'I gave you sweets when you were 6 months and you turned out fine': Boomer grandma insists on giving chocolate to her 9-month-old granddaughter despite the babies mother's insistence that she can't have sweets until she's 2

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 30, 2024 6:00 PM EST

Babies are simple creatures. For the first months of their lives, they only need to drink a particular kind of milk, and they're good to go. As they grow, they can eat purees and other foods, but there's no reason to give them any of the highly addictive and unhealthy foods that we adults eat way more than we'd like to admit. If you can't get through a day without a can of Diet Coke or a bar of chocolate, you probably wouldn't wish that kind of dependence on a young child. That's why it's unconscionable to me that the grandma in this story is insistent on getting her granddaughter candy before she can even ask for it. I get that grandmas are supposed to spoil their grandkids, but this granny seems like she's intentionally trying to aggravate her daughter and go against her boundaries for the heck of it. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10448656896
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My mother desperately wants my baby to eat chocolate
    via u/Funny_Effect_9239
  • 03
    I've made a post like this before, my boomer mother is absolutely obsessed with trying to give my baby chocolate or sweets since she was 9 months old. Every time she comes over to my house to watch her she's asked to give her 'dessert' after lunch and then makes a deal of it when I say "No, she can't have sweets until she's at least two". I've already set this
    via u/Funny_Effect_9239
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    as a clear boundary. It's always "well I gave you sweets when you were 6 months and you turned out fine" & "You're depriving her, in my house we don't put sweets on a pedistal". It's my child, I've repeatedly told her that lots of sugar before 2 or 3 increases your chances for heart disease among other things. When my baby can ask me "Mom, can I have a piece?" i will say yes but until then- No.
    via u/Funny_Effect_9239
  • 05
    Anyways, my mother stocked my baby's christmas stocking full of chocolate. So disrespectful. I said "Wow look at all the chocolate for (husband) and I!" She frowned and said "no I bought that for (baby) (she is 1 year &4 months old)". I told her she can't have chocolate even if you buy it for her. The look on her face was priceless, she really thought I'de fold.
    via u/Funny_Effect_9239

  • She's trying to justify her past choices to her daughter and herself. Nobody likes to hear that they've failed in some aspect of parenting or have done something harmful, so they do everything they can to convince themselves that what they did was perfectly natural and if a parent doesn't do it, they're the wrong one. 

  • 06
    Boomers gonna boom. She isn't respecting your boundaries, so you need to set them far enough back that it doesn't matter whether or not she respects them. The overgrown child can't be trusted near the growing child, so they need to stay separated until at least one of them grows up.
    via u/AbruptMango
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    ZyxDarkshine Boomers gonna Boom. If the parent had said yes the very first time, Grandma may have did it once and be done with it. But Boomer grandma was told no, and that is what instigated this campaign to give the child chocolate.
    via u/ZyxDarkshine
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    This isn't about sweets, or what age is appropriate for sweets, or how grandma raised the parent: this is about power and control. As usual. Grandma was told no, and that just doesn't sit well with grandma because grandma knows what's right and young people today yadda yadda yadda.....
    via u/ZyxDarkshine
  • 09
    Snackgirl_Currywurst OR! you train them: Give your boomer a chocolate every time they accept a "no". Even if it just goes as far as "Would you like a coffee?" - "No, thanks." - "Ok." They'll either get conditioned or you'll at least have some fun on their dime.
    via u/Snackgirl_Currywurst
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    LissaBryan It's not about the chocolate. It's about you not immediately submitting to her as the Authority on All Things Baby.
    via u/LissaBryan

  • Imagine if it was about the chocolate and only the chocolate…"My grandbaby needs at least one square of dark chocolate a day, lest his cardiovascular health be utterly ruined."

