Thanksgiving guest sends a bill to his daughter-in-law who hosted dinner, claiming he spent more money on supplies, she adamantly refuses: ‘His father DIDN'T host!'

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    AITA for not splitting the surprise Thanksgiving bill? Not the A-he This year my FIL suggested we host thanksgiving. We live in a different state and never spend thanksgiving with them but we
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    now live in between him and my bil's family, so it made sense and since we now have a little more space- we agreed. It was 12 people in total, including my other adult brotherinlaw and sister.
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    For the thanksgiving menu, my inlaws wanted to make EIGHT casseroles. We wanted to make green beans, mashed potatoes, and of course a turkey. We gently suggested that would be a lot to do in our kitchen but they were adamant saying everyone would be disappointed and they were part of their family traditions.
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    We bought the turkey, lots of drinks, green beans, mashed potato stuff, pies, odds and ends, etc. They bought a lot of casserole ingredients but kept complaining they'd go bad. Which is unfortunate. We did use some of their butter, but they
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    used a lot of our seasonings etc. I didn't really pay attention to what they used because why would I? FIL kept going to the store and getting random sh and a lot of it never got used/wasn't needed/was wrong stuff.
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    Including a whole pineapple peeler thing, and stuff for caramel apples. Kind of weird, but you know, that's not my business. Except, tonight, as ONE of my bils was getting ready to leave,
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    he pulls him and my husband aside and says that due to high costs of hosting etc they could all three split the bill and he'd be sending out the receipts for reimbursement on venmo. My husband's mouth dropped in surprise. His bil kind of
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    awkwardly said that since he wasn't able to contribute a dish (long travel and got in late at night), he'd be happy to send some. He seemed to think it was to help his kid brother (my husband) out, and didn't realize it I was for his father who DIDN'T host.
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    After BIL left, I was in the kitchen cleaning (and typically I do let my husband handle his own family stuff) when fil started packing up ingredients and explaining to my husband he would exclude a drink from the "bill".
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    I then broke my cardinal rule and said "This is very different than in my family. In my family contributions are always viewed as the dishes you contribute and everything is established ahead of time." He said "we just thought
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    everyone could contribute" and I pointed out that everyone would include all the people and not just my husband, him, and ONE bil splitting it (all the married men).
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    It then got really awkward. And he kept going on about how much money groceries were. AITA for not splitting the Thanksgiving bill?
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    XCVGVCX INFO. I'm honestly struggling to understand the situation- you hosted (and bought a good bit of the food), one of the guests bought some of the other food and then handed you a bill citing the high cost of hosting?
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    Sad Inspection_7004 OP Yes, although the guest (my father in law) was staying with us and insisted on cooking (well his wife cooking) 8 casseroles (which sadly, were barely touched).
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    XCVGVCX Yeah, NTA. It is a mismatch of expectations, but I'm finding it hard to consider theirs reasonable at all, and this definitely should have been worked out beforehand and not just dropped on you like that.
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    JolyonFolkett Did they take the casseroles home? You basically bought their groceries for 2 weeks. And hosted them and provided a roast turkey dinner and drinks. Sucker. If your paying 1/3 keep 2 of the casseroles that nobody asked for.
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    Mable Shwartz Yeah, he was trying to subsidize his meal prep for the month.
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    NotExactlyNapalm ΝΤΑ. He bought it, he pays for it. His problem. Unless it was clearly stated ahead of time, it's not your responsibility. You are right to refuse to split.

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