Entitled grandma steals Christmas gift ideas for grandchildren from daughter-in-law of 15 years, doesn't understand when she freaks out: 'It's a kid's toy'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Dec 23, 2024 11:00 AM EST

For those families who celebrate, Christmas is usually a time of year when making the kids happy takes center stage. It is not uncommon for older relatives to compete for who can make the best childhood memories, or give the most impressive gifts. The tactics can get dirty.

This is something that one mom was shocked to find herself struggling with when it came to her mother-in-law and choosing presents for her kids. The grandma showed no shame in blatantly stealing her ideas for expensive gifts and even taking items out of her shopping cart when they went Christmas shopping together.

Understandably, the mom felt the need to confront this but she did not get any kind of apology or acknowledgement of what had been done. At the very least, she was able to get validation from the internet that she was not alone in thinking that this behavior was wild.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10445956608
    via Charlie Harris (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA? My mother in law stole my gift and I'm SUPER HURT
    via LitlThrowAwayGirl
  • 03
    My mother in law of 15years asked me to lunch and finish Christmas shopping, she wasn't sure what to get my 9yr old son. We met at the video game store; they were out of my suggestion; I told her of another game (I had already purchased for my son but planned on sending it back to make it easier on MIL)
    via LitlThrowAwayGirl
  • 04
    Next store- I'm adding things to my cart for my kids; she is asking who they are for and PULLING THEM OUT OF MY CART INTO HERS. I nicely was like; "if you keep taking the stuff I'm gonna buy Santa's gonna sk this year" she didn't seem to care. As we are checking out I say I have to go to Best Buy next door and get my daughter her "big" gift from my husband and I; a camcorder. My MIL is a hoarder of casino gained merch (if you know you know) and said "I have some at home, I think" and I was VERY
    via LitlThrowAwayGirl
  • 05
    2 days go by; my daughter stays overnight at grandmas. When she came home she was SO EXCITED to tell me that brother has 7 presents under the tree, she has 6 and NANA GOT HER A VLOGGING CAMERA! "But we need your help with the memory card mom" WHO DOES THAT?!? I texted her asking why in the world she would ever think that was ok, her response "it's a kids toy" AS IF THAT MATTERS!! And her son.. my husband; he "doesn't understand why I have an issue" AITA?!?!
    via LitlThrowAwayGirl
  • 06
    EDIT TO ADD/CLARIFY: I had never shopped with her before; the items she was removing from my cart were not make or break- more like I'm done shopping but I'm here in this store so I grabbed some lil bonus Santa items. It never came to mind she would gift the camera before me. never; even when she was taking from my cart. It just wasn't even an inkling of something to be wary of to me. Because who does that
    via LitlThrowAwayGirl

    It is plain to see that Grandma has no problem with taking her daughter-in-law's ideas and using them to get into her grandchildren's good books. It isn't a good sign that her son is not willing to argue in favor of his wife, either.

