Woman Allows Husband's Ex Wife to Stay in Her Home During Messy Divorce, Family Members Criticize Decision Despite Peaceful Cohabitation: 'Stop devaluing yourself'

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Nov 26, 2024 5:00 PM EST

Welcome, women of the WWW. Society has conditioned us to hate our partners' exes. They are either evil, wretched women who hurt and broke our significant others' hearts, or they were far too perfect, becoming a source of unhealthy comparison and jealousy. However, it is actually a good sign if your partner is in good terms with his exes. Sometimes, breakups happen because two people are simply incompatible romantically — no toxicity, no red flags, no drama. Unfortunately, some couples do not come to realize this until their lives are too intertwined to untangle fully.

In our story today, our protagonist allows her husband's ex wife to crash in her house while she undergoes a messy divorce. The ex and her husband have a sincere and wholesome relationship, allowing them to raise their child in a healthy atmosphere despite their separation. Our protagonist's family, unable to understand the dynamic, criticize her for her decision to open her home to someone in need. Scroll down for the full story.

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  • 01
    r/Amlthe u/Competitive-End3344 • 15h WIBTA if I tell my husbands ex she has to move out?
    via u/Competetive-End3344
  • 02
    I (35F) have been married to my husband (37M) for 1 year but we've been together for 3. He has 2 children (6F) (8M) from his previous relationship. (We do not have any kids together.) Their mom Anne (34F) has one other child (4F). They have a good co-parenting relationship and Anne and I get along. The Last week when Anne picked up the kids (we have week on week off) she told us that the
    via u/Competetive-End3344
  • 03
    kids might need to spend a few weeks with us because her and her current husband are getting a divorce. The house is in his name (he had it when they got together) and she's been a stay at home mom for their whole relationship. She said she was going to stay with her sister but they don't have enough room for all 3 kids.
    via u/Competetive-End3344
  • 04
    I jumped in before my husband could say anything and offered her the guest room and told her the girls can share a room here just like they do at her house. That way she didn't have to miss her time with the kids and we could help with her daughter while she gets a job and gets things figured out. She thanked us and said she'd let us know when she would be moving out as soon as she could.
    via u/Competetive-End3344
  • 05
    My husband asked me if was 100% okay with it, and that it would be fair to get her in here and then have an issue later. I told him I was okay and we'd work through anything that comes up.
    via u/Competetive-End3344
  • 06
    That was 3 months ago, she's lived with us for 2 months now and everything is great. It's actually better than great if I'm being honest. Having her here means I don't have to take both kids to the store if I need something for dinner. Housework is divided between 3 people. She's gotten a job and isn't having to pay for childcare (which is about $700 a week in our area) Even though I told her she didn't have to she is giving us $500 a month for bills.
    via u/Competetive-End3344
  • 07
    I was talking to my sister and cousin at our early thanksgiving and my sister said I'm crazy for letting her stay with us. That I'm "devaluing myself as a partner" and "being an a h le to myself" for allowing this to continue. My cousin agrees with her. She said the only reason his ex would agree to stay is if she still wanted to sleep with him and him agreeing means he wants it too.
    via u/Competetive-End3344
  • 08
    I don't see them behaving any differently than before, and I truly trust my husband. But now I'm starting to doubt my decision. WIBTA if I tell her she needs to find somewhere else to live? AITA to myself if I don't listen to them and let her stay?
    via u/Competetive-End3344
  • 09
    Update: Thank you all for your comments. You're right, this isn't the first time I've let my older sister's comments get into my head. I sent her a text and told her that my household isn't her concern and if she doesn't trust the man in her life she should focus on her own. Thanks for the reality check. Anne is over the number of sister wives comments. Have a good evening and happy holidays to every one <3 1,731 330 R
    via u/Competetive-End3344
  • 10
    BigPapaBear24 • 14h TBH, I think you're letting your family judge you on this. If things are going great, why change them? Just because two people who have no idea about the situation and are on the outside looking in are saying it's one thing vs. the other? It sounds like jealousy, if you ask me. Did they only say it after you gushed about how easy it was?
