'I don't think you really like your girlfriend': 22-year-old wins a $500 raffle on vacation, girlfriend claims $250 since she helped him pick the numbers or else put it toward an engagement ring

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 24, 2024 1:00 PM EST

There's a common adage that goes along with winning the lottery: "Never tell anyone you won the lottery." Everyone in your life will come out of the woodwork asking for money, favors, and assistance, the wisdom goes. I've never won the lottery but I'm sure there's some truth to this. You might be quickly overcome with obligations and guilt, feeling the need to indulge every want someone comes to you with. 

But there's a flip side to this-- if you're leading with a spirit of generosity, then you might finally find yourself with the means to make the lives of those around you a little easier, and that might be the ultimate joy of the experience. It depends, of course, on how much you've won. That's why in this situation, when one man won $500 on vacation, things got a little complicated. Commenters were split on the right course of action, so read on to see what you think. 

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  • 01
    OPAMERICA ONE
    via Unsplash+ (Vitalii Khodzinskyi)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to split a $500 raffle winnings with my gf?
    via u/Outside_Locksmith754
  • 03
    My girlfriend (22F) and I (22M) of 1.5 years are on vacation with my family and we go to a cornhole tournament with my cousin. At the event there are a few raffle boards where you can buy a square for $10 a square and the winners can get various prizes. I bought 1 square on 3 different boards for $30 total, and I let my gf pick the spots were she would write down my name. Time goes on and somehow I end up winning the $500 board.
    via u/Outside_Locksmith754
  • 04
    To give some background in our relationship I pay for 80% of the expenses in our relationship, ie. going out to dinner, activities ect. and she then pays for the other 20%. However, when she pays she uses her parents credit card and not her own money because her parents can afford to do so and she is a college student.
    via u/Outside_Locksmith754
  • 05
    Then after I go up to collect my money my gf says "oh so were going to split that 50/50 right?" To which I respond "umm no I don't think so". She then continues on to ask me to buy her new shoes or new jeans with the money that I won, then finally she says that I should put the money in an account for an engagement ring. I again refuse to do any of those things and respond with telling her that I will pay for the drinks and food for the night, then take her out to dinner a different night.
    via u/Outside_Locksmith754
  • 06
    I also have to add that almost every time that I "gamble", ie. buy 50/50 raffle tickets, play slots, sports bet, ect. she responds with something along the lines of "you shouldn't be wasting your money on that you should be saving up for a ring" It seemed kind of cliche to me that when I win money from "gambling" she wants 50% of it but when I lose money she says how I shouldn't be wasting my money. AITA?
    via u/Outside_Locksmith754
  • 07
    • Click_To_Submit 21h ago. 22yo, 1.5 years together and she's pressing you hard about getting married? It doesn't seem like you're up for that. Maybe you need to have a deeper discussion about your relationship. NTA
    via u/Click_To_Submit
  • 08
    mdthomas • 22h ago. You paid for the chances for the raffle, you get the winnings. She's fine with you spending your money on her, but doesn't want you to spend it on fun things for yourself? That tells me that she thinks YOUR money is HER money.
    via u/mdthomas
  • 09
    urgasmic • 21h ago . I would split it with my boyfriend if he picked the winning numbers/placement. but i'd like to think if i were seeing someone for 1.5 years i would actually like them or would have just broken up by now.
    via u/urgasmic
  • 10
    AmbientApe • 21h ago. I don't think you really like your girlfriend. Are you sure you're not just stringing her along out of habit? Soft YTA for the situation you describe: she was involved in picking the winning board, so some share of the money would have been generous... and if you're not going to be generous to your girlfriend... well, see my opening line.
    via u/AmbientApe
  • 11
    catskilkid 22h ago • • NTA There is no part of this story where she contributes 50% in her time, effort or funds. That being said.... Dude you two need to have a serious discussion about finances if you are considering proposing, this does not sound like a short term issue but a way of life.
    via u/catskilkid
  • 12
    Someone You Do... ⚫ 21h ago INFO Is this a serious - relationship, or do you consider this a casual fling? If this is just something casual, then consider ending it because you've already had a year and half to decide whether you want to take this to the next level, and you're
    via u/SomeoneYouDontKnow70
  • 13
    just wasting each others' time at this point. If you want this relationship to be serious, then consider splitting your winnings 50/50 as a good faith demonstration of your commitment to this relationship. Otherwise, be prepared to listen to the story of your stinginess for many years to come. This isn't about $250 that she wants. The hints are there, but you're not taking them:
    via u/SomeoneYouDontKnow70
  • 14
    she says that I should put the money in an account for an engagement ring. you should be saving up for a ring You shouldn't feel like you have to take this to the next level, but you also shouldn't continue wasting her time if you're not willing to live up to her expectations.
    via u/SomeoneYouDontKnow70
  • 15
    • FinalConsequence70 20h ago. Jesus. They are 22 years old. They barely qualify as adults and you think that he should be saving for a ring? Neither should be thinking about marriage, they should be focused on education, a career, and figuring out who they are as people first.
    via u/FinalConsequence70
  • 16
    Sweetcilantro 22h ago. nah You won because she picked those spots. She didn't put any money in so shouldnt EXPECT it, but you also only won money because she choose the spots. Should buy a nice treat for both of you with the money, like a nice outing you wouldn't normally go one.
    via u/Sweetcilantro
  • 17
    . D. 21h ago Edited 16h ago • You played the game together and thus should share in the winnings. YTA and likely to be single soon. Honestly, half the post reads as wealth envy toward her and her family making you more of an AH.
    via u/Derwin0
  • 18
    Tally0987654321 • 21h ago NTA She is getting the money. You're spending it on dinner and drinks that she's getting. She wants the cash and you to pay for everything. Pfft
    via u/Tally0987654321
  • 19
    Immediate_Fort... • 21h ago Nta. My gf know that when we go out gambling I front the $ and I get all the winnings. She's got no complaints. She knows it'll get spent on her in one form or another eventually.
    via u/Immediate_Fortune_91
  • 20
    Old_Fart_on_po... • 21h ago NTA - but it would be graceful to split the winnings or take her out to a nice dinner. A year and a half dating, do you see a future with her or are you only still together because of familiarity?
    via u/Old_Fart_on_pogie
  • 21
    2doublerats • 20h ago ESH this whole thing just sounds weird. Do you even like her? Is getting a ring before a degree some sort of specific life goal for her? You're already itemizing the relationship and sounds like you're on completely
    via u/2doublerats
  • 22
    different pages on financial matters - you need to have a lot of conversations before even thinking about getting married. Also, if she's a college student (and it's implied that you're not and you have a job & make money), then yeah it probably makes sense for you to pay for more stuff right now. Equitable is not necessarily equal.
    via u/2doublerats
  • 23
    CryInteresting5... . 20h ago She's a fling to you. Stop stringing her along.
    via u/CryInteresting5631
  • 24
    Alfred-Register... ⚫ 21h ago NTA. It's literally your money that paid for those spots, that just so happened to get picked. Her say, doesn't mean anything. The chances of the raffle picking any spot, was the same.
    via u/Alfred-Register7379

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