'The guy is a manbaby': Man gets coworker the wrong candy for Secret Santa despite coworker saying he liked 'anything sweet,' faces the disdain of the entire office

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 21, 2024 3:00 PM EST

The point of Secret Santa is that it's low-key. It's not a formal gift exchange, but rather a fun way to exchange (usually small) gifts and add a little bit of mystery to it. I used to do one with my high school friend group, and we'd usually give each other gag gifts, just so we could all have a laugh together when we exchanged them. But things can get a little trickier when it comes to gift-giving in the workplace. You have to be extra sure not to offend anyone, or else you might face professional repercussions. 

This is what one worker had in mind when choosing his Secret Santa gift for his coworker. But when he opened it, there was a whole other reality in store for him. His anger and disappointment seemed outrageous, and commenters were quick to come in with ideas to help him keep the peace. Read on for the story. 

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    Secret Santa
    via The Retro Store
  • 02
    Messed up with Secret Santa. How can I fix the office politic situation?
    via u/atableformethere
  • 03
    Hi everyone, I apparently messed up with my department's Secret Santa. We haven't revealed who is who yet (which gets revealed at our staff Christmas party on Friday). We filled out a gift guide on a document on our OneDrive of our likes and dislikes.
    via u/atableformethere
  • 04
    I got my Secret Santa a bunch of Reese's trees, which apparently was a mistake because I read under snacks "Lara bars (peanut butter & chocolate), or anything sweet really" as he liked peanut butter and chocolate so I got him Reese's trees instead of a specifically sweet Lara bar.
    via u/atableformethere
  • 05
    Turns out... he thought it was "pity candy" and whoever gave him the gift has been the talk of the department all week. It's been talked like someone slapped him in the face instead of given him a bad Secret Santa gift. Even my own boss said that "the person who gave him the gift should be embarrassed".
    via u/atableformethere
  • 06
    He's been with the company for almost 20 years and is above me in our department. He is causing a whole stir over this. Many of my coworkers are trying to go ahead and figure out who is who just to make them feel bad about his gift. I went ahead and went to Target and bought multiple boxes of the correct Lara bars to put on his desk tomorrow as an apology.
    via u/atableformethere
  • 07
    I feel like this will negatively affect how I'm viewed in the office. Is there anything I can do besides getting him the correct bars? It just pains me and keeps me up at night to hear coworkers talk so badly about me in front of my face unknowingly and potentially ruin my likability around the office.
    via u/atableformethere
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    JuliPat7119 5h ago • • Is this for real? Your boss should have squashed this immediately rather than feed into it. I'd skip Secret Santa next year if I were you. This is supposed to be something fun and lighthearted but a grown freaking adult turned into a baby because they got the wrong candy. Ffs, he can go to Walmart and get his own Lara bars. Why am I 2nd hand infuriated over this?
    via u/JuliPat7119
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    Inert-Blob · 6h ago. • F s sake do NOT give him boxes of lara bars - it will just crystalise his bulls . Make him think you are actually at fault when you clearly are NOT. Who gives a f about a secret santa? Next year give him in it. with peanuts
    via u/Inert-Blob
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    OkSector7737 · 7h ago You work with weirdos who are taking this way too seriously. I would try to avoid these people and call out sick on the day of the gift exchange, if possible.
    via u/OkSector7737
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    Believe Believes • 3h ago Top 1% Commenter So, everyone is freaking out about how stupid and ridiculous this is, but aren't offering any suggestions on how to actually handle this so that you aren't negatively effected. First of all, yes, that guy is a complete idiot who
    via u/BelieveBelieves
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    has the emotional maturity and logic of an infant. And while that is correct, you still work there and need to be respected and want to minimize the damage he can do. And unfortunately, you are right to be concerned, he is very clearly causing you problems already. I also agree getting him the correct candy
    via u/BelieveBelieves
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    will go a long way. You have a couple ways you could address it. Personally, I would pull the secret Santa aside, maybe ask him to coffee or lunch, bring the Lara bars and reveal with some comical flair that you're the gift giver and that you simply misunderstood and you wanted to make it right and then hand him the Lara bars.
    via u/BelieveBelieves
  • 14
    You could say something like "I have some big news, I'm you're secret Santa and I'm really sorry for the mix-up with your gift. I misinterpreted your preferences, and I can see how it might have come across as thoughtless. I genuinely wanted to get you something you'd enjoy, and
    via u/BelieveBelieves
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    I'm glad to have the chance to correct that." Wrap the bars very nicely, be light hearted, and smile. Don't be sheepish just correct it and let him have the opportunity to be gracious. The other way you could handle it is to bring the Lara bars to the reveal party and when you say you're his
    via u/BelieveBelieves
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    Secret Santa you could whip out the correct bars and say something like "I heard that I got the wrong candy, last night the elves dropped off a better present and send their apologies!" And hand them to him.
    via u/BelieveBelieves
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    As for your boss, I think it's worth a quick convo "I just wanted to clear up that the gift I gave was an honest mistake-l misread his preferences, and I feel awful about how it's turned out. I've already taken steps to make things right and just wanted you to know that it wasn't meant to offend anyone."
    via u/BelieveBelieves
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    The most important thing to me is to correct it, be apologetic but don't beat yourself up (he's the a h le here, not you). Fixing it is the right move politically in your office and if you can pull it off with light heartedness it could even work in your favor. Regardless it will likely blow over in no time.
    via u/BelieveBelieves
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    I will say though, this office sounds toxic as h I and you might want to dust off your resume and keep an eye out for a better environment.
    via u/BelieveBelieves
  • 20
    Garth-Vega .7h ago • FFS, the guy is a manbaby, and a waste of time.
    via u/Garth-Vega
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    DiscoMonkeyz • 7h ago I can't understand any of that. He asked for something sweet, you got him something sweet? What am I missing?
    via u/DiscoMonkeyz
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    southerntakl 3h ago • This is literally insane. I had to go back and re-read it thinking I must have missed something. He asked for "anything sweet really" and that's what you got him. Why should anyone be embarrassed? Let alone gossiped about all week?? The office culture is the problem
    via u/southerntakl
  • 23
    Indyhouse • 5h ago . This sounds like a great Seinfeld episode. All of the main characters are adult children (excluding you who was just having fun). This person who has been at the company for more than 20+ years should be the one
    via u/Indyhouse
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    embarrassed. What a petulant child. When my children were toddlers they were more graceful when receiving gifts they didn't like. I don't have any advice other than try to ignore it.
    via u/Indyhouse
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    Nefariousnesss... 4h ago. He is on an upper level from you? Why in the world is a management guy in on an office group Christmas event? That is SO out of line.
    via u/NefariousnessSweet70
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    nerdburg 1h ago • . Huh. When ppl give me gifts I say "Thank you!" Because that's what normal ppl do. This is making a stink about an office secret Santa gift? He's an absolute idiot. Even if he was disappointed in the gift, he lacks the grace to appreciate the spirit of the season.
    via u/nerdburg
  • 27
    Buy a bunch of Reese's and hand them out at the office. Say "I hope you love these as much as I do, I give them to all of my friends!" Then you'll look like a nice person instead of someone that's terrible at secret Santa.
    via u/nerdburg

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christmas boss antiwork gifts workplace-stories toxic-workplace job bosses work coworkers Secret Santa working gift reddit story toxic-boss workplace reddit thread bad bosses Reddit toxic-work-environment
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