Woman offends family by refusing to eat late mother-in-law's 1-year-old Thanksgiving casserole: 'There's no way a frozen casserole could last a year'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Dec 2, 2024 1:00 PM EST

Food can be an incredibly sentimental thing, especially when it is mixed with family. Almost anybody who can cook has a recipe or several that was passed down to them by an older relative, and even if those who steer clear of the kitchen they likely have fond memories of something that grandma used to make.

Generally speaking, once a relative who is a good cook passes away one of two things happens: others start cooking their recipes, or they get lost to time. It's not so often that you keep a favorite meal on ice until the time is right, like Karen's ziti in The Sopranos. The main reason for this is it might not be so fresh by the time you get around to eating it. 

Nonetheless, that's exactly what one woman's sister-in-law did with her late mom's sweet potato casserole this Thanksgiving, and she wasn't pleased when not everybody partook in the dish that was believed to have been languishing in her freezer for a year. However, there was more to the story than that.

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  • 02
    AITA for not eating a Thanksgiving dish I suspect it was made last year?
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  • 03
    Long time lurker, first time poster but I'm so baffled about this situation I need a non biased perspective. My husband and I (30ish) have a quite large family: his parents, his 2 siblings plus spouses and kids; my divorced parents and their new spouses, plus my siblings and their spouses and kids.
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  • 04
    All together we are well over 20 people so family gatherings can be overwhelming for the person hosting. (And yes, my divorced parents and their new spouses get along fine and there's no drama.) Last night we celebrated Thanksgiving and as a family tradition everyone brings a dish. Usually we communicate with each other so that way everyone is making different types of food. My sister-in-law (wife of my brother) said that she was going to bring her mom's famous sweet potato casserole. I thought
    via TheUniMermaid
  • 05
    Once Thanksgiving was over, my mother called me saying that my SIL was upset because she noticed I didn't try her dish. I told my mother about my fears and she said that I'm just to picky with food and there's no way a frozen casserole could last a year without having mold. I pointed that the several containers could mean she cut the "good parts" and left the moldy ones. After an awkward silence, we decided to agree to disagree and hang up. I feel bad for my SIL but I truly could not bring mysel
    via TheUniMermaid
  • 06
    bujomomo NTA. Let's say for argument's sake that the casserole was made yesterday, on Thanksgiving. If you just decided you didn't want sweet potato casserole, you'd still be in this situation and you'd still be justified in not eating it. Either way, the person who made the dish should not be closely monitoring who took some. That's very strange. Eat what you want to eat at these types of gatherings.
    via bujomomo
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    Enough-Process9773 NTA The whole point of a big meal with multiple dishes is that you don't have to eat from every dish if you don't want to. Reasons for not doing so do not need to be given.
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  • 08
    pizzasauce85 Yesterday, I had rolls, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, pecan pie, pumpkin pie, apple pie, green bean casserole, orange jello salad, turkey, ham, water, coke, broccoli cheese rice, and mashed potatoes I did not eat any tofurkey, cheesy peas, vegetarian stuffing, banana pudding, chips with dip, baked beans, ice cream, sweet tea, unsweetened tea, lemonade, Mac and cheese, Hawaiian rolls, and a few other sides I can't recall. No one said a thing to me about what I didn't eat!
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  • 09
    WretchedGibbon Exactly, the fact that they were watching so closely alone suggests that something was sus about it.
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    PerturbedHamster I agree OP is under no obligation to eat the casserole. But, I can't let her off the hook for thinking that mold grows in the freezer. The obvious solution here is that it's a year-old casserole they had to cut into pieces to get into containers they could then freeze. OP, you were an AH for having "concerns" and stopping your husband from having some. You were also an AH for essentially accusing your SIL of bringing moldy food to Thanksgiving. It may have been freezer burned/no
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    Rougefarie Yuuup. It's fine to be excited about sharing a particular dish, but you should be willing to accept people might not like what you make. I'm thrilled to feed people, but I built "my feelings aren't hurt" into my vocabulary for this kind of situation.
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    Urbanyeti0 Frozen food doesn't grow mould, but if it was dry it could well have had freezer burns that were cut off NTA you don't have to eat anyone else's food
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    dragonetta123 You are entitled not to eat anything you don't want to. However, I suspect you may have made assumptions and, rather than ask to establish something, you have spread within the group (even one person is spreading it and runs the risk of it being overheard and/or getting back to the person) that it was leftovers that shouldn't be eaten and as a result managed to deliberately offend someone. For that you don't need to apologise.
    via dragonetta123
  • 14
    When I make something, I don't bring it in a big pan/pot because the ex professional chef in me (who taught food hygiene and marked assessments for individual certification) finds it hard to store at home in the fridge, and then transport whilst guarenteeing no cross contamination, so I use tupperware style containers, and yes, I have been known to use different sizes to fit a dish in. I also have pyrex dishes that are ovensafe that have plastic lids to use when cool that i use instead of my big
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    Dakotasunsets These were my thoughts. Was most likely just multiple dishes for transport. Op is NTA for not eating a dish she doesn't want to consume. She is one, though, for automatically assuming that the dish was frozen just because it "looked dry" and was placed in multiple containers.
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  • 16
    a_Moa You're NTA for not eating something, no one can force you to do that. You're kinda ride for spreading rumours based off of weird assumptions. 1. Frozen food doesn't go mouldy. It's preserved as long as it's frozen. Once it's defrosted normal food safe rules apply. 2. You have no idea if it was leftovers. 3. Even if it was, there's nothing wrong with leftovers. Isn't this weird American holiday all about leftovers?? If you wholly believe that eating frozen leftovers is unsafe you're an idio
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    dazechong You're not the ah for not eating the casserole, but YTA for spreading your assumption among other guests based on a ... well, assumption. As other people have pointed out, mold doesn't form when frozen.
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    Expensive Visual_594 I would not have eaten it either. Not a chance. It's odd that something wouldn't come in one dish.
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  • 19
    LittleFairyOfDeath Honestly YTA. Not for not eating it. That is your choice. But you basically spread rumors without knowing, you caused your husband to also not eat it and all of this about your frankly wrong ideas about freezer food. Storing leftovers for a year is absolutely no big deal. The quality may be a bit worse, but in no way unsafe.
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  • 20
    KrofftSurvivor NTA - It's weird to be upset because not everyone tried her particular dish, and it's also weird that your mother felt the need to call you and complain to you for sil?!? Why are some people so controlling about what other people eat, yeesh.
    via KrofftSurvivor
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    Retropiaf YTA, not for skipping the dish but for the reason you gave to your mom. The assumption you made about the dish was both extreme and insulting of your SIL's character and sanity. I'm not saying your suspicion is definitely wrong, but it certainly doesn't come out as a particularly reasonable or rational conclusion. The fact that this scenario is not even just a thought you entertained in passing, but a possibility you still consider likely in hindsight, suggests that you hold your SIL i
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    I'm a bit of a paranoid person myself, so I'm not judging you for coming up with such a disturbing scenario in your head, but sharing these kind of thoughts is just not socially acceptable. Most people wouldn't come up with such a messed up suspicion, partially due to a lack of imagination but also because baseless accusations tend to reflect more on the accuser than the accused. If other people can look at the same series of facts without ever even considering the conclusion you reached, it sug
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    Update:

