Man Claims He’s Entitled to Equity in Girlfriend’s House Since He Does Most of the Housework, Leading To a Legal Dispute When She Demands He Signs a Prenup

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 16, 2024 3:00 PM EST

Couples' feelings about signing a prenup before getting married are mixed and varied. On one hand, we all know the divorce rate, and how hard it has become to maintain a healthy and happy marriage, which means that people want to be prepared in case that happens to them. On the other hand, signing a prenup comes with some sort of statement that says – 'There is a small part of me that doesn't think this relationship is going to last', and no matter how small that part is, it can still be regarded as hurtful. 

Yet still, if two people enter a marriage when they are not in the same financial state, it is recommended they take legal precautions in case something goes wrong. Some people even take these precautions one step further, and come up with agreements before marriage is a consideration at all. The woman in this Reddit story is the perfect example of that. 

Scroll down to read what happened between this woman and her boyfriend after she asked him to sign an agreement waiving any ownership over the property she bought. After you are done, check out another story of a husband who refused to attend his in-law's Thanksgiving dinner.

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  • 01
    I gave him the agreement, which basically said I keep the house and doesn't owe spousal support in the event of a breakup. We got in a big fight because my partner wants to have equity in the house because of the housework he does.
    via Thanasantipan
  • 02
    WIBTA if I do not give my partner equity in the house in exchange for housework?
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 03
    This dispute involves the following parties: Me (33F) and my partner (36M). Throwaway! I have a good corporate job; I bought a townhouse 7 years ago when I was single. Met my
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 04
    partner 3 years ago. He moved into my townhouse. Pays occasional (well below market value) rent, buys occasional groceries. I cover well over 80+% of the expenses. My partner is a PhD student. When he moved in
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 05
    with me he cut a LOT of expenses. He no longer had to work his part time job to pay his rent in a shared apartment with 4 other guys. My partner does do more housework than I (60/40
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 06
    split), and he cooks more often (65/35). I do not mind this arrangement; I care about him deeply and we generally get along well and have a caring relationship.
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 07
    The issue is this: I am selling my townhouse and buying a house. I am fronting the entire cost, and am the only one on the mortgage. Before we move in, I asked my partner to sign a
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 08
    cohabitation agreement (basically a prenup for non married people). I gave him the agreement, which basically said I keep the house and doesn't owe spousal support in the event of a breakup. We got in a big fight
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 09
    because my partner wants to have equity in the house because of the housework he does. I think this is unfair. I know enough divorced couples to know you should always plan for the future.
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 10
    I'm worried about having to sell the house if we break up in order to pay him out. Am I crazy? AITA if I stick to my gis?
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 11
    EDIT: a few people are asking why this is even an issue if we aren't married. In my jurisdiction, if you cohabitate long enough you are considered common law spouses.
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 12
    We are getting to the point where if we break up, he would have a lot of the same rights as he would if we were married.
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 13
    East Parking8340 ⚫16h ago. Colo-rectal Surgeon [36] 60% of the housework does not equal half a home. That's called pulling your weight (except he doesn't as his financial contribution is close to zero). How utterly ridiculous of him.
    via East_Parking8340
  • 14
    He's 36 and a PHD student. As soon as he moved in he stopped working as much (really bad sign) but I'd bet everything that he doesn't use that additional time to speed up his PHD. By the time he gets it he'll be lucky if he's 40, then what? His resume will be so c. , ру
    via East_Parking8340
  • 15
    that he won't get a high paying job, he'll just keep on leeching from you. You have subsidised his life since before he moved in and he just sees you as a money tree. He's put no cash towards it whatsoever and will not put any money towards it in the future.
    via East_Parking8340
  • 16
    You'd be a complete and utter idiot if you allowed him any type of legal toehold on your property. Frankly, you'd be an absolute dunderhead if you maintain a relationship with such a user. NTA
    via East_Parking8340
  • 17
    Throwawaygirl3719... OP 16h ago This is very well put. Thank you.
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 18
    Mikey3800 12h ago Ah le Enthusiast [7] INFO: by housework, do you mean cleaning the house etc or repairs to the house? Either way, he doesn't deserve equity unless he made large improvements on the house that caused it to be able to sell for more money.
    via Mikey3800
  • 19
    Throwawaygirl3719... OP 12h ago Cleaning. I do all the improvements and repairs.
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 20
    Tiny_Brush_7137 • 16h ago Somebody should write this from a male perspective and all the comments will be YTA. If he's your partner there should be a way for him to build together with you.
    via Tiny_Brush_7137
  • 21
    I agree with you getting a co habitation agreement signed, but a better approach may be where you each get back whatever down payment you put in (include all closing costs), then split the equity.
    via Tiny_Brush_7137
  • 22
    Make sure he pays his share, which might not be 50% if your income is significantly higher but don't get taken advantage of on the month to month. Does this guy have any career prospects or his he a career student? Kick him in the a- he's 36 it's time for a real job.
    via Tiny_Brush_7137
  • 23
    Throwawaygirl3719... OP • 16h ago Yes this is what I'm worried about, and why I'm asking. Is it only fine bc I'm a woman? To be clear, he is not putting anything financial toward the house. I'm just not sure how what a
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 24
    fair way to build together is, like you say. It's hard to strip a balance. Thanks for your perspective!
    via Throwawaygirl371947
  • 25
    ninjastarkid 16h ago • A hle Enthusiast [6] The way my mom did it, is when she got married to my father she signed a contract and bought half of the house from him. Idk if she paid right away or over time (she was a single mother of a teenager).
    via ninjastarkid
  • 26
    It was for different reasons but maybe a similar arrangement could work. I don't think doing all of the chores would even equal the value of a house. I mean what you'd pay a cleaning lady a $100 to clean it
    via ninjastarkid
  • 27
    every week theoretically. Maybe a teenager $20 to mow the lawn. $100 for repairs here and there unless a remodel is required. That is nowhere near the cost of a house
    via ninjastarkid
  • 28
    Throwawaygirl3719... OP 16h ago Thanks for your perspective. That's something that might work!
    via Throwawaygirl371947

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boyfriend relationship advice aita drama house prenup relationship-drama buying a house reddit story relationships girlfriend advice couples love Reddit money dating
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