    via u/BigPapaBear24
  • 11
    For most people, this would be a h I no, but most people don't have the sort of relationship you have with your husband's ex. And, like, did they split amicably? Has she ever shown ANY sort of inappropriate desires to your husband?
    via u/BigPapaBear24
  • 12
    If you feel there's a reason to have her move out, then by all means do it. But don't let anyone force you to second-guess what you know to be true, either on Reddit or in your personal life. Ultimately, if you see no red flags or "dangers," then there's no reason to kick her out. ← Reply 1 2.1k
    via u/BigPapaBear24
  • 13
    Competitive-End 3344 OP 14h Yeah, they only said something after I told them that she was helping by making dinner a few times a week. Or helping with laundry. When I said it was making my life easier is when they started telling me I was crazy for letting it happen. They did split amicably, they got together young, rushed into marriage and babies because their parents wanted grandbabies and then figured out they weren't right for each other. ... ← 773
    via u/Competetive-End3344
  • 14
    BigPapaBear24 • 14h Yeah, sounds to me like you're just dealing with jealousy. Don't worry about it until it becomes an issue or you find cause to be upset about it. They can think its crazy all they want but don't let em get to you. ... ↑ 339
    via u/BigPapaBear24
  • 15
    MKatieUltra • 14h That sounds like a great arrangement, I wish my husband's ex wasn't trash. But absolutely don't let your family mess up a good thing. Reply ୪ 443
    via u/MKatieUltra
  • 16
    Competitive-End 3344 OP 14h I really did hit the lottery with that. When I found out he had kids with his ex I was prepared for all the things you think comes with it. But I asked to meet her before the kids, waited 6 months before I was introduced to them and did it with her there. I did everything I could not to rock the boat. But they had a good co-parenting relationship before I came along and she had already met her (now ex) husband so they went through it before. ... 243
    via u/Competetive-End3344
  • 17
    MKatieUltra • 14h That's fantastic. My daughter's biomom is AWFUL and I reeeeeally wanted a coparenting thing, but that couldn't have happened. I adopted her and biomom is out of the picture, which is great too.
    via u/MKatieUltra
  • 18
    Real adults can be civil after a breakup. My ex is one of my (and my husband's) best friends. He had a son after me and I love that kid so much. I DEFINITELY don't want to get back with my ex. He and his kid joined me, my husband, and our kid for trick or treating this year.☺ 105
    via u/MKatieUltra
  • 19
    Competitive-End3344 OP • 14h We took all of the kids to Disney last year together if anyone ever needs a true test of - a coparentling relationship Disney is it. 162
    via u/Competetive-End3344
  • 20
    Mobile_Following_198 14h YWBTA if you kicked out the ex based on your sister's and cousin's commentary. You don't have a problem with your husband's ex. You have a problem with your own spine. You even liked the arrangement you have going on until you mentioned it to someone else, and you allowed their baseless criticism to intrude on something that you yourself said was good for everyone involved. Like what you like, keep the husband's ex there until she's ready to move out if it's making every
    via u/Mobile_Following_198
  • 21
    thatstwatshesays • 12h Yes, absolutely. YWBTA IF you kicked her out for that reason. If sh ain't broke, don't fix it. You sound like your quality of life has improved since the addition of your husband's ex and unless your sisters offer you such support as well, why do they get to have an opinion?? ← 21
    via u/thatstwatshesays
  • 22
    eowynsheiress . 14h Ahle Aficionado [14] NTA. In fact you are AMAZING! I think you would be a fool to change the situation if it is truly working out well for everyone. The kids must love it.
    via u/eowynsheiress
  • 23
    Talk to your husband. See where he is at. This could be tough for him. But if he is cool with his ex being there, it seems like a winning situation. Probably best to start talking about the future with the ex though. I don't think even a good thing like this can last forever. Reply 23
    via u/eowynsheiress
  • 24
    canis_felis ⚫ 14h You're all happy with this arrangement, YWBTA to yourself if you asked her to move. Think about this critically. The reason modern life can be SO hard on mothers is because we used to share childcare with multiple people. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Reply 19
    via u/canis_felis

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family drama marriage married with children Female Empowerment adulting wife reddit story relationships husband couples exes divorce love breakup reddit thread Reddit dating
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