‘She and l are like oil and water’: Mom relentlessly disrespects daughter's smile during a holiday family photo, daughter bails on family dinner to escape her wrath

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Dec 8, 2024 10:00 AM EST

The holiday season insists that folks with families who constantly argue, continue arguing throughout the festive time of year. We don't make the rules, the holiday gods do.

If you have a family who's keen on kicking you while you're down, we're sure you relate to the original poster of this next story. Entitled parents always have something to say about how we dress, what we do for work, how we parent, or even how we smile. If they can't dictate what we do, they sure as heck will ridicule how we do it. If you're one of the lucky ones with families who treat you with respect, you're in for a wild ride.

The woman in this story was going out to a family dinner with her parents, husband, and children when they stopped to take a family photo in front of some Christmas decor. It's important to mention that she claims she and her mother never saw eye-to-eye, but her mother takes it to the next level when she repeatedly ridicules the way she smiles in a family photo. Even after the woman tries to diffuse the situation, her mother won't let up. Looks like nobody will have a happy family dinner!

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    via Unsplash+ (Kateryna Hliznitsova)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    AITA for ruining our family dinner after a comment about my smile?
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    We're currently on a family vacation. Myself, husband, two kids and my parents. A little background... my mother is odd and my dad has commented as long as I can remember that she
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    and I are like oil and water. I can't even put her oddness completely into words, other than to say she feels competitive over my father's attention- not even with just me, but also with her grandsons. If my
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    father wants to read them a story, or tuck them in bed, she interrupts and tells him it's time for him to go to sleep?? It's incredibly cringy to watch.
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    The other pertinent fact is that I have chronic pain- every avenue has been exhausted, my successful career is gone, but my mother always downplays it acting like I just have a
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    little headache when she knows that I am never not in pain. In contrast, she is constantly looking for a reason to see a new doctor- every tiny twinge is the end of the world for her.
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    So tonight we were set to go out for our first family dinner.. We get to the lobby, everyone's dressed. up and it's decorated for Christmas, so I'm getting. pictures. I finally ask my
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    dad if he would take a picture of our family of 4. As we're posing with our children in front, I see my mother go right up next to my dad and yell out, "Stop that! You need to fix your smile."
    via Chickens_n_Kittens
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    I honestly think she's talking to one of our boys. Since I can't see their faces, I add in, "ok, nice smiles". However, my mom interjects again, "No, you, (my name)! Your smile is
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    horrible! It looks like <she takes her fingers, puts them on each side of her mouth and pulls one up and one down while tilting her head>!" I'm honestly baffled as I am genuinely
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    smiling. I realize that my smile probably doesn't extend up to my eyes like it used to as a result of the pain, but she's acting like I was doing a goofy face. I go to reset and she once again yells, "Stop making
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    that face!" At this point I'm angry. I leave the pose, get the phone from my dad, pick up my purse and start walking towards the restaurant. But she's not done. She hurries after me
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    and continues to tell me how I need to look at the photos to see how awful my smile was. I did. It was not! There was NOTHING wrong with the picture! The fact that she kept
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    going on and on justifying her actions, I was finally just done. I stopped walking, told my husband I'm sorry but I'm going to go back to the room and that he and the kids can
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    go to dinner without me. I was on fire with anger which gave way to tears as soon as I was out of her presence. So in her mind (and maybe everyone else's) I'm the one who ruined dinner,
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    and I probably did... I should be able to just let her words roll off me. I feel such a shell of my former self from everything I've lost to this devouring pain- now I can't even smile
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    correctly! However, I'm pretty sure I'm being TA to the people I love the most and that makes the whole thing even worse.
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    BabserellaWT • 3h ago NTA my mother is odd You spelled "needy and narcissistic" wrong.
    via BabserellaWT
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    EJ_1004 • 4h ago NTA Not everything needs to be commented on. Your Mom is being a ole in all the worst ways. I'm sure your smile was beautiful. Don't allow her to
    via EJ_1004
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    dim your light. I AM noticing that your Mom is the only antagonizer in this story. If this is common behavior for her I highly recommend taking a break from her to see how you feel without her around.
    via EJ_1004
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    It might be difficult and it there may complain about it, but having mental peace can contribute to your overall happiness.
    via EJ_1004

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toxic relationships feud family drama holiday season mothers toxic mother moms reddit story family feud family photo family photos family family portrait subreddit reddit thread toxic mom Reddit mom toxic relationship holidays happy holidays
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