Young father builds family after being kicked out by parents at 15, rages when his aunt lets them meet his 4-year-old sons while she babysits: 'It wasn't her place'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 16, 2024 6:00 PM EST

Sadly, there are plenty of parents out there who are only willing to love their kids under certain conditions, and a lot of the time, they don't understand when their children reflect this behavior back to them. When you decide to make parenting into a job that you get to opt out of, it is not surprising that your child may not think the best of you—but that doesn't stop some from trying to make amends.

This is something that one husband and father had to deal with recently when his aunt allowed his parents to meet his 4-year-old twin sons. More than a decade earlier, they had kicked him out and left him homeless after his ex revealed his bisexuality to them. His aunt eventually took him in and allowed him to finish his education, where he met his wife and settled down. She argued strongly for reconciliation, but the young dad was having none of it. His trust had been betrayed.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10429016320
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for yelling at my Aunt after she let my parents see my kids?
    via Potential-Cheek-4551
  • 03
    I'm (26M) bi and when I was 15 I was dating one of my soccer teammates who was an ab sive POS who outed me to my homoph bic parents after I worked up the nerve to leave him. They subsequently kicked me out and I "survived" in the streets for almost 2 years until my Aunt found out about me when she came home from tour and took me in.... She helped me get back in school and graduate an then to get in college. I met my wife there and we have twin boys (4M).
    via Potential-Cheek-4551
  • 04
    My dad found out he was d ing of concer. He and my mom having been trying to get back in touch with me to reconcile and meet their grandkids. I've rejected them so far even though my Aunt urges me to try to reconnect. I told her no and I didn't even want them near my boys.. Me and my wife went out for our anniversary Saturday and my Aunt was watching the kids. My wife wasn't feeling well and we decided to call it an early night and I forgot to call my Aunt before we got there... I pull up and I
    via Potential-Cheek-4551
  • 05
    To say I was furious is an understatement. I immediately asked what the h I is going on. My wife tried to calm me down to no avail.. She takes the boys to the car.. My parents start talking about how they just wanted to meet them and I yell at them to get out. My Aunt says I'm not being fair to them. That they've tried to apologize for what happened.. I yell at her that it wasn't her place to let them and how it hurt seeing them.. I yell at her about how our family basically excommunicated her w
    via Potential-Cheek-4551
  • 06
    Chilling_Storm Your aunt should not have let your parents in to meet your children even if they showed up unannounced. Just because someone is knocking doesn't mean they get entry. She could have told them that yes she is watching your children but it is not for her to be making unilateral decisions. And just because she wishes she had made up with someone is no reason for her to foist that upon you, that decision is yours and yours alone. NTA And I am sorry this happened to you, it had to be ve
    via Chilling_Storm
  • 07
    penandpage93 I think the whole "they just showed up" thing is bulls They just happened to invite themselves over on the one night both OP and his wife are supposed to be out all night? And it also just haaaaappened to be the night that Aunt C'Mon-Give-'Em- A-Chance Pushover-Pants is babysitting??? Fishy, that's all I'm sayin' *
    via penandpage93
  • 08
    grmthmpsn43 I agree, this feels like it was planned so OP would not know about it, it does make you wonder if this has happened before or if this was the first time.
    via grmthmpsn43
  • 09
    Agostointhesun If the kids were relaxed and playing with OP's parents, I bet it's not the first time.
    via Agostointhesun
  • 10
    Sleepy TomCats NTA. No way they just happened to show up on the very night your aunt is watching them for you and even if they did she should have said they couldn't come in without clearing it with you first.
    via SleepyTomCats
  • 11
    EsmeWeatherwax7a Yep, Aunt can't be trusted on this. She's using your kids to work through her issues. I'm afraid you'll need to find a new babysitter. Nobody who tosses their child out and leaves them to survive on the street is owed anything by that child ever, under any circumstances. People who didn't live your life can "but faaaaaamily" all day long; they don't get a say.
    via EsmeWeatherwax7a
  • 12
