Bride battles friend over 6-year-old "niece" who is banned from attending her wedding: 'She assumed [she] would be the exception'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Nov 5, 2024 12:00 PM EST

Enforcing "no children allowed" policies at weddings can be treacherous territory. On the one hand, you want to manifest the ideal day that you've been dreaming about for (possibly) your entire life, and on the other, you run the risk of straining relationships and alienating friends and family with children who might struggle to find childcare for the day or weekend—and also those who could find childcare but complain anyways because they find it mildly inconvenient. 

I've probably written this a million times when these types of topics come up: If you think you're the exception to the rule, the rule was probably made for you. And besides, the problem is that if you make a hard and fast rule and then start making exceptions, you might as well not have made the rule in the first place because everyone is going to want to be the exception.

This bride ran into difficulties with one of her closest friends when she set a "no children" policy for her own wedding. To be fair to her friend, her children considered the bride to be an auntie, a fact that the friend has seemingly tried to emotionally leverage to get her to cave. The bride shared her situation with this online community, hoping to gauge whether her reaction of sticking to her decision was appropriate. See her account of events and the reactions below.

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    Cheezburger Image 10424669952
    via Jayson Hinrichsen

    Image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Image is for illustration only and subjects are models.

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    AITA for not letting my friend's kid attend my "no children" wedding, even though they're like family? Not the My wedding is coming up, and my partner and I decided on a strict "no children" policy for the event. We want a certain atmosphere, and honestly, weddings can be long and boring for kids. One of my closest friends has a 6-year-old who I'm very close to-they even call me "aunt." She assumed her kid would be the exception and was hurt when I told her it wasn't possible. She says I'm being
    via No_Warning_992
  • 03
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the ah le: I might be the a hole because I set a "no children" rule for my wedding but made an exception for other friends' kids. This hurt my friend, whose child I'm very close to, and she felt singled out and excluded. My actions caused her to feel like I value other friends more, and she sees it as unfair. I understand why she might feel hurt, so I'm questioning if I was wrong to enforce the rule inconsistently.
    via No_Warning_992
  • 04
    Thunder-chicken300 No, your wedding & you have the complete say as to how you want it. Besides no child that age will last an hour, you're doing the parents a favor. I was best man at my closest friend's wedding. A strict Catholic wedding. During the vows some inconsiderate parent would not leave with their crying child & the Groom stopped the priest, turned & yelled "SHUT THAT | KID UP". It all could have been avoided.
    via No_Warning_992
  • 05
    MustangTheLionheart NTA - Your friend assumed incorrectly even though there was no reason for them to think “no children” didn't mean her child. We all know what happens when people assume so hopefully your friend still has enough time to find a sitter if they still want to come to the wedding. Main thing is to be polite and understanding if your friend says they can't come as a result.
    via No_Warning_992
  • 06
    Hum... Edit to change to YTA. You claimed to want a child free event but then made exceptions. You clearly don't value the friend very much. Original comment less judgement: Why would your friend assume their kid would be an exception? That's kind of ridiculous. A child free wedding is child free not child free except. -
    via No_Warning_992
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    WhizGidget YTA. You made an exception for other kids. Were these older kids? Were they family or not close? Granted, it's your wedding and your rules, but if you're making exceptions and excluding a kid that is as close family, then I stand by my ruling.
    via No_Warning_992
  • 08
    Open_Error_5596 NTA. But just as it's your decision to not want kids, it's their decision to not want to attend without their kids.
    via No_Warning_992
  • 09
    justloriinky Why did you make an exception for other people's kids? I think it's interesting that you only mention that you made exceptions in your recap and not in your actual post.
    via No_Warning_992
  • 10
    PaperGardenias YTA BECAUSE THIS WHOLE POST IS FAKE.
    via No_Warning_992
  • 11
    OOK Mandajolene123 YTA. You state you say no because you want to be consistent but in your explanation on why you might be TA you state you made an exception for other friends' kids and ask if it's wrong to enforce the rule inconsistently. You can't even keep your story consistent.
    via No_Warning_992
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    Outrageous_Fox_35... Why is there always some entitle adult thinking their kid can bypass the rules. This happened to me as well, cause a riff and hard feelings. I have gone to several weddings, and my kid needed a sitter. My advice to all, grow up and let the wedding couple make their own respect it. decisions and
    via No_Warning_992
  • 13
    rosered936 YTA. Your post and your bot response contradict each other. Your post says you want to keep everything consistent but your response says you did make exceptions for other friends. There is no way to avoid hurting someone when you enforce a rule unequally. You are basically telling your friend that while some kids are ok, hers is not. If you said no kids and stuck with no kids then it would be fine.
    via No_Warning_992
  • 14
    Hour-Equivalent-6189 YTA it's not a no kids wedding if you made exceptions for the kids of your other friends, that's a key bit of context you should definitely have included in your original post
    via No_Warning_992
  • 15
    Stormy_Cat_55456 YTA due to the AITA bot reasoning
    via No_Warning_992

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aita wedding party wedding drama kids friends wedding weddings children
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