  • 07
    CarryOk3080 Nta. But.....is your MIL always like this? Why would you keep taking her to stores. Tell her nothing she is on an ice diet. You unfortunately let her by taking her with you if she is always like this.....and the kids going a few days before xmas....well ya she was one upping you....did you not anticipate that? You have a husband problem. Do you normally get steamrolled by the 2?
    via CarryOk3080
  • 08
    LitlThrowAwayGirl OP I have never shopped with her before, I thought I was finally breaking through with a real relationship with her. She is very religious- I am Not. It will always remain a point of contention so we don't "hang out" independently much. This day though I came home actually feeling like she was my MOTHER in law, I thought we had connected on certain levels. Our home is lacking storage space, so I left a few items until the end so I didn't have to leave expensive things hidden in
    via LitlThrowAwayGirl
  • 09
    CarryOk3080 Is your husband always so wishy-washy with his mother?
    via CarryOk3080
  • 10
    LitlThrowAwayGirl OP Oof. Answering that would probably require a whole different post on a different thread. Short answer; NEVER if it's concerning him.
    via LitlThrowAwayGirl
  • 11
    EEJR Tell your husband he's in charge of getting the last- minute gifts now, or he can tell your daughter why she doesn't have anything under the tree.
    via EEJR
  • 12
    ThisGirlls Fine I guess Dad can go figure out what the big present is gonna be for your daughter now.
    via ThisGirlIsFine
  • 13
    LitlThrowAwayGirl OP I swear I feel the same
    via LitlThrowAwayGirl
  • 14
    SolitaryTeaParty NTA, and I'd be concerned if I were you about how quick your husband is to brush off someone disrespecting and undermining you like that.
    via SolitaryTeaParty
  • 15
    LitlThrowAwayGirl OP I am. This whole thing has me ready to end it all! It's not just not showing up for me, SHE took her own granddaughters magical moment Christmas morning; and HE either doesn't see it that way because the one we got is not a "kids version" so it's not the same or he just dgaf. But it is the same.. the perception to her is that she is now getting something she already has.... right? Or AITA
    via LitlThrowAwayGirl
  • 16
    Jane AustenismyJam • 7h ago • I would at least put dear husband in charge of all gift buying for a year. Start to finish. He can see how tough, time consuming and stressful the whole process is. I would also stop all interactions with MIL and let him know, tag- you're it!
    via JaneAustenismyJam
  • 17
    wishingforarainyday NTA but your husband and MIL are. I'd be so disgusted if my husband didn't back me up when his mother was so obviously wrong. That's foul. I'd call him out on it. Let him know this is a major problem. Updateme
    via wishingforarainyday
  • 18
    LitlThrowAwayGirl OP I'm DISGUSTED. Hours have passed since I brought this to him and shared how hurt and absolutely rage filled I was; if he says nothing... goes about tomorrow (he's on PTO) as if nothing needs to be discussed... I swear fo gahhh
    via LitlThrowAwayGirl
  • 19
    otisandme NTA but your husband is. He should have put a stop to his mom being so r de and overbearing a long long time ago
    via otisandme
  • 20
    Same-Bid-703 NTA...however some perspective, I just asked my 22 year old thier favorite present from thier 9th Christmas....they couldn't tell me. Xmas gifts don't really stick. Stop telling MIL what the kids want if you want to buy it.
    via Same-Bid-703
  • 21
    LitlThrowAwayGirl OP I do agree, and it's not necessarily the gift for me as it is that magical moment of opening that one thing you really worked hard to be on the nice list for..
    via LitlThrowAwayGirl
  • 22
    overundermoneyline NTA. This is ridiculous. When I was young my grandparents helped my parents buy a big gift that I really wanted and just was not in budget. It said it was from Santa. I knew what was up, we didn't open Santa gifts at my grandparents house. But that was the story. Not until after both of my grandparents passed away that they told me, even though I actually knew anyways. My grandfather pulling that big box from behind his chair was one of my favorite memories and it now it's onl
    via overundermoneyline
  • 23
    CreativeMusic5121 NTA---but in the future 1. do not tell her what you are buying the kids 2. only tell her items that you want HER to buy 3. do not shop with her
    via CreativeMusic5121
  • 24
    Extra-Affect6020 My mom used to do it when all the grandkids were young. We learned to only leak what we wanted them to get. Problem solved.
    via Extra-Affect6020
  • 25
    chaenukyun NTA I think as parents you get first "dibs" on items like that, especially when you not only told her you were going to buy it...but also did..in her presence. Does your husband know how she behaved that day? That she literally took items out of your cart, so that she could purchase them to gift your kids and look like super grandma~.
    via chaenukyun
  • 26
    Little_Loki918 NTA, but from 1 mom to another, here are some quick new xmas gift ideas: tripod for camera, green screen, editing software, better quality microphone, ring light, and depending on age an online or in person course on being a content creator. As for experiential gifts, you can book a trip to see a favorite content creator if they have meet and greets.
    via Little_Loki918
  • 27
    Littleroo27 NTA. Go again next year, but choose a bunch of stuff you know your kids won't like, but that aren't obviously crop presents. Let gramma buy them! Anything she doesn't steal, you can return when you get the real presents. If MIL has a problem with it later, it's just a kids toy!
    via Littleroo27
  • 28
    LitlThrowAwayGirl OP YES!! Yesss yesssssssss!!'or I go buy all the things she bought them when I was with her and give them to the kids tomorrow
    via LitlThrowAwayGirl

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christmas daughter in law aita gifts kids grandma grandchildren family reddit thread Reddit mom entitled people
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