Mom gives away belongings of 19-year-old college student, protests when she moves out during summer vacation: 'She gave away my bed'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 7, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Parents can have a whole spectrum of reactions when the time comes for their kids to leave the nest and take their first steps towards independence. Some are devastated to see them leave, and others can't get rid of them fast enough. 

When it comes to this latter option, though, plenty of moms and dads are still willing to save a space for their children back at home—in particular if they're likely to be back and forth, as is often the case with college students. 

However, some parents are a little too eager to shut the door behind their kids as soon as they venture out into the world. They want to take their space back, and do what they please with it without worrying about any annoying complaints. It is no surprise that this can be the root of friction in adult parent-child relationships, and at its worst, the fallout can be dramatic.

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  • college student standing in room wearing a backpack and holding a binder
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • A 19-year-old college student felt like she had no choice but to stay elsewhere when she came home from summer vacation and found that her mom had given away many of her belongings. This included beloved clothes and books, a guitar from her grandfather, and even her bed.

    With her mom reasoning that she “needed the space”, the teenager decided to move out to her friend's family. Her mom was distraught at this reaction, and the daughter wanted to know if she had taken things too far.

  • AITA for moving out without telling my mom after she kept giving away my things while I was at college?

    Hi, I'm 19 and just finished my first year of college. I've been living in the dorms, but my official address is still my mom's house. I came home for the summer and realized a lot of my stuff was gone. When I asked her, she said she "did some cleaning" and "gave away things I didn't need anymore." But it wasn't junk. She gave away clothes I still wore, books that were special to me, a guitar my late grandfather gave me, and even my bed. She replaced it with a guest bed "for the aesthetic."
    via AnxietyGold2676
  • I told her I was upset, and she brushed it off. She said, "You don't live here anymore, so I needed the space." It really hurt. I tried to explain that even though I'm at college, I still consider this my home, and she never asked me before getting rid of anything. Her response was, "Well, if you want to keep your stuff, don't leave it here.” So I didn't.
    via AnxietyGold2676
  • woman sitting on a plastic wrapped sofa beside several cardboard boxes
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I quietly packed everything I had left and moved in with my friend's family, who generously offered their spare room. I didn't tell my mom until I was already moved out, and I told her I'd be getting a storage unit and staying elsewhere from now on. She blew up, called me ungrateful, said I was "abandoning" her, and told the whole family I was being dramatic over "some old junk." Now a few relatives are saying I'm overreacting and should've been more understanding, but I honestly feel like she d
    via AnxietyGold2676
  • young woman sitting on a sofa and reaching into a pencil case
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • People assured her that she had made the right decision.

    Anxious-Routine-5526 NTA. Your mom can't have it both ways. Either it's still your home, and she has no right to toss your stuff without discussion or warning, or you no longer have a home with her, and you've moved your stuff accordingly.
    via Anxious-Routine-5526
  • filopie28 This! You did what she asked.
    via filopie28
  • blackdogreddog Couldn't have said it better. NTA
    via blackdogreddog
  • Less-Quality6326 NTA Go back and take something she REALLY VALUES - maybe even a couple things to really drive the point home Tell her she can have it back when you get your grandfathers guitar back And your other stuff too Or file a police report for theft but you probably won't get your stuff back
    via Less-Quality6326
  • Latter-Parsley-1195 Honestly, hitting her where it hurts might just make her realize how you feel. You deserve your things back...
    via Latter-Parsley-1195
  • victrin NTA. She enjoys the control. You quickly broke her of that. I'm certain she's going through something, but that doesn't mean she gets to be cruel. Your family members are enabling bad behavior.
    via victrin
  • Barsk-Brunkage Well your mom could learn a valuable lesson here. Watch how you word something, if you dont want people to do exactly what you tell them. She told you what to do - and you did it.
    via Barsk-Brunkage
  • RadiantFernBabe NTA. Your mom treated your belongings and your space as if they had no value just because you're in college. That wasn't "cleaning," it was a total disregard for your autonomy and sentimental items. You set a boundary by leaving and protecting what was left. She's only upset because she lost control, not because she cares how you feel. You didn't abandon her... you're just refusing to be disrespected
    via RadiantFernBabe
  • WorriedPersonality36 She literally told you not to keep your stuff there anymore if you didn't want her to get rid of it. What did she think that meant? You keep your stuff WHERE you live. So she essentially telling you "move out or I'll get rid of stuff" You called her bluff. And now she's acting like a little immature baby about it. NTA. You taught her the most valuable lesson a person can learn: "fuck around and find out."
    via WorriedPersonality36
  • PM_ME_YER_MUDFLAPS If your story is true, NTA. There are plenty of women who didn't have control of their lives that seem to want to have petty control later. An understandable reaction, but still something that perpetuates generational issues. Looking at you my fellow Southerners
    via PM_ME_YER_MUDFLAPS
  • DaemonNoire NTA You are well away from that situation. She told you who she was and then got upset when you believed her. My mother pulled something very similar when I was in college and also got her feelings hurt when I moved out. 25 years later and the behavior hasn't improved. Protect yourself, protect your stuff, and never let her have access to your storage unit in any way.
    via DaemonNoire
  • RefrigeratorRare4463 NTA parents that do stuff like this are despicable.
    via RefrigeratorRare4463
  • Mundane_Bike_912 Nta Group chat with the family, ask them where's all these things, in particular the guitar. They will either manipulate you or turn on mum.
    via Mundane_Bike_912
  • Late-Caterpillar-321 She literally told you that you don't actually live there, that it's not your house, and she does not want your belongings there. So you found somewhere to live and she gets all of her space back, like she wanted. The end. NTA. (Sympathies, though, that really sucks. She sounds like a complete narcissist.)
    via Late-Caterpillar-321
  • Ruebee90 NTA!!! Your mom crossed a line!
    via Ruebee90
  • Doggedart Mom: "You don't live here. Don't leave your stuff here or I'll get rid of it." OP moves out and takes their stuff. Mom: "How could you abandon me? Waaaah!" Reddit: NTA
    via Doggedart
  • Conscious-Big707 I don't understand why she's upset. She is the one who said you don't live here. Nta
    via Conscious-Big707
  • Party-Mycologist-914 ugh that 'abandoning' bs is such gaslighting. you did the right thing"
    via Party-Mycologist-914

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Tags

family drama family aita belongings give away house reddit thread daughter Reddit mom college student entitled people vacation moving out
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