26-year-old woman asks out her 'never been kissed' male friend after weeks of him complaining about being single, rejects her and makes fun of her with his male friends: 'I have found him cute for months yet he thinks he's ugly'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 7, 2024 9:00 PM EST

People discuss the "male loneliness epidemic" from so many different angles. It's easy for some to blame the poor social skills and introverted tendencies of Generation Z men on them not being able to find a partner. Some might argue that framing this as a problem that harms men only downplays the difficulty all single people face in dating in the digital age. Some wholeheartedly believe in the tenets of incel ideology: that women are hypergamous and only want to date the hottest men in the world, while normies get cheated on and ugly guys stay alone forever. This conversation has a lot of nuance, and none of it gets solved by assuming the worst of any one gender. 

A Gen-Z woman consciously tried to help solve the male loneliness epidemic by asking out her lonely male friend, whom she'd been eyeing for a while. When he rejected her, she took to Reddit to share her complex feelings.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10438532864
    via Haley Rivera

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (F26) followed internet advice and asked out my "lonely" zoomer best friend (M25). He rejected me.
    via u/Present-Elephant-575
  • 03
    A few days ago, I saw a post about Gen Z men being single and lonely. I commented on my main that my best friend was a really good guy yet a single - virgin and the internet gave me the courage to ask him out. "Take initiative" they said.
    via u/Present-Elephant-575
  • 04
    For context, we're college friends and he's in my same classes. We have coffee sometimes and buddies in common. I asked him out today and he said NO because I am "not his type".
    via u/Present-Elephant-575
  • 05
    His type being someone along the lines. of Pokimane. I am 5'9 and around 160lbs (taller and heavier than him). I can't hold a candle to a pretty streamer. Mind you, he's been posting for weeks about being "depressed" that he has no one for "cuffing season".
    via u/Present-Elephant-575
  • 06
    Can't deny I cried. I have found him cute for months yet he thinks he's ugly and doesn't take me seriously. It's NOT my first time being rejected but I truly did everything the "lonely men" said they dreamed of; bought him lunch, made it private, didn't emasculate him. What now? Do I turn into a bitter incel, like he does when rejected? You can't blame "feminism" on this one.
    via u/Present-Elephant-575
  • 07
    His OTHER friends apparently already know because he told them (those guys are also all single...) and they basically joked around that none of them would reject the gooner life for someone like me. What happened to hating OF? You aren't desperate for a GF. You are desperate for a hot girl to bang. Sorry I am mid.
    via u/Present-Elephant-575
  • 08
    Vladishun I'm starting to think my 39M best friend is like this. He and his fiance split up about 7 years ago now. She was petite, 5'3 or so, 120 lbs'ish. Since then he's been on one date and rejects most of the women that approach him on dating apps. The ones he's interested in though, end up being ones that look like egirls or Instagram influencers, but they either won't talk to him or he can't keep a conversation going with them.
    via u/Vladishun
  • 09
    I don't really believe in "leagues", and physical attraction is a big component to any successful relationship, but at some point you've gotta realize that if you won't adjust your perspective then you can't really whine and moan. about being lonely. In your friend's case, he has the expectation that all women should look like models and won't change his perspective for anything. It's an unrealistic expectation, I wonder if he realizes Pokimane doesn't have permanent eyeliner and she'd look a lo
    via u/Vladishun
  • 10
    MyHusbandlsGayImNot Does your friend put effort into his appearance or does he just expect the woman to be the hot one?
    via u/MyHusbandlsGayImNot
  • 11
    Salt Specialist_3206 • 23h ago Top 1% Commenter • This narrative that all men would be happy with any woman asking them out is such a lie. I've approached men and have been rejected, as well. And that's okay. You don't have to date someone you don't want to date. No one owes anyone a relationship. But I'm glad you took initiative! Good work.
    via u/Salt_Specialist_3206
  • 12
    BigLorry Turns out generalizations are dumb! Who knew
    via u/BigLorry
  • 13
    Present-Elephant-575 OP Thank you. Gosh, thank you! Most guys that rejected me were based on height, even if I offered to take off my high heels for them. "Men only care about personality and loyalty" my a.
    via u/Present-Elephant-575
  • 14
    rick_hardcore All men are (usually) happy with being approached but that doesn't mean we're always going to say yes lol
    via u/rick_hardcore
  • 15
    The_2nd_Coming You played your shot. The ball was in his court and he didn't return it. Not your problem. At least you know he's not interested now. His confidence isn't your problem to solve. Move on and live your best life.
    via u/The_2nd_Coming
  • 16
    grabtharsmallet • 19h ago A friend of mine is a therapist. A single male client told him about difficulty finding the right person to date, so they put together a list of everything he was looking for in a woman. Then my friend read the list back and asked him, "What does her list look like?" The client realized he needed to make some changes, both to himself and to his wish list.
    via u/grabtharsmallet
  • 17
    cpMetis Doesn't even need to be a therapist. That's just a great exercise. Done it with some bros before. Realize you can't match the standards of who you want then help each other wittle it down - both isolate what you need to focus on yourself, and help understand what you truly want from the other side.
    via u/cpMetis
  • 18
    One of my mates ended up with a GF he still has 2 years later after one of these. Helped motivate him to drop the (overuse of) vaping and help him realize he was letting his parents have too much influence on his standards.
    via u/cpMetis
  • 19
    GB819 • 23h ago Being told no is better than being left hanging or ambiguous. You can pick up and move on.
    via u/GB819
  • 20
    Present-Elephant-575 OP • 23h ago You're right. I rather be ditched than left in a "situationship."
    via u/Present-Elephant-575
  • 21
    Spiritdefective That isn't your best friend, if a guy cares about you as a friend he wouldn't make fun of you like that or stand for his other friends doing so, he'd let you down gently and move on, this dude sounds horrible
    via u/Spiritdefective
  • 22
    Keellas_Ahullford This exactly, I would never dream of treating my friends like this if they confessed having feelings for me, regardless of how I felt about them. This guy is not a real friend to her
    via u/Keellas_Ahullford
  • 23
    rubyjohn1109 22h ago Babe I understand where you're coming from completely but like... read what you write. Cause while I think you mean "Guys (on Reddit) usually say they want a woman and that it's so easy for women and then deny women who aren't conventionally attractive" It sounds like "This loner male denied me even though I'm a good girl who bought him food and gave him compliments, see these men are trash" which is nuts and basically incel talking points.
    via u/rubyjohn1109
  • 24
    Even the first statement is kinda nuts, not because it doesn't contain SOME (I go hard for understanding women's difficulties with dating) truths but more so because it makes broad generalizations based on feelings. I know it seems rough now but a picky man is WAYYY better than one who will accept anything cause that type of man will still dump you if he thinks he can do better. All feelings are valid, but not every feeling is reasonable.
    via u/rubyjohn1109
  • 25
    Matsisuu Well, not everyone who you like likes you. Sad as it is, there is nothing you can do about it, other than try again later with other guy.
    via u/Matsisuu

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Tags

single life friendship dating fails single asking out dates friends rejection male loneliness reddit story rejected gen z subreddit reddit thread Reddit lonely dating
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