Bride removes best friend as made of honor after she reveals pregnancy, throws tantrum when asked to reimburse costs of bridal shower and bachelorette party her friend paid for: 'Her reason? I'm getting too fat'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 14, 2024 6:00 PM EST

While they are supposed to be a joyful celebration of love, few events manage to bring out the worst in people like weddings do. All that planning and pressure to have the perfect day encourages feuds between family and friends that go way beyond the usual petty arguments. The bridezilla is a well-worn stereotype for a reason, and some wives-to-be can be especially egregious. They are willing to throw away important relationships just because they don't fit into their wedding vision. 

One woman recently suffered the painful consequences of this when her best friend unexpectedly turned on her as she prepared for her wedding. She had been appointed maid of honor, but after she announced her pregnancy her friend decided she wasn't right for the role because she was "too fat". Understandably, this led to her refusing to attend the ceremony and asking to be reimbursed for her friend's pre-wedding events, which she had paid for. The bride wasn't happy, and for different reasons, neither was Reddit.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10428494080
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to attend my best friend's wedding after she replaced me as MOH because I'm "too fat" (I'm pregnant) and asking her to pay me back for everything?
    via TelephoneConstant270
  • 03
    I (27F) have been best friends with "Claire" (28F) since high school. When she asked me to be her Maid of Honor, I was thrilled and went all out to make her wedding special. I paid for the bridal shower, bachelorette party (a weekend trip), decorations, and other expenses, spending several thousand dollars. While it was a lot of money for my husband and me, I wanted to make her big day perfect because she's like family to me. Two months ago, I shared that I'm 4 months pregnant. Claire congratula
    via TelephoneConstant270
  • 04
    A few days ago, she sat me down and told me she didn't want me in the wedding anymore. Her reason? I'm "getting too fat," and she doesn't want me in the pictures. She said she has a specific "vision" for her wedding, and I no longer fit it. I was devastated. I asked if this was about my pregnancy, but she insisted it wasn't personal. She said she was replacing me as MOH with another friend who fit her "aesthetic."
    via TelephoneConstant270
  • 05
    I told her if I wasn't in the wedding, I wouldn't attend at all. I also handed her the receipts for everything I'd paid for and told her she or her fiancé needed to reimburse me since I'd only spent that money as her MOH. Claire flipped out, calling me selfish and accusing me of trying to ruin her wedding. She said it was "tacky" to ask for the money back and that expenses like these were "my responsibility as MOH." I reminded her that she removed me from that role, so those expenses were no lon
    via TelephoneConstant270
  • 06
    Since then, Claire, her fiancé, and even her family have been spamming me with calls and texts. They're accusing me of being petty and overreacting because of "pregnancy hormones." They're also saying I should've just let it go and written off the money because weddings are stressful, and Claire didn't mean to hurt me. My husband has been incredibly supportive and says I did the right thing. He's furious at how Claire treated me and agrees that I shouldn't be out thousands of dollars for a weddi
    via TelephoneConstant270
  • 07
    I feel heartbroken and humiliated by someone I thought was my best friend. Still, the constant backlash has made me second-guess myself. AITA for standing up for myself and asking for reimbursement? Should I have just quietly stepped aside?
    via TelephoneConstant270
  • 08
    StAlvis ΝΤΑ Bruh. She said it was "tacky" to ask for the money back she didn't want me in the wedding anymore. Her reason? I'm "getting too fat," and she doesn't want me in the pictures.
    via StAlvis
  • 09
    TelephoneConstant270 OP It sounds like a big joke, I didn't think stuff like this actually happened irl and I never expected it from her.
    via TelephoneConstant270
  • 10
    East_Bee_7276 • 16h ago • Sounds to me like she's afraid of being upstaged "Main Character Syndrome." She also waited till it was close enough to the wedding where the majority of the expensive costs were paid for before releasing OP from her duties. Your right ask for that money back!!! Take her to small claims if you have to!! Threat her with that, too. She literally thought she could tell OP she's getting fat (weird how she uses that term & not pregnant to describe OP) & OP would just roll ov
    via East_Bee_7376
  • 11
    Ducky818 NTA. Glad your husband has your back. Both of you can enjoy some quiet time instead of Clare's "aesthetic." You shouldn't be out thousands of $ but you are now out 1 friend. Unfortunately, she has picked photos over a friendship. I see no problem asking for reimbursement for the money you spent in a role you got fired from. If need be, file in small claims court (& be petty and do it before the wedding) to recoup your money. Pregnancy hormones have nothing to do with this. Of course you
