SAHM Confronts Husband After He Makes a Joke About Her Part-Time Job to His Friends, Claiming Her Extra Income Is Useless: ‘[It] felt like a slap in the face’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Oct 29, 2024 10:00 PM EDT

Stay-at-home moms don't get enough credit for all the work they do—they're like superheroes. Having a part-time job on top of taking care of the children 24/7 might be stressful, but it's what they decide to do for the sake of their children and their family dynamic. If a woman's husband has demanding hours and she loves spending time with her kids, it seems like a no-brainer. However, some women want to contribute to their families in more ways than one.

The woman in this story stays at home with her and her husband's children but recently took on a part-time position so she can contribute financially. She wanted some "cushion" money to help with expenses and acquired the role on her own without being asked to get it. Unfortunately, she overheard her husband and his friends poking fun at the new $700/month contribution she is making while working and taking care of the kids. After hearing this, the woman confronted her husband about what he deemed a "joke" and demanded that he see her perspective. Naturally, her husband flips the script on her and says that her contribution doesn't make a difference. Scroll below to read the full story.

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    be respected, especially given how much I handle at home. But now I'm starting to wonder if I'm in the wrong for feeling so hurt and expecting him to see my work as significant.
    via Unsplash (Vystralith)
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    AIO for confronting my husband after he told our friends I "barely make enough money to help" and called my contribution "useless"?
    via Sushmitababe
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    I recently started a part- time job, bringing in about $700 a month. While it's not a huge amount, I felt proud to contribute financially, especially since I'm also taking care of our two kids full-time,
    via Sushmitababe
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    handling nearly all the housework, and keeping things running smoothly at home. My husband has a high-paying job, which we're lucky for, but I still thought my extra income would be appreciated,
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    even if it's just for small expenses or giving us a cushion for unexpected costs. The other night, we were out with his friends, and my husband made a joke
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    about my income, saying, "Oh, she only brings in $700 a month it's pretty much useless with two kids to support." Then he laughed and added, "It's like pocket change," and his friends joined in,
    via Sushmitababe
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    laughing along with him. I was completely mortified. and couldn't believe he'd downplay my efforts like that, especially since he knows how much I do to keep our family organized and the kids cared for while he's working.
    via Sushmitababe
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    When we got home, I told him his comments really hurt me and made me feel small in front of his friends. He brushed it off as "just a joke" and said I was overreacting. Then he went further, suggesting that if I wanted to "be
    via Sushmitababe
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    taken seriously," I should get a "real" job that would actually contribute to our finances. Hearing him say that felt like a slap in the face. I work part-time precisely because we agreed that it was
    via Sushmitababe
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    important for me to be there for the kids, especially given his demanding hours. He turned it around on me, saying he's the one handling "all the real financial stress," while I
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    "just get to stay home with the kids most of the time." I tried to explain that both my part-time job and childcare responsibilities were valuable, but he kept insisting that $700 "doesn't actually help us"
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    and that I was being irrational for getting hurt over his joke. Now I'm second-guessing myself. I thought any financial contribution, not matter how small, would
    via Sushmitababe
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    be respected, especially given how much I handle at home. But now I'm starting to wonder if I'm in the wrong for feeling so hurt and expecting him to see my work as significant.
    via Sushmitababe
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    AIO for asking him to respect my contribution, or is he right that my part- time job is "useless"?
    via Sushmitababe
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    BubblyBabez · 2h ago . You're absolutely not overreacting. Your contribution, both financially and in keeping the household running, is incredibly valuable. The fact that your husband dismissed it as "useless" in front of others is disrespectful, especially
    via BubblyBabez
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    since you agreed that you'd focus on childcare and housework to support his career. Managing the home, caring for your kids, and earning any amount of extra income is no small feat, and it deserves recognition, not belittlement. You have every right to expect your efforts to be respected his comments were hurtful, not "just a joke."
    via BubblyBabez
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    . Nily_che 2h ago Save up for a few months, take a nice vacation, and he can take time off work to take care of the kids and home. After that, you can discuss the matter again. Nothing you say will be as effective as the action you take when arguing with this mindset.
    via Nily_che
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    Odd_Welcome79... . 2h ago Tell him he needs to arrange full childcare for whatever hours you will need starting in 2 weeks. Also make it clear you will get a full time job but now all other housework, childcare, and everything else will be split 50/50 and ge better do his 50%.
    via Odd_Welcome7940
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    See what he says then. He will either prove you wrong and do it all or he will fail miserably and get hurt. It's probably the latter but give it a shot.
    via Odd_Welcome7940
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    hajuwuteqjlkoq • 2h ago You deserve to feel valued for all the hard work you do, both at home and in your job, so definitely talk to him about how his comments made you feel.
    via hajuwuteqjlkoq
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    Mistyam • 2h ago . Who wouldn't appreciate another $700 a month? Maybe people who are millionaires and billionaires, but the vast majority of society would be thrilled to have another $700 a month to help manage their budget.
    via Mistyam
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    Correct Ad8984 • 2h ago Your husband is an AH. Pack your bags, go stay with a friend for the weekend & let him figure it out with the house & the kids since it's not "meaningful contribution".
    via Correct_Ad8984
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    alalaloo 2h ago • • You should actually start charging him for childcare and he'll change his tune real fast. Go back to work and have him figure out the childcare himself. He doesn't value and let him figure out just how much value you bring by taking care of the kids "sitting at home all day."
    via alalaloo

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toxic-boyfriend stay at home mom relationship advice sahm marriage jobs drama mother part-time job relationship-drama motherhood reddit story marriage-drama relationships advice relationship feud Reddit toxic relationship
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