Mom convinced son is unemployed because he works remotely while taking care of her, she forces him to send out resumes, resulting in him taking a job abroad: ‘I'm excited to get out of this family’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 4, 2024 1:00 PM EST

We all know how frustrating it can be when parents think they own you just because they raised you, and dealing with meddling parents is something no kid ever wants to deal with. When one does deal with a meddling parent, the most important thing to do is to put down clear boundaries, while knowing when to step away when things get too much. 

Here are the top 3 favorite things parents love to meddle in: Your relationships, your job, and your financial state. Avoid discussing all 3 topics with your parents, and you should be fine.

The kid in this story had to deal with his mother meddling in his work because she was convinced he was unemployed, while he was actually working fully remotely and taking care of her. Her meddling went as far as stealing his ID and credit card and forcing him to apply for jobs he didn't need. Eventually, this led the poor kid to ask his manager to relocate him, which they did, to a totally different country. The kid is now extremely happy to leave his mother behind while he works on his career.

Keep scrolling to read the full story. After that, check out this story of a manager who rescinded a job offer after the candidate couldn't start working the next day.

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  • 01
    ASSPORT "She took my ID and refused to give it back until I send out resumes" val card Arrival card Immigration BUT Please write clearly in block letters and mark wmn Family name 44 YYYY rth
    via pixelshot
  • 02
    Want to force me to give out resumes when I already have a job? Fine then.
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 03
    I (22M) am the primary caretaker of one of my family members. Among other chronic illnesses, she is a diagnosed narcissist with early dementia.
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 04
    As per my family's request, I moved with her and took an online job as a trilingual translator to ensure I would be there 24/7 should she have an emergency. Somehow, she has
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 05
    interpreted my constant presence as me not having a job, despite me explaining several times that I did, in fact, work. She went to the point of stealing my ID and debit card, saying she would not be
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 06
    giving them back to me unless I gave out resumes where she told me to. I have searched the whole house and couldn't find them so I was forced to comply.
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 07
    I have a huge amount of respect for people who work in these fields, but I am not taking a job as a cleaner or a cashier when I work in my field of choice. That's when
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 08
    I noticed all the places she was forcing me to send out resumes to were requesting a cover letter. This is where the malicious compliance takes place. I took an
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 09
    already written cover letter and changed some details so it'd be like I wrote it myself. I made her read it and approve it as per her request, then added the following sentences in my second paragraph:
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 10
    "If this letter arrives on your desk, please know that this application has been sent without my consent. Already having an online. full-time job, please do not take it into consideration."
    via Antihateaccount_
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    As you can imagine, I didn't get called back much. Only one place sent me an email, and once | explained the situation their HR team wished me luck with my situation and told me this motivated them to read cover letters more carefully.
    via Antihateaccount_
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    At the same time, I contacted my boss. I knew they sometimes open in-office positions and my boss is one of the nicest people I know, so I contacted her and asked if there was any way I could
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 13
    get the next in-office position, telling her why exactly I was asking that. I've been working there for 6 months and she never had any complaints about me, so she sent me a permanent
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 14
    contract starting in January 2025 for their office. It's overseas, in a country where I'm legally allowed to work without a work visa. I won't specify which country, since I have the intention of
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 15
    disappearing there. My flight is already booked, and only my best friend knows what is going on. I have a letter already written out where I tell my family to not warn the authorities. As soon as I land
    via Antihateaccount_
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    my bank account will be closed and my phone subscription cancelled, and after 5 years, I will ask to become a citizen in that country and won't renew the paperwork necessary to prove my citizenship in my birth country.
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 17
    I have 3 younger siblings, all of them are still in middle school. They have their own email addresses that our parents don't know about, so I will send them an email telling them this is not
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 18
    their fault and that they're the only ones in the family who are allowed to contact me. I'll also add that I will answer to any questions they have once they turn 18.
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 19
    I'm excited. I'm excited to start a new life, I'm excited to get out of this family who has been the source of most of my problems for my whole life. I'm excited to finally escape toxic people in a toxic environment that was
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 20
    destroying my mental health. Only two months left and after 22 long years of waiting I'll finally be free. All of this because my last straw was forcing me to send out job applications.
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 21
    Savage_Ruler Re-issue the ID and report the debit card lost. Problem solved.
    via Savage_Ruler
  • 22
    Spl4sh3r The only issue I have with all of this... does your home country require you to renew citizenship?
    via Spl4sh3r
  • 23
    Antihateaccount_ OP When I say "renew citizenship" I mean renewing all the paperwork (ID, passport, healthcare card...) required for me to prove I am a citizen of my birth country. They're valid for 10 years, mine expire in 8.
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 24
    Lazy_Industry_6309 I'd report the theft of your property. Surely simpler than what you did.
    via Lazy_Industry_6309
  • 25
    Antihateaccount_ OP Only a temporary solution as she could just do it again with the new ID and debit card, and in my birth country it costs the equivalent of $150 to get an ID renewed more than 6 months before it expires.
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 26
    Plus her behaviour towards me has been an ongoing issue for years. I just took the first opportunity to find my way out.
    via Antihateaccount_
  • 27
    Contrantier I'm glad you're escaping from all this, I kind of get the feeling you never wanted to do it in the first place. But you've got someone else who can step in and care for her after you leave, right?
    via Contrantier
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    Antihateaccount_ OP •4d ago It has not been my concern so far, it's one of the last things I'll take care of before leaving. I'll start the paperwork necessary for her to get governmental help to hire a nurse or any other accommodation she
    via Antihateaccount_
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    might need. For now I need to arrange accommodation abroad for me, and check I do not need anything else before permanently leaving.
    via Antihateaccount_

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family drama malicious compliance mother work malicious-compliance-reddit reddit story parenting workplace resume entitled family Reddit mom parents employment
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