Employee set boundary to not answer any work calls after 7 PM, boyfriend answers her bosses call on her phone at 8:30 PM and tattles on her: '[He said] I was too busy relaxing to talk'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 5, 2024 8:00 PM EST

I hate people who act like Reddit characters in real life. You know exactly who I'm talking about…the dudes who always try to make themselves the epic main characters of any situation by shutting down "the man" in the most corny manner. I'm all for sticking it to the man, but you don't have to do it without tact. Most of the stories on Reddit where people pwn their tyrannical boss are either made up for engagement or result in some long-term consequences that don't fit into the narrative they're trying to spin. 

It's one thing to screw up your own working life by "asserting boundaries" in a foolish way, but it's not okay to do that to your partner. A woman recently went viral on Reddit after her boyfriend answered a late-night call from her boss and told him that she was too busy relaxing to speak with him. What an idiot. 

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    via bruce mars

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    AITA for telling my boyfriend he crossed a line with my work-life balance?
    via u/Leading-Science-6302
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    I (28F) work long, intense hours at a high-pressure job, and my boyfriend (30M) knows this. Recently, I finally set boundaries to stop taking work calls after 7 pm. This has helped me unwind and prioritize our time together, which he initially seemed to support. Last night, my boss called around 8:30 pm, but I ignored it. My boyfriend asked why I didn't pick up, and I explained | didn't want work intruding on my evening. To my shock, he picked up my
    via u/Leading-Science-6302
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    phone and answered the call himself, saying I was "too busy relaxing to talk." I was mortified! My boss sounded annoyed, and I had to spend 30 minutes on the call, only because he made it sound like I was slacking off. Afterward, I was furious and told him it wasn't his place to interfere with my work like that. He thinks I'm overreacting and "shouldn't be ashamed" of setting boundaries. AITA?
    via u/Leading-Science-6302
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    Historical_World7179 ⚫18h ago ⚫ Edited 8h ago Part ipant [1] Wow, this is really inappropriate. He just undermined you and damaged your relationship with your boss. To me it's creepy that he even answers your phone at all unless there was an emergency, much less when he knows it's your boss calling. NTA. Edit for all the men “unable” to understand: yes, prior to cell phones we all answered landlines for each other. The very obvious difference is that those were almost always communal lines. Cell
    via u/Historical_World7179
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    like one another to answer each other's phones, doing this can often be considered intrusive for both the person whose phone you answered and the caller who was not expecting to interact with you. If you are doing this in any way to screen your partner's calls or gain access to information you wouldn't otherwise have, then you are engaging in abusive behavior. Examine your motives carefully.
    via u/Historical_World7179
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    Leading-Science-6302 OP • 18h ago • Yeah, it was unsettling. I'm definitely setting stricter boundaries now, especially around my phone.
    via u/Leading-Science-6302
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    PhilosophicalHorror NTA If you continue with him, tell him you're setting a boundary, and he needs to prove he is able to respect boundaries. Pretty hypocritical to try to support your boundaries while breaking them so openly.
    via u/PhilosophicalHorror
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    Leading-Science-6302 OP Good point! I'll definitely talk to him about respecting boundaries fully.
    via u/Leading-Science-6302
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    AdditionalWall4468 what the f, tell him it's never okay for him to handle your personal life without your input. NTA
    via u/AdditionalWall4468
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    Maximum_Law801 So, your boyfriend wants you to spend more time with him, or what? He apparently wants you to loose your job at least.
    via u/Maximum_Law801
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    Leading-Science-6302 OP It almost felt like he didn't care about the consequences at all
    via u/Leading-Science-6302
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    ArrrrghB Is he trying to sabotage you? I cannot imagine an average adult with typical cognitive abilities would think this this is acceptable or helpful behavior. There is actually no universe where he truly thinks he was helping you enforce your boundaries like omg. ETA: NTA.
    via u/ArrrrghB
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    MyFoundersStayed That's what it feels like to me. NO ADULT IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would do that.
    via u/MyFoundersStayed
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    MaleficentProgram997 You already set a boundary by not answering your phone. Your BF was way out of line and please don't let him gaslight you into thinking you're overreacting. That was way inappropriate and undermined you to your boss.
    via u/MaleficentProgram997
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    faqhiavelli 18h ago Part ipant [2] he picked up my phone and answered the call himself, saying I was "too busy relaxing to talk." And then: He thinks I'm overreacting and "shouldn't be ashamed" of setting boundaries. These two things are utterly contradictory.
    via u/faqhiavelli
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    He told on you in a bid to f I with your boundaries, as well as shame you, humiliate you, and get you in sh. Then he implied he was helping enforce your boundary, AND tried to make out your anger was due to you feeling ashamed of setting boundaries! This guy is not just an a_h_le. He is out to f and is extremely manipulative. you over,
    via u/faqhiavelli
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    The_Balmy_Bee What the actual f did I just read. Girl, go.
    via u/The_Balmy_Bee
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    ThrowRASnarlyJ2 Um absolutely NTA. Him saying he was trying to help you set a boundary is gaslighting, because he quite clearly made it much more difficult for you to enforce that boundary. There was zero reason to answer the phone but if he really wanted to tell you boss to back off he could have said "OP is getting ready for bed, it's really not an appropriate time for a work call, but I'll let her know to check in with you in the AM." Saying she's too busy relaxing is basically saying "hey sh
    via u/ThrowRASnarlyJ2
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    What your boyfriend was doing was actively sabotaging your job/career. I don't know why. But it's hard to imagine any good reason for it. I don't know how long y'all have been together and if this is out of the blue I'm not going to tell you to dump him. But certainly make crystal clear he may never answer your phone except in a medical emergency. And if he does it anyway, yeah you gotta leave or its basically permission to trample all over your wants/needs.
    via u/ThrowRASnarlyJ2
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    xhevnobski NTA. He could have cost you your job tbh, and that's not his place to make a decision like that. Especially when you already decided you wouldn't answer.
    via u/xhevnobski
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    DotAffectionate87 NTA, All these people saying set work boundaries (inc your BF) etc? They gonna pay your salary when your fired? You choose to not answer the phone after 7pm, IS setting a boundary' your BF was a d**k here, why would he do this??
    via u/DotAffectionate87

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toxic-boyfriend boyfriend boss workplace-stories job phone call work phone reddit story relationships reddit thread Reddit toxic relationship relationship drama
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