Woman Breaks up with Boyfriend After He Crashes Own Birthday with Unannounced Friends and Demands She Pays for Everyone: : ‘Called me cheap and said I ruined his birthday'

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Dec 19, 2024 3:00 PM EST

In most relationships, the following statement is a very simple and obvious one: our romantic partners should live up to their titles and act like partners. But this woman's partner, whose story she posted to Reddit for advice doesn't seem to get it.

The original poster (OP), a 20-year-old woman, tried to do something nice for her boyfriend's birthday, planning a fancy dinner date. But things went sideways fast when the boyfriend showed up with his buddy and the buddy's girlfriend without giving her any heads-up. 

As if her well-planned, elegant, romantic date being ruined isn't upsetting enough – OP also has to worry about the bill as she sits there watching the unexpected guests order nonstop drinks and starters like the restaurant is handing them out for free.

But things really escalate when she stands her ground and only pays for herself and her boyfriend, leaving the other couple to deal with their own bill. The boyfriend calls her cheap, accuses her of ruining his birthday, and gives her the silent treatment.

I know what I would advise her to do, but luckily Redditors have given the same advice. Making what they think of the boyfriend's behavior and what he should expect to come his way as clear as possible by using stronger language than what I would have.

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  • 01
    I deserve someone who actually values and respects me. I think it's time I stop putting up with this and move on.
    via Marje
  • 02
    AITAH for,,ruining" my bf's birthday dinner cause I didn't accepted to pay for everyone?
    via dreamingblondie
  • 03
    I (20F) have been dating my bf "Ryan" (21M) for about a year. For his birthday this year, I wanted to do something special, so I told him I'd take him out to a nice dinner. Just the two of us and I'd cover the bill. He was
    via dreamingblondie
  • 04
    super excited and agreed. So I made a reservation at a nice restaurant, put on a nice dress and was so excited to see his reaction. When I got there, I was surprised to see that Ryan had
    via dreamingblondie
  • 05
    invited his best friend who also arrived with his gf. He hadn't mentioned anything about them coming. I was caught off guard but thought why not having a nice couple dinner.
    via dreamingblondie
  • 06
    The whole time his best friend and his gf ordered a ton of appetizers and multiple drinks each. I started panicking a little because I realized this bill was going to be way more than I'd
    via dreamingblondie
  • 07
    planned for. Toward the end Ryan leaned over and said, "Don't forget, you said you'd cover it." I told him I agreed to pay for his dinner cause of his birthday and not for another couple, I didn't even knew was coming. He said it's "r de" to invite people to dinner and not pay for them.
    via dreamingblondie
  • 08
    At this point I already thought wrong with you and told him it's ruder to invite people to a dinner that someone else is paying for without telling them first. I already had the feeling to
    via dreamingblondie
  • 09
    explode out of anger so I just went quite and waited for the waiter to finally pay. When the check came, I paid for my meal and his and told his buddy that he should cover the bill for
    via dreamingblondie
  • 10
    himself and his gf. Both looked at me as if I had insulted them in some way, saying I embarrassed them in front of the server. In addition to that Ryan even called me "cheap" and said I ruined his birthday.
    via dreamingblondie
  • 11
    All this happened last Saturday and since then he's been giving me the cold shoulder and just answered my messages with insulting me for "embarrassing" him in front of his friend. Now I'm
    via dreamingblondie
  • 12
    thinking about breaking up because he is not talking to me since one week already even though I wanted to apologize. Maybe some of you got any advice for me?
    via dreamingblondie
  • 13
    busyshrew ⚫15h ago Older person who has eaten out for many many meals. With friends and without.
    via busyshrew
  • 14
    What you BF did was 100% wrong and very ride. His friends were just as bad or worse. NTA, and you really should break up. Trust me, if a young man likes you, he wouldn't treat you like this.
    via busyshrew
  • 15
    Ok_Copy_8869 • 15h ago NTA. Your boyfriend, his friend, and his friends girlfriend are and you need to reevaluate whether or not your boyfriend cares about you or if he is using you because that was very
    via Ok_Copy_8869
  • 16
    r de and presumptuous on all 3 of their parts. Now he isn't talking to you over it? Well he has made it pretty clear the only part about you he cares about which is clearly the part that
    via Ok_Copy_8869
  • 17
    financially benefits him and his friends. F em all you're better off now. You're too young to waste time on people who treat you like that.
    via Ok_Copy_8869
  • 18
    brisblan 15h ago • Don't apologise and break up with him, it won't get any better from now on, NTA
    via brisblan
  • 19
    Salt-Finding9193 15h ago • I wish you hadn't paid and just left. Or just paid for your own food and left. He's using you. He's a nasty, freeloading user. Now he's
    via Salt-Finding9193
  • 20
    trying to guilt you into thinking you should have paid for his friends. You've got to be kidding me. DO NOT see him again. He is NOT a good person. He's 1. Tell him that. a You deserve better. You'll meet better. Don't settle.
    via Salt-Finding9193
  • 21
    Excied 19371a • 13h ago • NTA. You agreed to a special dinner for your boyfriend, not an unexpected group outing. It's completely unfair for him to assume you'd
    via Excied19371a
  • 22
    also cover the cost for additional guests, especially without prior discussion. It's not just about the money it's about communication and respect. Him calling you "cheap" and accusing you of
    via Excied19371a
  • 23
    ruining his birthday because you wouldn't pay for his friends too is manipulative and a huge red flag. You shouldn't apologize for setting boundaries and
    via Excied19371a
  • 24
    sticking to them. If he can't understand why you were upset or discuss this maturely, it might be worth reconsidering the relationship's future. You deserve to be treated with respect and to have your boundaries acknowledged.
    via Excied19371a
  • 25
    dreamingblondie OP 14h ago Honestly, I'm starting to think you're right. His behavior has been so selfish, and I can already feel him trying to make me feel guilty about the situation. If I try to break up, I'm sure he'll turn it all around on me. It's exhausting, and I'm realizing I deserve way better than this.
    via dreamingblondie
  • 26
    dreamingblondie OP 16h ago • Thank you for your perspective it really helped. You're right, his behavior was disrespectful, and it feels like he and his friends took advantage of me. I wanted to make his birthday special, but instead, he called me "cheap" and hasn't spoken to
    via dreamingblondie
  • 27
    me since. I realize now I shouldn't waste my time on someone who doesn't value me. It's time to focus on myself and find someone who treats me better.
    via dreamingblondie

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boyfriend aita break up date romantic birthday demanding childish ruined relationships girlfriend couples entitled insult breakup cheap couple breakups
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