Entitled Fiancé Expects Woman To Do ‘90%’ of the Housework Because She Works Remotely, Lets Dishes and Laundry Pile up While She's Sick: ‘You're home all day’

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    T • • 20 His response was, "No, if you got up when I do and managed your time better, you could get these things done. You work from home, and there's no reason you can't get them done because you're home all day."
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    AIO: My fiancé expects me to do 90% of the housework since I work from home.
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    I need some outside perspective on this situation, so here's a bit of context: My fiancé and I both work full-time, but I work from home while he commutes 30-45 minutes each way.
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    He usually wakes up around 5:45 a.m., makes himself breakfast, showers, and heads out the door by 7:10. I wake up a bit later, around 6:00 a.m., and use that time to have coffee and read the
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    news before getting our son up at 6:30. After that, I make his breakfast, pack his lunch, and help him get ready for school. My fiancé leaves for work at the same time I leave to take our son to the bus
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    stop, and I'm back home around 7:30. Since I don't start work until 8:30, I use this hour to walk our dog, shower, and prepare for my day. At the end of the school day, I use my lunch break
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    to pick up our son from the bus stop, help him settle in, and make sure he starts on any homework. Sometimes he has after-school clubs, and I drive to pick him up. I handle all the daily
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    household chores: I do all the dishes (we don't have a dishwasher), all the laundry, and all the major cleaning, including deep- cleaning the kitchen and bathroom.
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    Recently, I was very sick with pneumonia and couldn't do anything for about a week. When I recovered, I felt overwhelmed by all the dishes and laundry that had piled up. My fiancé
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    took care of me and our son during that time, but he didn't manage the usual chores I handle. This led to a conversation where I asked if he could start helping out around the house in general. I
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    explained that I'm the only one who does the daily cleaning and laundry, and that we'd have more time on weekends to relax if he helped a bit during the week.
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    His response was, "No, if you got up when I do and managed your time better, you could get these things done. You work from home, and there's no reason you can't get them done
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    because you're home all day." He pointed out that I don't help with bigger projects, so he doesn't feel he should help with smaller ones. I told him that mowing the lawn every other week is very
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    different from daily chores, but he wouldn't budge. I've been feeling frustrated about this conversation for weeks. When I mentioned it to a
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    friend, she shrugged and said it seemed fair, but something doesn't sit right with me. Am I wrong to think that just because I work from home, it doesn't mean I should be responsible for almost all of the household chores?
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    R... 1d ago Edited 1d ago • You're waking up 15 minutes later than him. Perhaps suggest he wake up 15 minutes earlier to contribute as well if that minuscule period of time is so valuable in his opinion.
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    Stop doing things for him if he doesn't appreciate them. And start waking up at 5:45 to make your child's breakfast and pack lunch. That way he can see you do it. In his head you're just leisurely enjoying your morning and your kid magically feeds himself and drives himself to school.
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    Make food for yourself and your child, wash only your dishes, wash only your laundry. And when he's overwhelmed, suggest he start waking up 15 minutes earlier. What a pr k.
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    ExcellentDress... . 1d ago • I think the delivery could have also contributed to the feeling of "it's not sitting well with me" part. Also the fact that you were sick and he decided to wait until you got better to do the daily household chores is a little messed up.
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    goddessariadne... • 1d ago NOR - you both live there, the household chores should be evenly split. His attitude is the real problem.
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    Bandie909 1d ago . • Stop doing his laundry. Stop cooking for him and stop washing the dishes he uses. Cook for yourself and your child, designate one bathroom for you and your child to use and your fiance gets another, which he is responsible for cleaning. He is being a totally selfish person and needs to grow up.
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    beanmachin... OP.1d ago · I have tried this approach before. My fiancé and I have very different levels of what is acceptable cleanliness wise and his view has always been I'll wash dishes when we run out of silverware to eat with, I'll do laundry when we run out of clean clothes, ect. I would not describe
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    myself as type A at all, but I will do a load of laundry as soon as we have a full load, and will wash dishes before the sink starts to pile up. When I let things go a little expecting him to pick up the slack...it didn't happen right away and for my own mental health couldn't stand to live in a dirty house and let things go.
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    UnclePuffy · 1d ago • My brother who I live with wonders why I don't get any housework done during the day. Um, maybe because I'M WORKING!

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