Man Refuses to Drive 7 Hours with a Newborn to Visit In-Laws for Christmas After They Made Him Feel Inadequate for Needing Financial Help, Wife Torn Between Old and New Family

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Dec 19, 2024 5:00 PM EST

Welcome, tea-lovers of the internet. Getting married can seriously complicate holiday traditions. While you may be used to visiting your family for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's, your partner's family is accustomed to having him visit for the holidays. Unless your extended families live in close proximity to each other and are willing to celebrate the holidays together, you will find yourself disappointing eager relatives every year because unfortunately, you cannot be two places at once. 

In our story today, our protagonist — who recently gave birth — is quite set on visiting her side for Christmas. Anxious that it may be the last time she will see her grandparents due to their poor health, she attempts to convince her husband. However, he uses their newborn and the long drive as an excuse to mask the real reason he doesn't want to hang around with her family over the holidays. Find out the real reason he wants to stay home by scrolling down.

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  • 01
    - "My grandparents are not doing well, and this could be the last Christmas we share together possibly the only change they have to meet the baby. I've express this to my husband, but he insists we can plan something else to see them."
    via nadianb
  • 02
    TWO TAKES r/TwoHotTakes u/Caterpillar Visual 307 .7h AITA for not wanting to spend Christmas home?
    via u/CaterpillarVisual307
  • 03
    Hi, my husband and I just had a baby! We have always spent Christmas in another state with my family, but my husband and my family have drifted apart. He doesn't like them anymore because they made him feel inadequate when we needed financial help for a couple of months. Now that Christmas is approaching, he doesn't want to go. He claims it's because of the baby, but I don't believe that.
    via u/CaterpillarVisual307
  • 04
    I truly appreciate that he has spent Christmas with my family since we've been married. My grandparents are not doing well, and this could be the last Christmas we share together-possibly the only chance they have to meet the baby. I've expressed this to my husband, but he insists we can plan something else to see them. However, it doesn't make sense to me. If the main reason he doesn't want to go is the long drive with a baby for seven hours, then how will we manage to visit since they live in
    via u/CaterpillarVisual307
  • 05
    On the other hand, I understand that it's our family now, and he has always made sacrifices for me. Perhaps we should stay home and have our own Christmas. I know my family will be hurt, and my grandparents are really excited to see us and meet the baby. I hate this situation and feel torn between choosing my husband and my family. He's also getting very upset with me over this. ↑ 41 93 D
    via u/CaterpillarVisual307
  • 06
    Fun-Yellow-6576 • 6h Let everyone come to you. ← Reply 24
    via u/Fun-Yellow-6576
  • 07
    Reasonable-Sale8611 • 6h A 7 hour drive with a baby would be torture and not great for the baby either. Why do you care so little about whether or not your husband enjoys Christmas? Your family made him feel small but you still want to make him drive 7 hours each way (it'll be more like 10 with a baby on board) so he can be around people who treat him poorly? Reply 188
    via u/Reasonable-Sale8611
  • 08
    Certain-Try5775 • 6h It's his ego that's hurt. 2ཊཱི,
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  • 09
    Caterpillar Visual307 OP ⚫ 6h Although the drive sounds awful, I would be very upset if I didn't see my grandparents at least once this year and for them to meet our baby and my grandma di . But then you are right my husband would most likely not have fun. They wouldn't be ride to him there but I understand -17
    via u/CaterpillarVisual307
  • 10
    MariaLynd 6h Choose your husband. Reply 45
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  • 11
    Fluffy-Raspberry-673.6h Prioritize your family instead of your extended family. Your family is the 3 of you only. For the good of your baby and husband, you need to stay home this year. Stop trying to force something to happen when it doesn't make sense and will be very stressful. ... Reply 13
    via u/Fluffy-Raspberry-673
  • 12
    Agreeable_Dog_4049.5h I have been in your husbands shoes many times to make my wife happy and I end up feeling miserable. Now I don't have that wife and feel wonderful. Reply 11
    via u/Agreeable_Dog_4049
  • 13
    ghjkl098.6h When you got married, you chose your husband as your family. Even more so when you chose to have a child together. Taking the baby at a different time seems like a reasonable compromise. Reply 44
    via u/ghjkl098
  • 14
    Caterpillar Visual307 OP 6h Yes you are right 87 ♡
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  • 15
