Woman Uninvites Toxic Sister-In-Law for Christmas After She Mocked Her, Gets Unwavering Support from Her Man: ‘[The sister] has thrown a colossal temper tantrum’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Dec 21, 2024 10:00 PM EST

Family dramas are always tough and delicate situations that need to be dealt with carefully. But sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

This is the case with this story which involves an extremely toxic sister-in-law who presents a potent mix of infantile gatekeeping and demeaning slander, which Redditors agree has to be dealt with exactly like the young woman who posted it did.

The original poster (OP) of the story is a young woman, who clashed with her boyfriend's sister Sally. Sally mocked OP and made mean comments about her looks and mental health. 

When OP told her boyfriend, he immediately backed her up, and together they decided to uninvite Sally for Christmas, which caused a big family fight. OP's family supports her, but her boyfriend's parents think she's overreacting. 

It's a tough situation that mixes family drama with personal boundaries but also an encouraging one that shows the power of loving, supportive partners and OP's bravery in standing up for herself against mistreatment, even when it meant going against family expectations.

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  • 01
    Alex agrees. He texted saying she is no longer welcome if she is just going to be like that.
    via Thaweewong
  • 02
    AITA for disinviting my SIL to Xmas and refusing to invite her back and 'causing unnecessary drama?'
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 03
    I am 26F. My boyfriend of 3 years is Alex (28). His sister Sally is also 26. I will refer to her as SIL to make it easier.
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 04
    Alex and I recently moved in together so we thought it would be good to host Christmas there as a housewarming. All those invited were Alex's parents, Sally, my parents, my brother, my
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 05
    brothers wife and my two nieces. Sally's best friend, Mary was also going to come by for a while as her family lives quite far away and I've met and hung out with Mary a few times.
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 06
    Anyway Sally and I had a stupid argument. We both have tat os and pi ags. I also have str ched ears and no longer wear them. I like a lot of metal and rock music, but no longer
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 07
    dress as gothic or dark as I used to. Sally is quite gothic and has numerous facial and ear pie ings. I used to have the same but took them all out a couple of years ago but recently put my
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 08
    nose ring back in. I have a single picing but put a ring in that is a double ring but on one piel ng if that makes sense. I just really liked the look of it and thought it suited me.
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 09
    Sally on the other hand has two proper nose picings, both rings in one nostril. When I met up with her, she noticed my pic ing and asked if I got a new one in and I said no. She then got really weird
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 10
    and quite mean by stating and I quote 'why the are you wearing a fake double nose ring being a fuking poser. I ACTUALLY (she emphasised the word) went and got it done properly.' She said some other
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 11
    comments saying it really didn't suit me and I'd be better going back to being a 'pretend happy person.' It actually really hurt my feelings and I don't know where it came
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 12
    from. It was like she was gate keeping a certain way of looking. She has made some jokes before about me dressing in colour etc. rather than all black and still liking metal and said before that I
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 13
    'don't fit into the metal group'. The last comment also felt like a dig at my mtal health. Putting my nose piccing back in actually boosted by self esteem as I've struggled to accept how I
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 14
    look due to severe deprsion. When I went back home, I told Alex what happened and he called Sally and she tried to play the whole thing of as a joke and said it's not her fault I'm too weak to handle sarcasm. She then kept laughing about it and didn't even attempt to apologise.
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 15
    I've decided I no longer want Sally over for Christmas if all she wants to do is humiliate me and Alex agrees. He texted saying she is no longer welcome if she is just going to be like that and sh went through the roof. She has
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 16
    thrown a colossal temper tantrum saying we are targeting and excluding her yet she hasn't once offered an apology. I told my in laws about it and they seem to think I should be the bigger person and say I probably took
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 17
    the comments the wrong way (1 didn't.) they say I'm causing unnecessary drama and that Christmas is for family. My family are in my side saying what's the point in inviting someone over
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 18
    who can cruelly mock my appearance and try to pass it off as a joke. My family also mentioned a good point that my ILs didn't, Sally made a cruel comment about my me "al health.
    via bigpu$$ystance
  • 19
    buttercupgrump • 3d ago A hole Aficionado [12] ΝΤΑ If Sally wants to be mean, she can do it elsewhere. Your home should be a safe place. And if anyone's the poser here, it's her for acting like there's only one way to be goth or alternative.
    via buttercupgrump
  • 20
    steak_dilemma • 3d ago • Wait til she discovers that as we get older, our bands have earlier shows! and some of us show up right after work wearing all kinds of not-metal things! Band T's under cardigans and dress shirts - oh no! Sacre bleu, we're all poseurs now!
    via steak_dilemma
  • 21
    Sally. SALLY. No. This is 8th grade fashion policing. I believe it was Latrice Royale of Drag Race fame who said it first, but: "The five G's: Good God, girl, get a grip!"
    via steak_dilemma
  • 22
    NTA, I hope you have a wonderful drama-free Christmas, listen to whatever all music you love, and rock whatever all piercings and tattoos YOU want.
    via steak_dilemma
  • 23
    Cavane42 3d ago Certified Proctolog|st [25] "Christmas is a time for family." ALL times are times for family, and family treat each other with love, support, and respect. NTA
    via Cavane42
  • 24
    • Young-Kiss 3d ago • NTA. You're absolutely right to set boundaries, especially when someone is being unnecessarily cruel and dismissive. Sally's comments
    via Young-Kiss
  • 25
    weren't just about the piercing—they were personal, mean-spirited, and took a swipe at something as sensitive as your mental health. That's not okay, and
    via Young-Kiss
  • 26
    it's even worse that she's refusing to take accountability or apologize. Instead, she doubled down, called you weak, and tried to pass it off as "sarcasm." That's not humor; it's just plain hurtful.
    via Young-Kiss
  • 27
    • Magic-girl- 3d ago • ΝΤΑ Sally's comments were cruel, dismissive, and entirely unnecessary. She crossed multiple boundaries-not just about your appearance but also your mental health,
    via Magic-girl
  • 28
    which is an incredibly personal and sensitive subject. Her behavior wasn't just "sarcasm"; it was mean- spirited and showed a lack of respect for you in your own home.
    via Magic-girl
  • 29
    Unlucky-Sweet4026 • 3d ago • NTA. Metalhead here. And regular jeans and t-shirts kind of girl. You don't have to look a certain way to love a particular genre of music. Your SIL is being weird.
    via Unlucky-Sweet4026
  • 30
    anOddPhish • 3d ago Part ipant [1] NTA Your identity is not "metal fan", your identity is you. You dress and present yourself accordingly.
    via anOddPhish
  • 31
    The fact that she is gatekeeping piercings is really bizarre. At 13 this would be considered cringey, at 26 it's just... pathetic? Nose rings aren't even exclusive to a music genre or even a certain culture. It's jewellery!
    via anOddPhish
  • 32
    You should wear whatever clothing, jewellery, and anything else that makes you feel good, and like yourself. If she cannot apologise, no-one
    via anOddPhish
  • 33
    has any right to demand she be invited to your event. If she apologises and then at Christmas causes drama or is ride to you, kick her out!
    via anOddPhish

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boyfriend christmas family drama couple goals aita drama sister-in-law family feud sister in law couples in laws family emotional-support healthy relationship couple
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