'You don't shame or hide things that should be celebrated': Mom lashes out when daughter-in-law announces pregnancy in front of her other, favorite daughter-in-law who has had trouble conceiving

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 26, 2024 6:00 PM EST

Life is not fair. Sometimes good things happen to bad people, and sometimes bad things happen to good people. The universe can feel random and unwieldy with the way it doles out favors. But part of being a human is just going along for that ride, preparing for every case scenario, and not being too attached to any outcome. Sometimes, though, that's hard to do when you feel like your failures are being thrown in your face. This is why it's important to have empathy for everyone. 

Everyone comes from a different perspective and has different priorities, and you can't expect everyone's perspectives and priorities to match up at every single second of the day, especially when it comes to family. However one thing's for sure, it's not right to play favorites. But that's exactly what one woman did when two of her daughters-in-law were at odds. Read on for the story. 

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    BOYHOTEL TPLBOL
    via Unsplash+ (Kateryna Hliznitsova)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    AITAH for kicking my DIL out for announcing her pregnancy during Christmas dinner?
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    Both of my sons are married. My daughters inlaw (Natalie) and (Renée) don't usually get along. Natalie is my youngest son (Joseph's) wife. She can be a little unreasonable at times and would accuse me of playing favorite just because I offer extra help to Renée and Adam because she struggled with miscarriages. Renée had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago. I found out Natalie is pregnant 4 days ago.
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    I hosted Christmas dinner and invited both my sons and their wives. But I warned Joseph and his wife to not mention anything about the pregnancy out of respect for Renée and Adam. Natalie tried to say that I was playing favorites again but I explained to her why I requested that.
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    We were sitting having dinner and conversing about random stuff. I noticed Joseph continually whispering to Natalie. I didn't pay it much attention as I thought it was private stuff. But I was surprised to see Natalie stand up and out of nowhere announce her pregnancy to the whole family. Despite the relatives rushing to congratulate her and Joseph, Renée just sat there almost crying. Adam immediately excused himself and went to the bathroom with her.
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    In that moment, I blew up at Natalie and told her to leave. Joseph started arguing about how shameful it was for me to react to the news like that. I told him he knew well why I was telling his wife to get out of my house but then she started crying. The family tried to calm me down but I wasn't having it. I insisted that she
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    leave. She and Joseph ended up leaving, dinner was cut short, and Renée and Adam stayed in the guests room and didn't talk to anybody. My husband tried to call Joseph since they left and blamed me for kicking Natalie out. The family agreed that what I did was wrong and that I'm the one who's supposed to keep the peace between my daughters inlaw regardless of who's right and who's wrong.
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    Everybody's upset over what happened and I'm being accused of escalating the situation. AITAH? I forgot to mention that when I told Natalie not to announce her pregnancy, she accused me of playing favorite and said that she was "going to proof it". Now kicking her out was (in her mind) the proof.
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    Strong_Arm8734 . 2h ago. Do you play favorites? The whole family is siding with Natalie and your son. That says something isn't adding up.
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    darrowreaper 2h ago. • I wonder if the rest of the family don't know about the miscarriage?
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    AnnieBeee96 1h ago • As someone who experienced my fourth miscarriage on the 18th of this month, YTA. Natalie deserved to be happy and be celebrated about her baby, it is completely understandable for Renee to be upset, as it will always hurt, but do you and her expect for the rest of the world
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    to stop spinning? No more babies allowed until she maybe someday gets one to stick? It isn't fair to the rest of the world and especially not to your newest grandchild that your didn't even care to celebrate
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    with everyone. The parents will forever remember how you reacted when they wanted to share the news with family, and I really hope you all make up before the baby is born and you're not able to see it.
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    mrwildesangst • 2h ago • You ain't seeing that grandkid. So congrats on that I guess.
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    keesouth 2h ago . Top 1% Commenter Info how long did you want them to wait? Do you expect them not to celebrate their pregnancy with the family because of your other DIL?
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    Potockinson2010 • 2h ago. Honestly, yes, I think YTA. I miscarried the week of Thanksgiving. My SIL announced that she was pregnant shortly after Christmas with a very unwanted pregnancy through a text. I was p ed I was told through a family text. I
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    was hurt that after listening to her say for weeks say that she couldn't ever imagine having another baby and loving that baby as much as her first, meanwhile my miscarriage was of a very wanted baby. I sobbed on my parent's kitchen floor.
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    My mother comforted me but reminded me that life doesn't stop just because I'm in mourning. Could they have been more graceful with it? More sensitive with it? Of course. But my emotions and how I deal with it is my issue. No one else's.
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    Your job as MIL is to celebrate milestones of all of your children, and teach your children how to work through the emotions of situations that arise. You don't shame or hide things that should be celebrated.
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    Artistic_Ebb3613 2h ago • Devils advocate? Are you maybe playing favorites a bit? Would you have reacted the same way if the roles were reversed? It kind of sounds like you just don't like Natalie and maybe don't favor your son who's married to her? Honestly you're the elder in that situation, supposed to be wise and reserved, you were kid of TAH.
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    MAGIC BABY No-Benefit-4018 • 1h ago MAGIC. YTA. And showing blatant favouritism. If I were dil, I would go NC
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    AdAccomplished 6870 2h ago • Top 1% Commenter Sorry, I am likely to get . downvoted for this, but to me, it absolutely feels like you are playing favorites. And forbidding one couple from sharing happy news with family because it might upset the DIL you always help seems pretty definitive.
    via u/AdAccomplished6870
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    If this were a single incident, I would be more on your side, but this sounds a lot like what the story the mother of a golden child would tell. YTA.
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    Strawhatluffy88 • 1h ago • YTA and now probably the grandparent who wonders why their grandchild doesn't even know who they are. Good luck with that. Hope golden child has the grandkid you actually want someday and you don't regret acting like such a pos
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    Sandyiam315 • 2h ago YTA. While im sure that a pregnancy for a sister-in-law is difficult to see immediately following a miscarriage it doesnt make Natalie any less pregnant. You did prove Renee is your favorite. I wouldn't plan on spending too much time with your grandchild.
    via u/Sandyiam315

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Babies daughter in law aita kids moms parenting dad in laws mother in law cute kids pregnant reddit thread parent Reddit raising kids Parenting Fail parents children Parenting FAILS
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