  • 11
    She will continue to pick these fights with you. Boundaries to her are only temporary obstacles to be conquered. If you say you don't want your kid wearing a certain item, it will become life-or-death important to her to see your child dressed in it. If you say you don't want your kid watching certain movies, she will make it her life's mission to get your kid in front of that screen.
    via u/LissaBryan
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    The only solution is to remove her ability to try to force her decisions on you or your child. She's already pulled out the, "In my house ..." saying that her desires overrule your boundaries on her territory. Don't take your child to her territory.
    via u/LissaBryan
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    Funny_Effect_9239 OP It appears that you've met her already! Lol! Hit the nail on the head with that one. She obsesses over getting the last word in. I have so many examples. Non baby example... I have two dogs that get destructive outside in the yard with their toys. I re-purchased them a $40 'indestructible' ball that won't fall apart as long as they don't sit and rip it apart for a long period of time. My
    via u/Funny_Effect_9239
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    mother was watching them and let them rip apart that ball i bought them just two days prior. I told her I wasn't mad at her but disappointed they had ripped it apart, and just in the future to stop them from destroying anything clearly brand new. It was $40 wasted. She scoffed and told me to buy them a ball from the dollar store. I told her they would rip it apart in seconds and just create
    via u/Funny_Effect_9239
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    garbage in my yard. I only buy them 'indestructible' toys that last for a couple months if played with normally. She rolled her eyes. The next time she came over it was with a dollar store soccer ball. "You're welcome for the new ball". I told her to take it back home. She threw it into my yard and POP the dogs had already destroyed it. "Wow. Anyways..."
    via u/Funny_Effect_9239
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    yankeebelleyall It will never stop. In fact, if you don't set/hold some VERY strong boundaries now, it will get worse.
    via u/yankeebelleyall
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    Additional_Pie_8762 Thank you for this. I just had an epiphany about my own mother. Who constantly ignores and bulls through any attempt at boundaries. Because to me it's about her respecting me and my wishes. But to her it's about me not immediately respecting her authority. And driven by her fear and anxiety because our actual roles of authority have really reversed as she has aged and faced several medical crisis. This just sadly fits. Thank you.
    via u/Additional_Pie_8762
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    NovelPepper8443 These are my parents. My mom discussed corporal punishment with my husband when he picked her up from the airport on her way to meet her first grandchild! Also, kids aren't respected as valid human beings so they're not allowed to join in on conversations, hold an opinion counter to an adult's opinion and should just be silent at all times. And kids have no body autonomy and should be forced to give hugs and kisses to adults whether they like it or not. I hated being forced to hu
    via u/NovelPepper8443
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    YOU have control over your boundaries. My parents kept trying to enforce their rules at my home which we ignored. My son was 14 when we finally allowed him to spend the night at my parents' house. He was old enough to call us if something happened and also old enough to call 9-1-1/CPS if necessary. My younger daughter never did (and never will).
    via u/NovelPepper8443
  • 20
    pattypph1 More chocolate for you! My morbidly obese MIL would ask me why I didn't give my very young son sweets or chips. I told her I have control over what he eats for now, he has loads of time to make those choices later. She was shocked.
    via u/pattypph1
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    NoneOfThisMatters_XO "Well I did it with you and you turned out fine!" That always seems to be their comeback.
    via u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO
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    Gregshead Yep. I like to respond by listing all the ways I'm f ed up to point out the fact that I'm not, in fact, "fine". I usually get the surprised Pikachu face.
    via u/Gregshead
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    idril1 they don't understand why many of us loved time with our grandparents and assume it was treats - especially as those who lived through the depre s on did think of cake/sweets as extra special treats.
    via u/idril1
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    What they are missing, because they didn't actually like parenting, is that it was the time, time honestly spent enjoying being with us - so they use their own standards
    via u/idril1
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    My mum, who was a paediatric nurse ffs, is exactly the same, and filled the cupboards with stuff I was never allowed as a child, but wouldn't spend 10 minutes just playing with her grandkids
    via u/idril1
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    yankeebelleyall Yes! I used to spend time with my great- grandmother when I was little and my boomer about her "spoiling mom was always really me" with junk food - because we would bake together. It wasn't about the cookies - it was about spending time with an adult that acted like they cared about me. She would tell me stories from her childhood and about family members that I never got to meet. I would spend whole weekends with her - not for baked goods, but to get away from my toxic boomer pa
    via u/yankeebelleyall
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    HarrietsDiary It's very odd to see my parents as grandparents. They both complained nonstop when I was growing up that their parents ignored them and didn't spend time with them.
    via u/HarrietsDiary
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    My grandparents-both sets-lavished us with time. One grandmother taught me to cook, another to sew. My grandfather and I built a brick patio and he also taught me to fly a kite and how to balance a checkbook. My other grandfather loved playing cards. We played endless games.
    via u/HarrietsDiary
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    They...watch tv with the grandkids I guess. And the age gap isn't any different. In fact; the kite- flying check book balancing grandpa was older. I don't get it. They buy the grandkids a lot of stuff, though.
    via u/HarrietsDiary
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    Rassayana_Atrindh When my daughter first started solids my boomer mom kept trying to force me to start her out on fruits and other sweet baby foods, and I refused. But mom kept pressing, "She'll like the sweet fruit foods so much better! You did, and you turned out fine!" "Mom, I've been fat my whole life and now diabetic, I'm not sure it worked out so well." That shut her up.
    via u/Rassayana_Atrindh
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    Instead I started her on vegetable and the meat baby foods. She did fine. I didn't introduce the fruit stuff until after she was over a year old, and even then sparingly. She's 6 years old now and still loves her vegetables, nothing like asking for seconds of steamed kale or Brussel sprouts at Christmas dinnerto surprise the old folks at the table.
    via u/Rassayana_Atrindh

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candy sweets Babies family drama baby mother grandma motherhood moms parenting chocolate family grandparents grandparent grandmother mom parents
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