Woman Working in Male Dominated Office Files Complaint After Audacious Coworker Mocks Her Weight, Office Stir Starts When Fellow Employees Turn on Her: ‘Why can’t you take a joke?’

Advertisement
  • 01
    r/AITAH ⚫ 17 hr. ago friend_of_kalman AITAH for reporting my coworker to HR after he kept calling me names and mocking my appearance?
  • 02
    I (28F) work in a male-dominated office, and I've always tried to be professional and keep my head down. But there's this one coworker, "John" (53M), who constantly singles me out with r de comments-always framed as "jokes."
  • 03
    At first, it was subtle. He'd say things like, "Oh, careful, you might blow away in the wind!" or, "You should eat something; we don't need you fainting on us!” I'm naturally slim, and I've dealt with comments about my weight my whole life, so I just brushed it off.
  • 04
    But then it escalated. He started calling me "Stick" or "Twig" in front of others. Once, when I brought a salad for lunch, he constantly commented on it.
  • 05
    The breaking point came during a team meeting when he said, "Let's not give [my name] any heavy assignments—she might snap in half!" This was in front of our boss and a client. I was mortified, but I didn't say anything in the moment because I didn't want to seem "emotional" or unprofessional.
  • 06
    Afterward, I pulled John aside and told him his comments about my weight were inappropriate and made me uncomfortable. He smirked and said, "Jeez, don't take it so seriously. It's just a joke―you're so sensitive, no wonder people have a hard time working with you."
  • 07
    I went to HR the next day and filed a formal complaint. Now, John barely acknowledges me, and some of my other coworkers are acting cold toward me. One of them even said, "You really couldn't take a joke? You just made things awkward for everyone."
  • 08
    I don't want to cause drama, but I also feel like I shouldn't have to put up with being humiliated about my appearance at work. Am I overreacting? AITAH?
  • 09
    Lucy7892 17h ago << NTAH, those «< jokes » aren't funny, I think he is just trying to humiliate you and to cover it up by saying that he is joking. People like John and your coworkers are dumb for not seeing how inappropriate and mean this is
  • 10
    Nefariousness... • 17h ago • NTA - but your coworkers are. John for making all of these stupid "jokes" and the others for not telling him to STFU. Any chance that you can find a new job in a better work environment?
  • 11
    . KylexSunflowers • 17h ago • NTA! What you did was RIGHT. John's behavior was unprofessional and created a hostile work environment!
  • 12
    Astyryx • 15h ago • He's a Schrodinger's Ahle: it's a joke if you're offended. You should have gone to HR earlier, go now and establish a pattern of harassment and retaliation relating to your appearance.
  • 13
    Also document, document, document. As to coworkers, "I prefer to keep things professional at work."
  • 14
    CycloCyanide •17h ago • I'de go as far as reporting the other guy 2 that made a comment about you not being able to take a joke.
  • 15
    17h ago Edited 15h ago NTA: you tried to ignore it initially, then address it directly at the lowest level possible with him, and then you escalated. In my organization, I would have advised going to your supervisor before HR but maybe that's different in your organization.
  • 16
    Equal-Brilliant... • 14h ago Top 5% Commenter Ask them "I don't get the joke, can you explain it to me?" "How is bu ying me funny? I'd really like to know"
  • 17
    Make them uncomfortable. Don't let it go. Every time they bring it up ask them. "can you explain the joke to me? I want to laugh too" They'll give you some "oh you know..." and you say "no I don't know. Please explain it”
  • 18
    They know they're being ahles and will keep playing the victim And let HR know other people are also harassing you for "not being able to take a joke"
  • 19
    kalas_malarious • 14h ago He said something in front of your boss and clients, and your boss did not slap him down after? Your boss needs some new training or to be let go. NTA

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article