Boss demands employees provide details about their PTO, forcing them to lie to keep their private life, private: ‘Causes me unnecessary stress’

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    "These are my PTO hours that I earned. I don't think she needs to know what I'm doing”
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    Boss wants to know what I'm doing on PTO
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    My corporate world boss has explicitly said that she needs to know what I'm doing on PTO and where I'll be. I find this too intrusive and stresses me out when planning upcoming PTO
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    because I know I have to give her some sort of answer. On the contrary, she doesn't tell me what she does during her PTO.
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    One time I decided to schedule my PTO by just sending her a calendar invite and not telling her what I was doing, but she reached out to me and reminded me that she needed an explanation of what I was doing for PTO.
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    These are my PTO hours that I earned. I don't think she needs to know what I'm doing. Sometimes I'm ok with telling her what I'm doing, but other times I make up a lie about my specific plans
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    when it's personal. It causes me unnecessary stress and not something I want to cause issues with her over. She isn't a micromanager either. How do I handle this?
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    SimplyG 1d ago • That's a red flag if I've ever seen one. They don't need to know. What you do in your personal time is your own business. If she keeps pushing, best I can suggest is to say it's personal.
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    But I wouldn't want to work for a company/boss like that..... Personally, I'd be on LinkedIn and Indeed right away.
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    mowsemowse ⚫ 1d ago Just tell her there's no requirement for her to know. Then tell her something outrageous in answer every time she asks... "I'm going snorkeling with dinosaurs on the moon"
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    IEnjoy Eating F❤ces • 1d ago • "What am I doing with my PTO? Minding my own business. You should try it"
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    bighark 1d ago • You're right. That's intrusive. A good HR leader would absolutely shut this kind of thing down. Anyway, you have two ways to go:
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    Option #1: Be direct with your boss. Say, "I appreciate your interest, but I'm going to decline to share the details of my plans. What's important is I'll be out from date to date and won't check messages until I return."
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    Option #2: Go to HR. There are a host of reasons why this kind of thing is bad for your company (potential for discrimination and creating a culture of distrust are two big ones), and HR is nothing if not good at protecting the company.
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    Negativeghostrider87 • 1d ago • I never ask my employees because I don't need/want to know but taking it a step further I've trained them all to just say have an appt". If for any reason I need to cover or give a reason to someone else in the company everyone has an appt.
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    castle_waffles .1d ago • Have you asked why she wants to know? (Politely) tbh sounds like you just took up hiking with family and you'll be places your without cell service to me...
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    Locallnactivist • 1d ago • if "I suppose I could tell you required but the workplace being what it is we should have someone from HR in the meeting."
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    ACriticalGeek • 1d ago • "I will be camping and off the grid." Is always the answer to that question.
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    • AmazingEnd5947 1d ago Edited 1d ago • Updated, please. This boss is a bu y/manipulator. You have to stop this right away and the best way you can. Know that we support you. Trust yourself that you will politely and firmly put a stop to this. Your peace of mind depends on it. So, lose the pressure of feeling that you're being disrespectful. Shake this off. Go look in the mirror and role-play telling her the next time she asks, it's none of your business in a most respectful and firm way.
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    JorginJargin • 1d ago • Edited 1d ago They are trying to persuade you to NOT take your PTO. However most of these responses listed in this thread are unprofessional and will only create a bad attitude towards you and impact your career.
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    I do NOT recommend you "tell them to mind their own F*****g business" or to that effect, but rather give them a blanket response they cannot contest or ask for proof from.
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    The best way to respond to these types of inquiries are responses such as "I was contacting my lawyer", or " I was taking family member to their OBGYN appointment" or something to the affect that creates personal issues or embarrassment.
  • 23
    A companies administration will stop asking you what you are doing if they feel they are encroaching upon your personal privacy in a way that is legally actionable. It's sad we have to play this game, but make no mistake, you do have to play.

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