    phtcmp. 6h NTA for wanting to continue your traditions, but how is the time to compromise with him and start building YOUR family's tradition. Traveling with small children is not pleasant. When we started our family, my wife and I changed things up and invited parents to visit us at holidays. ← Reply 15 ♡
    via u/phtcmp
  • 16
    Ameanbtch 5h Why does his opinion not matter to you? Why didn't you stick up for him? I wouldn't be driving you 7 hours away either. One Christmas at home isn't unreasonable. It's not just your Christmas Reply
    via u/Ameanbtch
  • 17
    Karamist623.6h YTA. Your husband was made to feel inadequate by YOUR family. You ALWAYS visit YOUR family at Christmas. Have you ever visited his family at Christmas?
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  • 18
    I don't know if you stood up for your husband or not, but if my family made my husband feel this way, we would not be going to visit them. A long drive with a newborn baby is rough. I'm with your husband on this one. ← Reply 50
    via u/Karamist623
  • 19
    wasKelly • 6h Time to start your own family Christmas. ← Reply 10 ↓
    via u/wasKelly
  • 20
    FearlessAd2049 • 6h YTA Do not make your baby suffer through a 10 hour (it's always longer with a baby) drive in a car. Look, I get wanting to see your grandparents. I had to visit. one of mine a few months back, but I didn't uproot my whole family, it was a solo and baby trip. Can you just be the one to go, for maybe a few days, or even have them come to you?
    via u/FearlessAd2049
  • 21
    Also, if your family mistreated your husband, you need to hold them accountable. You handle your extended family, and he should handle his. And share the holidays! Or just have your own at your place and your family can come to you. There are many, many options. Reply 11 ↓ Д
    via u/FearlessAd2049
  • 22
    CaterpillarVisual307 OP 6h They wouldn't stay for us lol. They drive there because my brother is in that state with his babies and my grandparents go there because they have a vacation home. I suggested since I have a nb everyone come here this year but no apparently my grandparents can't fligh 45 min but can drive 8 hrs per my mother. Typing that out makes me feel a little silly for evan wanting to go in the first place. ... Д
    via u/CaterpillarVisual307
  • 23
    WhoEvenAm1 • 5h Just like a phone works both ways, so do the roadways. If they cared about seeing you and the baby as much as you are stressing about it, they would come to you. You're putting yourself through mental warfare on top of PPD trying to make everyone else happy. It's not worth the sacrifice to your own mental, your baby's comfort & health, nor your husband's mental. It shouldn't be all on you to see your family.
    via u/WhoEvenAm1
  • 24
    Everything you can do, they can do as well, and they can probably do it easier since they aren't the ones with a tiny baby to drag along. Spend Christmas at home. Start your own Christmas traditions with the family you are building. If they want to see you, they will come. If you still want the grandparents to meet your baby, and they refuse to come to you, do it after Christmas. Let the baby get a little older, a little more prepared for a long trip, let the baby's immune system build up a bit.
    via u/WhoEvenAm1
  • 25
    FioanaSickles • 5h You might not want to expose the baby to too many germs yet, depending on the age. Reply D
    via u/FioanaSickles
  • 26
    AggravatingOkra1117 • 3h 7 hours with a newborn?? Do you realize that's at least a 10 hour drive, because you have to stop every 2 hours to get them out of the car seat? Everything else aside, that sounds like absolute h I. If you haven't experienced a complete car meltdown when you're over 30 minutes from home yet, you can't fathom how horrific a road trip could be. Reply 4 53
    via u/AggravatingOkra1117
  • 27
    MelodramaticMouse • 6h Is it safe to have a baby in a car seat for 7 hours? I've read that they should be in car seats for short times, not hours and hours. Just stay home, decorate, and do it up right. Tell your family that your baby has to get a little older before it's safe to travel to them. ... Д Reply 10
    via u/MelodramaticMouse
  • 28
    Caterpillar Visual307 OP. 6h I asked his dr and it's okay as long as you take them out every 2-3 hours to feed and change. Yes I agree ← D û 5 3
    via u/CaterpillarVisual307
  • 29
    Perfect-Day-3431 • 5h Every year he spends Christmas with your family, you need to learn to compromise. I get that you are excited to show off your new baby to your family, but it's also his baby too. Your family come second to your husband. If they make him feel badly by treating him poorly, you should be prioritising his feelings. Try Christmas at home then take a trip after Christmas to see your family when he doesn't have to go. ← Reply Ĵ 3 ♡ зд Д
    via u/Perfect-Day-3431

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christmas family drama pregnancy wife reddit story relationships husband merry christmas couples love new mom entitled pregnant reddit thread newborn Reddit holidays
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