    OhDONCHAknoww NTA. What happened: Your Auntie has a big heart and big hearts bled into areas they don't belong as well. Most people's greatest strength is also their weakness. Parents: I am sure they regret what they did and genuinely want to meet your kids. You: Clearly made the decision to not attempt a repair, as your parents literally abandoned you. As a gay dude, I know the dangers and it's absolutely disgusting that they did this. This would've TRIGGERED me so hard, like a panic attack. Wi
    via OhDONCHAknoww
  • 13
    • I do think you need to apologize to your aunt and set boundaries • You need to calm yourself down and explain things further to your wife and apologize. • Your parents missed out on being grandparents the day they kicked you out. Trying to surprise reconciliation is cowardice and a half step at best, trying to force your hand. Gl m8
    via OhDONCHAknoww
  • 14
    AsparagusWTweak The aunt doesn't deserve an apology. The only person who deserves an apology is OP. The boundaries were already set and the aunt disregarded them. Even if the parents turned up unannounced or whatever, the aunt let them in.
    via AsparagusWTweak
  • 15
    NackyDMoose Aunt knows a bit of what OP went thru as she was kicked out of the family for her sexuality as well. She should have respected that he didn't want contact and she has a perspective he doesn't
    via NackyDMoose
  • 16
    hamigua_mangia OP certainly could apologize to her if he wanted, just to keep their relationship amicable (not that she deserves one necessarily, but if he wants to keep in contact with her I'd imagine he say sorry for yelling or something). That said, if I were OP, I'd never trust her alone with my kids again. I'm sure she meant well, but the road to hol is paved with good intentions. She crossed clear boundaries because she thought she was doing the right thing. What happens next time she thin
    via hamigua_mangia
  • 17
    GaimanitePkat I doubt his parents regret anything. They want access to the children. They're all okie dokie with OP because he married a woman and "isn't gay anymore", not because they're genuinely remorseful about their homoph bia and abandonment of their own son.
    via GaimanitePkat
  • 18
    CivilAsAnOrang NTA. Your Aunt is lying. She knew. That said, she is probably understandably struggling with the thought of her brother dying. So, if I were you, I'd allow limited communication with her, but no alone time with the kids and she is not allowed to harass you about your parents. As to them "trying to apologize," who cares? Does their apology travel back in time and undo what they did? Only children think saying "sorry" is enough for every wrong done.
    via CivilAsAnOrang
  • 19
    ་ PDK112 NTA. At 15 years old. They threw him out at 15 and didn't care what happened to him.
    via PDK112
  • 20
    kharmatika ΝΤΑ You had EVERY right to be angry at your aunt, what she did was absolutely unacceptable. Her trauma is no excuse for disregarding your wishes. And I don't buy for a second that they just HAPPENED to show up the one time you and your wife were out. You don't have to cut her off, inb4 a bunch of people screeching that no contact is the only option. She's family and clearly she's been through h I and this was clearly a trauma reaction, but you are NOT the a hole. Tell her she needs to
    via kharmatika
  • 21
    ApprehensiveBook4214 NTA. If you had kids with a husband instead of a wife they'd want nothing to do with them. In their minds you marrying a woman means you're "cured". Your aunt decided to ignore your express instructions to use your kids as her therapy tools. I'd go no contact for a long while. Only consider resuming contact once she gives a sincere apology and demonstrates she understands her wrongdoing. (I don't think she'll do this quickly -if ever- which is why I say a long time.). Tell h
    via ApprehensiveBook4214
  • 22
    Bunny_Bixler99 ΝΤΑ Pretty sure the folks saying you shouldn't have yelled at your aunt have never been traumatized by their own family. To suddenly come face to face with the people that abandoned and ab sed you would be triggering and yelling would be a visceral, real reaction. You have nothing to apologize for.
    via Bunny_Bixler99
  • 23
    Recent-Necessary-362 NTA your kids aren't your aunts therapy dolls. She doesn't get to use them to fix whatever she's got going on with your dad. You said NO, end of discussion. Time to cut off aunt too.
    via Recent-Necessary-362
  • 24
    Swardyn Your aunt is allowed to be upset about her relationships with her family. But she made her choices. She took away your choice. You're NTA to be mad at her. Were you maybe less kind than you would have liked... maybe. Did a person that you trusted for so long to be on your side betray your wishes.....definitely. And you reacted accordingly. When you calm down a bit you can talk to your aunt. She hopefully realizes she made a mistake and owns it. Sending hugs
    via Swardyn

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aita parenting reddit thread Reddit kids kicked out relationships babysitting aunt argument parents
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