    Update to my post. After spending my whole morning reading and answering your comments I decided to pass by my mother's house and have an in person talk with her. I read her some of the comments on the original post and she thinks the Internet is a strange place. We agreed I can always come and tell her what I think truthfully. She has not talked to anyone else in the family about the "Yam debacle." We decided to call my brother and ask if we can go to his house and have a talk with him and my S
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  • 24
    Long story short. They were indeed leftovers just not a year old. I guess sometime before her passing, SIL and her mom had made several family recipes as a bonding experience. The casserole was one of the staple recipes and my SiL had froze several containers of it. On thanksgiving week, she thawed some of it and tried to replicate the taste without luck. I guess the pressure of making it for us got the best of her and she got more and more frustrated as the date approached. On Thursday, she fin
    via TheUniMermaid
  • 25
    I apologized and told her I was really sorry that I hurt her feelings. She apologized for singling me out. We told her to rest and in the meantime me, my mother and brother we cleaned the kitchen, tidy the house and Mom made her a soup (Ajiaco, if you know, you know.) My mom decided to stay but I left a bit after everything was done and everyone was calm. As a goodwill gesture I'm getting my SIL a mini spa day that I think she will enjoy and help her feel better. So that's pretty much it, no big
    via TheUniMermaid
  • 26
    Thank you all for your opinions. I will be more thoughtful of peoples feelings but I still will not eat something I don't want to just to please someone. No reports that anyone got sick, btw. Lastly, Does my mother think frozen food can get moldy? She claims she said it in the heat of the moment and because I was annoying her. She knows cooking is not my forte so she thought I had no good comeback to that. I opened her freezer and there's only meat and ice cream. So... who knows at this point?
    via TheUniMermaid

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aita thanksgiving meal husband sister in law mother in law gross food family food eating reddit thread Reddit mom casserole
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