Woman Refuses to Donate to Christmas Charity at Work, Despite Being Pressured By Entitled Coworker, She Puts Her Foot Down, Admonishes Alerting HR

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Nov 24, 2024 3:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Christmas is a special time. It's the time of giving, getting, family, and that warm, fuzzy feeling that everything is okay in the world. For most people, you spend the day with family, you open presents under the tree, you have a big, warm dinner together, and you may even go out to look at neighborhood lights or sing carols. But barring religion, it's not a ubiquitous experience to have the luxury to do those things. This brings us to the Reddit thread. 

In this story, the original poster (OP) is a woman who was brought up in poverty, meaning her version of Christmas is vastly different from what you imagine from Hallmark cards and tacky Christmas movies about unrequited love. She associates the holiday with not so nice memories, and doesn't feel the need to partake in it in any way. That is until her coworker starts an entitled demand. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH • 12 hr. ago BlackGirlKnickers AITA for telling a coworker that I'll go to HR if they keep pushing the Xmas adopt a family on me?
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 02
    My job has adopted a family for Xmas and there are many options to choose from to get each adult and child. The gift options have started to fly off the board, cool but apparently someone has noticed that I haven't been joining in the conversation about what option they chose or what to buy a teenage boy/girl. I was
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 03
    asked if I chose something off the board and I simply replied that I don't celebrate Christmas. Said coworker then said that it didn't matter if I celebrated or not, that it was a time for giving and we should help those who can't do for themselves...
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 04
    Now little background on me. I grew up extremely poor as in when these holidays came around, it was nothing but misery for my siblings and I. Thanksgiving was just normal dinner for us unless we were forced to visit family and we rarely got anything for Christmas.
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 05
    My mom felt that we needed to be around family during the holidays so we were always forced to go over families houses for Xmas and watch the kids have everything we never had. Some of my worst childhood memories were waking up on Christmas Day to nothing. We never had a tree or presents to put under it.
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 06
    Always having to hear my younger siblings cry from disappointment and then being forced to go over a cousins house and watch them open their gifts. Watching them get the things | always wanted and toss them aside to never look at them again. Being asked what I got for Xmas and trying to decide to lie to not embarrass my mom or be honest
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 07
    and have them pity us is not something a child should do. At some point my mom signed us up for these adopt a family/firetruck to bring gifts/ whatever charity you could think of just like the one my job is doing. She did for years (I know. as I was usually with her when she signed us up) and no one ever came through for us, ever. So it's
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 08
    safe to say that I feel some kind of way about these so called 'charities' and learned a couple of things early in life and vowed to never contribute yo these things because no one cared about me and my siblings so why should I care for anyone else this time or year? Why should I go out of my way to help when we were never
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 09
    helped. People metaphorically said f my mom and her kids so f them and their kids.
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 10
    So back to my coworker. I told her that these people are not my responsibility and if she felt so strongly about it then to grab an extra card off the board. I know I shouldn't have said that but the anger in me just spilled over. Then replied that I didn't have to be a grinch to which I said, 'if you keep harassing me about what |
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 11
    chose to not celebrate then it will become an HR issue. The dropped it after that.
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 12
    Now I don't feel bad for what I said and I stand by how I feel, but honestly it kills me how self righteous people can be about these things. Most just do it to make themselves feel better and think they changed a child's life with a $10 Walmart gift card. But I overheard some talking about the incident and it put me in a bad
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 13
    light. I know I don't owe anyone an explanation but I didn't like hearing being talked about like that without any context. AITA for how I responded?
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 14
    Edit: I think some people are missing the point here. My job has adopted 1 family and the cards are a number of different things they want, so for the people who are saying that I'm ruining some kids Xmas, you're wrong. They're getting stuff from everyone else, just not me. Also just because I choose to not
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 15
    donate to random strangers (like most people choose not to do) doesn't mean I don't give back in other ways. My family is my priority and they will be provided for first and foremost and that taught me that me and mine will never come before anyone else's own family. They didn't owe us anything and I'm simply adopting
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 16
    that same mindset. Anyone else who says otherwise is lying. My nieces and nephews will never know the hurt my siblings and I felt over the holidays. And finally, I work hard for my money so I'm going to spend it how I like on whom I like.
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 17
    I just find it funny that some of you are so sanctimonious and hypocritical. How often do you donate, especially in this economy? Also how often do you donate to poor children outside of the holiday season? As someone in the comments mentioned, there's more than just the holiday season that poor kids need things.
    via u/BlackGirlKnickers
  • 18
    BlueGreen_1956 • 11h ago NTA Top 1% Commenter I have a very simple rule about any kind of solicitation:
    via u/BlueGreen_1956
  • 19
    Once I say "No, thank you," if you proceed to say anything else, you open yourself up to being told to gof yourself.
    via u/BlueGreen_1956
  • 20
    shammy_dammy • 12h ago. Top 1% Commenter NTA. This is not compulsory and they need to stop harassing you over it.
    via u/shammy_dammy
  • 21
    cryssylee90 10h ago Top 1% Commenter Having the "other small kids should suffer the way I did" mindset is gross IMO but it still doesn't mean you should be forced to participate so NTA on that front.
    via u/cryssylee90
  • 22
    Get therapy though. Wishing other innocent kids to feel the same things you felt because others didn't come through for you isn't healthy. And I say this as someone who was in the exact same situation you described, so this isn't coming from a place of "not getting it". No one, but
    via u/cryssylee90
  • 23
    especially a child, should have to suffer.
    via u/cryssylee90

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christmas drama work coworkers relationships lol love workplace reddit thread Reddit funny holidays dating
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