Thanksgiving guest sends a bill to his daughter-in-law who hosted dinner, claiming he spent more money on supplies, she adamantly refuses: ‘His father DIDN'T host!'

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Dec 2, 2024 2:00 PM EST

If you have a normal, run-of-the-mill family, the holiday season is likely a polarizing time for the entire group. While we love our in-laws, siblings, cousins, and parents, spending any length of time together reminds us why we moved out in the first place the day we turned 18 years old. So when we're all gathered to enjoy a single meal every year–Thanksgiving–you might be prepared to see some feathers fly. 

Bear witness to some gobbling and some squabbling that totally out-does your family drama at home–behold, the tales of u/Sad_Inspection_7004 on that fateful night in November (last Thursday). 

After agreeing to host Thanksgiving dinner for their families, this young couple was excited to carry out long-standing traditions by cooking multiple dishes side-by-side with their in-laws. They bought turkey, drinks, pies, green beans, and a whole multitude of delicious appetizers, but when the father-in-law insisted on cooking 8 different casserole dishes in addition, things got a little dicey at the end of the night. Keep scrolling for the audacious tale of a family split over splitting the bill when the FIL essentially invoiced his daughter-in-law for reimbursement on cooking supplies… In her own kitchen!

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10436184320
    via SolStock

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for not splitting the surprise Thanksgiving bill? Not the A-he This year my FIL suggested we host thanksgiving. We live in a different state and never spend thanksgiving with them but we
    via Sad_Inspection_7004
  • 03
    now live in between him and my bil's family, so it made sense and since we now have a little more space- we agreed. It was 12 people in total, including my other adult brotherinlaw and sister.
    via Sad_Inspection_7004
  • 04
    For the thanksgiving menu, my inlaws wanted to make EIGHT casseroles. We wanted to make green beans, mashed potatoes, and of course a turkey. We gently suggested that would be a lot to do in our kitchen but they were adamant saying everyone would be disappointed and they were part of their family traditions.
    via Sad_Inspection_7004
  • 05
    We bought the turkey, lots of drinks, green beans, mashed potato stuff, pies, odds and ends, etc. They bought a lot of casserole ingredients but kept complaining they'd go bad. Which is unfortunate. We did use some of their butter, but they
    via Sad_Inspection_7004
  • 06
    used a lot of our seasonings etc. I didn't really pay attention to what they used because why would I? FIL kept going to the store and getting random sh and a lot of it never got used/wasn't needed/was wrong stuff.
    via Sad_Inspection_7004
  • 07
    Including a whole pineapple peeler thing, and stuff for caramel apples. Kind of weird, but you know, that's not my business. Except, tonight, as ONE of my bils was getting ready to leave,
    via Sad_Inspection_7004
  • 08
    he pulls him and my husband aside and says that due to high costs of hosting etc they could all three split the bill and he'd be sending out the receipts for reimbursement on venmo. My husband's mouth dropped in surprise. His bil kind of
    via Sad_Inspection_7004
  • 09
    awkwardly said that since he wasn't able to contribute a dish (long travel and got in late at night), he'd be happy to send some. He seemed to think it was to help his kid brother (my husband) out, and didn't realize it I was for his father who DIDN'T host.
    via Sad_Inspection_7004
  • 10
    After BIL left, I was in the kitchen cleaning (and typically I do let my husband handle his own family stuff) when fil started packing up ingredients and explaining to my husband he would exclude a drink from the "bill".
    via Sad_Inspection_7004
  • 11
    I then broke my cardinal rule and said "This is very different than in my family. In my family contributions are always viewed as the dishes you contribute and everything is established ahead of time." He said "we just thought
    via Sad_Inspection_7004
  • 12
    everyone could contribute" and I pointed out that everyone would include all the people and not just my husband, him, and ONE bil splitting it (all the married men).
    via Sad_Inspection_7004
  • 13
    It then got really awkward. And he kept going on about how much money groceries were. AITA for not splitting the Thanksgiving bill?
    via Sad_Inspection_7004
  • 14
    XCVGVCX INFO. I'm honestly struggling to understand the situation- you hosted (and bought a good bit of the food), one of the guests bought some of the other food and then handed you a bill citing the high cost of hosting?
    via XCVGVCX
  • 15
    Sad Inspection_7004 OP Yes, although the guest (my father in law) was staying with us and insisted on cooking (well his wife cooking) 8 casseroles (which sadly, were barely touched).
    via Sad_Inspection_7004
  • 16
    XCVGVCX Yeah, NTA. It is a mismatch of expectations, but I'm finding it hard to consider theirs reasonable at all, and this definitely should have been worked out beforehand and not just dropped on you like that.
    via XCVGVCX
  • 17
    JolyonFolkett Did they take the casseroles home? You basically bought their groceries for 2 weeks. And hosted them and provided a roast turkey dinner and drinks. Sucker. If your paying 1/3 keep 2 of the casseroles that nobody asked for.
    via JolyonFolkett
  • 18
    Mable Shwartz Yeah, he was trying to subsidize his meal prep for the month.
    via Mable_Shwartz
  • 19
    NotExactlyNapalm ΝΤΑ. He bought it, he pays for it. His problem. Unless it was clearly stated ahead of time, it's not your responsibility. You are right to refuse to split.
    via NotExactlyNapalm

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