‘I’m done': Aunt can't babysit her 3 nephews at the last minute, so her sister bashes her in front of the whole family, losing her free babysitter rights until she apologizes

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    AITA for refusing to babysit my sister's kids after she publicly called me "irresponsible" in front of our whole family?
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    I (26F) am the younger sister to "Emma" (34F), who has three kids (7, 4, and 2). Emma has been a single mom for the past few years, and while I respect her hard work, I feel like I've been roped into this unofficial "secondary parent" role without my consent, even though I love it at times - it is stressful.
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    Over the past year, she's come to rely on me as her primary babysitter. She'll often ask me to watch the kids at the last minute because she "needs a break" or wants to "run errands" without the stress. I've canceled my plans more times than I can count to help her out, and I did it because I wanted to, because she is my sister.
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    But last weekend I finally had something I was looking forward to: a close friend's birthday dinner. I'd been helping her plan it for weeks, and we were supposed to have this amazing girls' night at a fancy restaurant, followed by karaoke-something I never get to do with how much I'm helping my sister.
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    On the day of the party, Emma texted me in the afternoon, asking if I could watch the kids for "a few hours" so she could "recharge." I told her I couldn't because of my plans, and I expected her to respect that which she seemingly did. I assumed she found someone else or worked it out in the end.
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    Then, fast forward to the next evening at a family dinner. Out of nowhere, Emma goes off on me in front of everyone, saying I'm "irresponsible," "self-centered," and that I "have no idea what it's like to be a real adult" since I don't have kids of my own. She
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    even went on about how she "sacrifices everything" for her kids while I "party around like a teenager." I was mortified and honestly heartbroken. This was in front of our parents, aunts, uncles -everyone.
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    After dinner, I told her that I was done babysitting until she could apologize and start treating me with respect. She's been furious, saying I'm "abandoning" her and that "family should be there no matter what." It made me feel really bad and I felt as if I did abandoned her as sister with this demand.
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    My mom, of course, took her side, saying I should "let it go" because Emma is stressed and just needs my support as she is a single mum and yadayadayada.
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    I get that being a single mom is tough and I am her sister and she helped me out a lot too, but on the other side I feel like I'm being guilt-tripped and treated like her backup parent and not even a babysitter that can have other plans. AITA for saying enough is enough and setting this boundary?
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    Edit: Ok, so lots of people in the comments encourage me to set up firm boundaries. Lots of great advice here imo! Everyone's so positive and reminding me that boundaries are key. Now I see that I really do need to hold firm on them. Setting limits is something I've struggled with, especially when it's family. No apology from her yet, but I'll stay strong. Thanks so much for the support!
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    Beautiful-Honeydew19 I'd tell her she's right and she should never have an irresponsible person like you look after her children... U
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    Ok Childhood 9774 If she's been a single mom for several years and she has three kids, including a 2 year old, she should be careful who she's calling 'irresponsible'.
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    Goidelica Never babysit for her again, and move out as soon as you can. Your family openly takes you for granted. Your sister thinks you're her servant. NTA.
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    TA23429429349 Setting boundaries is crucial. Your sister needs to realize you have your own life too. Don't let her guilt- trip you into babysitting again. NTA.
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    content_great_gramma Be blunt and tell sister dearest that you have a life too. She had the kids, not you. She blew up at you for one refusal after you have changed your plans on numerous occasions to acommodate her.
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    She obviously considers you her unpaid nanny. Tell mom that she called you irresponsible because you turned her down ONE TIME!! As the British say she has blotted her copybook. When she calls you to sit in the future, quote a price and tell her she has to pay up front or she can find someone else.
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    Sensitive-Ad-5406 Group chat "For a year I've been a free, last minute babysitter. Screw my original plans, I did it. The one time I say no, you all turn rotten. So the doors are closed. I don't do free sh for ungrateful brats, family or not. You grandparents can start dropping sh last minute instead, since family is so important to you. Do not call or text me for a long time"

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