Entitled relative steals Christmas toys that ‘fun uncle’ reserved for charity, gives them to her grandkids and doubles down on her Grinch behavior when she's called out

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  • 01
    "[She said] I had spoilt the joy she would have at seeing the little ones playing with them because of my implication that she had stolen them."
  • 02
    AITA: My relative took some toys for her grandkids without asking me
  • 03
    I have various family members visiting with their kids around the year They bring their kids and as the "fun uncle" I take them around town and see the sites and parks
  • 04
    This time I had a pile of new toys that I had been saving to give to a charity and this relative "Heather" asked me why I had so many
  • 05
    I explained the situation and that I was giving them in remembrance of my mum, since she loved kids Heather then mentioned that her very young granddaughters might appreciate a couple of the toys too
  • 06
    I just looked at her and said no It's not that I don't give the kids in the family presents, but these were not for them We didn't discuss it again
  • 07
    The following day Heather left to go back home whilst I was at work When I returned, I was told by family that she had asked them if she could take a couple of the toys.
  • 08
    Now Heather is quite forceful and the other family member was a bit cowed, and kind of just mentioned maybe she should wait for me to get home
  • 09
    Heather overrode their objections and took the toys and left I was obviously ped when I got home to that news and rang her straightaway
  • 10
    She claimed that the charity (it's a children's hospice) wouldn't miss a couple of toys and it was too late now as her granddaughters had already opened them and loved them.
  • 11
    Heather said it sounded like I was calling her a thief, and she didn't appreciate that and now I had spoilt the joy she would have at seeing the little ones playing with them because of my implication that she had stolen them
  • 12
    was so furious that I slammed the phone down and didn't speak to her again for around 4 months. Now during that time she would ring and my other relatives would answer the call and chide me for not forgiving Heather
  • 13
    When I finally did talk to her she said she would no longer allow herself to feel guilty for what she had done and I could not sit in judgment over her and make her feel bad
  • 14
    Now I know she's a complete and utter AH for what she did, but my family are telling me to drop it as it's been months and I'm causing an unnecessary fuss
  • 15
    I have decided to be civil since she's ill but I really can't forgive her for not only taking those toys but also not being able to feel like I can trust her my home if she ever visits again
  • 16
    So am I the AH for still being a judgemental b*stard and not truly forgiving her?
  • 17
    Edit: didn't realise this would get this many responses (if only my HomeKit query did!) Just to clarify Heather's reasoning for not being a thief is that she informed my wimpy relative that she was taking the toys
  • 18
    So it can't be stealing if she told one of the family she was taking them
  • 19
    embopbopbopd... • 3d ago "Heather said it sounded like I was calling her a thief." She IS a thief. She asked you. You said no. She took them anyway. And remind them she stole from the charity.
  • 20
    Tell the family members still giving you grief that you'll forgive her when she pays for what she stole or buys and donates gifts of the same value to the charity she stole from. NTA
  • 21
    LowBalance4404 • 3d ago NTA. If she is stealing from sick kids, she will totally steal something else from you.
  • 22
    alematt 3d ago. NTA in the slightest. She couldn't even respect your decision when you said no. That is disrespect to you and what you got those toys for. She's a thief and nothing she says can excuse that she chose to disrespect you by stealing.
  • 23
    aricyl 3d ago • NTA. She stole the toys - she IS a thief. In all honesty it says volumes about her and those that are defending her. They don't respect you or your property.
  • 24
    Paevatar 3d ago • • NTA She is a thief with the conscience of a shark. If family members want you to forgive her, tell them to give you money to replace those toys for the charity. Or tell them to ask her for the money.

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