Roommate leaves window open while it's snowing outside sparking disagreement over heating costs: 'We've had the heat on high this whole time'

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    AITA for asking my roommate to close her window when it's snowing and our heat is on? I (F20) live with three other girls -Liz (F21), Kenzie (F20), and another roommate. Liz and I have been friends for eight years, but as roommates, we're not compatible. Kenzie and I are moving out next year, which upset Liz so much that she ignored us for three months over the summer. When school started, Liz and I agreed to be civil.
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    During Thanksgiving break, Liz left for the week, but before she did, I noticed her window was wide open. It had been snowing, and the temperature was 30-40 degrees. We had the heat running, and if I hadn't seen it, her window would've stayed open all week, wasting heat and raising our bill.
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    I texted her: "hey I noticed ur window was open, idk how long you've had it open for, but please be mindful of it because we've had the heat on high this whole time so that makes the heat run extra which makes our bill higher."
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    She replied: "Ok it's a little hard to stay mindful of it when you guys change the heat and not tell me though. I thought the air was still off so idk what 'this whole time' is but sorry for the inconvenience."
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    I sent a screenshot showing I had informed the group chat when I turned the heat on. She responded: "I love the screenshot proof thank you!" I thought her tone was snarky, but I let it go. Within a minute, Liz texted Kenzie saying she wouldn't come to Friendsgiving, seemingly over the window text.
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    After break, I did all the dishes, including hers and her boyfriend's, as we all share the chore (except Liz). Later, I cooked, and throughout the day, my roommates added dishes to the sink, so it filled up.
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    While I was grocery shopping, Liz sent a group chat message with a photo of rice in the sink and wrote: "Just another reminder to please stop putting food in the nongarbage disposal side of the sink. It's very frustrating coming home to a full sink and with all of this gunk in there!!!!" Liz rarely texts the group chat, and her tone felt r de, especially since she never does dishes herself.
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    When I came home, I noticed a large trash bag on the counter but didn't pay attention to it. I put away my groceries and went upstairs. As I did, Liz's boyfriend said, "That was gold," about me.
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    I told my boyfriend, and he was so upset he came over to confront Liz's boyfriend for being ride. They argued for about 15 minutes while I stayed in my room.
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    Later, my other roommate got home and inspected the trash bag. It was full of dirty dishes (less than 24 hours old) with a note that said, "needed sink room to do dishes!" Liz and her boyfriend had dumped all the shared dishes (dirty water included) into the bag and left it on the counter. The worst part? Liz and her boyfriend didn't even clean their own dishes, leaving them in the sink. Did my initial window text really warrant all of this? AITA?
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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a h le: Am I the a h le for texting my roommate to keep her window closed when the heat is on?
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    gl00sen 3h ago NTA, Liz is creating a toxic home environment. I understand feeling left out because your friends decided to move without you but that is entirely her fault for being a poor roommate and is typically something that would spur self-growth. Seems like she's doubling down and inflicting as much turmoil as possible as vengeance. She needs to take a massive step back and I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to cut off the friendship completely after moving out.
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    M3h ago Edited 3h ago NTA. Your text did nothing but remind her that she needed to be aware of what is going on and her irresponsibility can cause the bills to go higher. She was angry that you called her out and then showed proof. Since she is becoming so unbearable, you may need to start looking to break your lease. Check with your landlord, talk to you other room mates, then start putting an ad that your room is for rent. You can find a someone to take over your room and share of the expenses
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    Extra_Measur... . 3h ago NTA. I'd be so petty as to send an invoice for the cost of all the dishes she threw out. And if she didn't then I'd take her to court. Yes I'm that petty and don't care. Stop doing her and her bfs dishes. Raises the bill...does she not pay the bill as well? And I bet she wonders why you guys chose to move out without her after her grain of rice comment I would've responded "don't put dishes in the sink you're not going to clean yourself!!!!"
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    סם the-benn-exp... 3h ago. NTA. Sadly, a friendship ruined by cohabitation is a tale as old as time. I think for your inner peace you should just have minimal contact with this roommate. I think the reminder texts (while not a bad thing for roommates who actually get along) are having the opposite effect, where your roomie is retaliating against you. So I don't think I would continue reminding someone who knows they are being inconsiderate. Just try to get by as comfortably as you can until you'
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    StAlvis 2h ago NTA it's a little hard to stay mindful of it when you guys change the heat and not tell me though IT'S SNOWING.
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    cutielauraaa 3h ago • Not gonna lie, Liz sounds like the final boss of passive-aggressive roommates. Open window in the snow dishes in the trash, snarky texts... she's completing the checklist. But her dragging her boyfriend into it? That's DLC-level pettiness. You're NTA, just unlucky to be in a sitcom plotline.
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    momyeeter . 3h ago • NTA - so there's 2 types of people: ones who know when the heat is on, and ones who don't. Her behavior has been childish and irresponsible from the start - Assuming you're in the northern hemisphere, it gets cold in November. Regardless of the heat being on, windows should be closed when it's cold out.
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    That's not a new thing that someone should be learning at this stage in their life. She is wayyy out of bounds for throwing a fit about an open window that you closed for her. My opinion is that her boyfriend has a large hand in this. If you want to confront Liz about her behavior, you need to go scorched earth on his trash-a first. Talk to the other roommates about making him persona-non-grata.
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    Igethisnow . 3h ago NTA. You informed her you were turning on the heat, and reminded her to close her window. You did nothing wrong. I will say, the "Please be mindful" part of the text could be interpreted as passive aggressive but that has nothing to do with the fact that you're 100% right.
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    amyb10045 • 3h ago. NTA and this reminded me why I absolutely HATED having roommates. I had a similar situation with a great friend I roomed with. She ended up doing stupid crp like assigning us sides to the sink because she refused to do any dish but her own. And assigning shelves in the fridge because ONE TIME I had
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    something that apparently spilled when she opened the door and she decided that my food couldn't mingle with hers. I admit that perhaps in my 20's I didn't keep an immaculate space. But I was also hardly ever there, rarely had dishes in the sink and rarely even bought my groceries because I ate out a lot. It's all petty BS. I think your text was fine, when the temps get low it's
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    basically common sense to keep windows closed. Whether she knew what the heat was set at or if it was on. If it's 30 degrees outside you don't leave for a weekend and leave a window open.
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    Adorable_Ask... . 3h ago Take your dirty dishes out of the trash bag and put theirs in the bag while you wash only yours.
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    Boring-Interes... · 2h ago • You're moving out anyways. Why be the better person here. I would have already thrown her dirty dishes on her bed.
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    hecatesdawg • 2h ago the icing on all of this was when they put others plates in trash bags and left their own in the sink. you're obviously nta
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    Used-Equivale... 3h ago. NTA obviously. I mean, what can you do with an immature child? At this point, since your friendship is long over, I would tell her parents that she's not old enough to live alone yet and is throwing tantrums like am entitled toddler who doesn't know how to process feelings or accept responsibility for her inconsiderate f ups and list every unreasonable things she's done.

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