    via Ducky818
  • 12
    Pretty-Tax-4168 NTA and I wouldn't be calling her a friend
    via Pretty-Tax-4168
  • 13
    TelephoneConstant270 OP It's just hard when she completely changed out of nowhere, I have never seen this side of her before.
    via TelephoneConstant270
  • 14
    Environmental_Art591 Are you sure about that. Think back long and hard over your friendship. It might not be shallow or superficial but maybe jealousy (you doing things before her). either she has always been like this and you never noticed or she has just given up and dropped the mask because she doesn't care anymore.
    via Environmental_Art591
  • 15
    LaurenDelarey ask any fat girl from your high school if this is really out of nowhere.
    via LaurenDelarey
  • 16
    Brainjacker When on EARTH did it become other people's "responsibility" to pay thousands of dollars for someone else's wedding!??? You shouldn't have dropped that money in the first place but now at least you don't have to waste any more time thinking this person is your friend. NTA
    via Brainjacker
  • 17
    TopSentence9062 This is what I was thinking!? Why would she have spent so much anyway?? Thousands?? Absolutely wild. but obv NTA OP. I'd be devastated if someone I considered a friend valued pictures more than my friendship.
    via TopSentence9062
  • 18
    Chilling_Storm NTA and I hope you get your money back. What a selfish myopic person Claire is regarding this wedding. Her vision has clouded the actual reasoning behind the wedding/reception, and that is to celebrate with family and friends the union of two people. It isn't a vision board or a movie production. It is those we love and care about, tall, short, fat, thin, wrinkles and pregnancy ALL OF IT. Those are the people who choose to spend their money and their time to celebrate the union. I
    via Chilling_Storm
  • 19
    EmceeSuzy Of course you are NTA but I was prepared to suggest that you should have graciously covered the expenses and walked away. But SCREW THAT. She had the gall to call you names after your request and her family got involved? You should continue to request reimbursement from the bride and also from any of her relatives who dare to suggest you are wrong.
    via EmceeSuzy
  • 20
    FlakyStrawberry6259 Have the shower and bachelorette weekend already occurred? I would be cancelling EVERYTHING
    via FlakyStrawberry6259
  • 21
    slap-a-frap NTA - friendship is over and for that, I'm very sorry. You need to get a lawyer because there is no way that her or any of her family is going to part ways with the money that she owes you. You need to get a lawyer to get that back. Or you can just write it off. If I was you, I would be getting a lawyer.
    via slap-a-frap
  • 22
    Dembopbopbopdoowop NTA The absolute irony of her calling you tacky. She's the tacky one, and you've got the literal receipts to prove it. Tell her family that they're welcome to cover the bride's bills for the wedding you're no longer part of if they're so worried about the costs 'ruining her wedding'. Or just block the lot of them and write this off as the cost of learning who your so-called friend really is. Congrats on your pregnancy. Wishing you all the best for birth and beyond.
    via embopbopbopdoowop
  • 23
    acciomalbec Weird, I looked up "tacky" in the dictionary and it says "A bride who asks their MOH to step down because they are too fat and do not fit their wedding aesthetic". NTA.
    via acciomalbec
  • 24
    Jazzlike_Property692 ΝΤΑ "Claire" sounds like an absolute garbage person and I hope you cut ties with her forever. Unfortunately, you didn't really have to front the money for the things you paid for, and since they're effectively gifts you aren't truly entitled to the money back. I hope you continue to bug the h_l out of her to try to get it anyway, because you do deserve it, but I wouldn't expect to actually receive it. Good luck with the new baby!
    via Jazzlike_Property692
  • 25
    PJfanRI ΝΤΑ Your "friend" isn't acting like one. In fact they're doing the exact opposite. There is nothing wrong with you asking for the money back, but I wouldn't expect to receive it. Cut her out of your life and focus on the much more important, and exciting, fact that you are 4 months pregnant. Congratulations and enjoy the journey with the people that really matter!
    via PJfanRI
  • 26
    real_boiled_cabbage2 You'll never see that money again. Think of it as an investment in your happiness. You'll never see that person again either. You paid to get her insulting, cruel attitude out of your life.
    via real_boiled_cabbage2
  • 27
    KateNotEdwina I don't get this "vision" that people want for their weddings now. I was just thrilled to be surrounded by my nearest and dearest on my wedding day.
    via KateNotEdwina

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friendship aita bride best friends bridal shower bachelorette party wedding argument pregnant reddit thread bridezilla Reddit money entitled people
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