has a friend, Vivian (fake name), who along with his two other friends plan for Halloween every year months in advance. I have never doubted any foul play about them, and I have never wanted to be the 'jealous' new girlfriend who ruins friendships.
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    The problem is, that my boyfriend works in a firm where they apparently throw Halloween parties. He goes with one of his friends every year, and this year was Vivian's turn to go with him because last year he went with his friend Tom. Plus, he and Viv have a 'thing' about scary costumes and horror and they share the
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    same love for Halloween. The thing is, I love Halloween too. My boyfriend knows that, and we share that common interest too. Granted, I can't just claim a common interest. But he didn't even ask me once if I wanted to go with him, since he and Viv started planning two months ago.
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    We were dating then, and he never mentioned it to me. It's just that, I thought that he could have at least asked me.
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    He mentioned to me two days ago that he and Viv had their couples Halloween costumes ready and if I wanted to see them. I did not feel as positive about it as I should have, and I guess it showed on my face because he asked what was wrong and I asked him why he never even asked me to go with
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    him once. He didn't get mad but said that he won't change his rituals with his friends for his relationship. He told me I knew about it early on, as he told me before. I felt hurt, and I told him that's a hurtful thing to say, and he didn't respond. He has been giving me the silent treatment.
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    I have never expected him to dump plans with his friends for me, ever. I don't mind when he does escape rooms with Viv or always has hiking plans with Tom and the others. The only reason I thought he could have asked me is because I love Halloween too, and thought it was a common interest. But now I feel I have
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    stepped over the line and I feel really awful. AITAH?
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    21d ago Edited 21d ago NTA. Hold up, did he really tell you word-for-word that his "couple's costume" was ready? And asked if you wanted to see them? Is he having a laugh?
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    he won't change his rituals with his friends for his relationship ... not even having a whole "couple's costume" with someone else? That's crazy. Part of being in a relationship is fitting your
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    partner in with your friends, the things you normally do. I just think if he was really that into you, and Viv was really such a good friend, you'd be the plus one this time and she'd understand, because you are his girlfriend. Of course you're right to feel left out. If he
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    can't see this from your perspective, I don't think he's cut out to be your boyfriend.
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    BriefHorror ⚫21d ago • If he honestly can't see whats wrong here dump him. He's "never raised his voice or yelled at me" so the bare minimum? You're keeping around a man who is blatantly disrespectful for the bare minimum?
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    Sure-Ingenuity... •21d ago. Why are you feeling bad? Your supposed BF is acting like he is single rather than part of a couple. Not shouting or hitting you does not make him a good BF. Listening to your thoughts and feelings would make him a good BF but he does
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    none of those things. From what you have posted, I do not think he is into you very much. Are you sure you are his GF because he does not treat you as one? NTA
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    Putrid-Swan-7... • 21d ago NTA. Silent treatment when HE made you feel upset? Dump him and move on. He doesn't care how you feel and probably never will
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    ImmediateShal... • 20d ago NTA... he'll never put you first he told you that he'll always put his friendship first so you might as well drop him before he disappoints you more. You deserve better
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    cthulularoo 21d ago • So, if this is a tradition that he has with his friends and it was established before you and he got together, it makes sense why he's doing. a couples costume with Viv. but!
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    He didn't get mad but said that he won't change his rituals with his friends for his relationship. This is a red flag! Of course he should change his rituals with his friends because of
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    his relationship. He could have just told you he'd do a couples costume with you next year, adding you to the rotation, as it were. But just saying you're not as important as his friend relationship puts you at a lower priority. I do not want to be my br/gf's second priority.

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