Fully remote HR rep denies employee's request to work from home due to childcare: 'It is 100% about control'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Jan 13, 2025 8:00 AM EST

It's hard to comply with your employer when they're being hypocritical. Unfortunately, most employees have to deal with this stark reality at some point in their careers. Even when you think you've earned a place of respect among your supervisors and those above you in the workplace hierarchy, one of those higher-ups is going to pull some nonsense that only they can get away with on the job.

This is why every manager should ask themselves if they would be willing to do whatever it is they are asking of the people working for them. In many ways, that moment of self-reflection is at the heart of strong leadership, but because leaders seldom take a moment to do this, strong leadership is difficult to find. Keep scrolling below to hear this employee's anecdote about having to work from home due to childcare and having his request denied by a hypocritical human resources representative.

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    control 4 B T Y 3 S D F G " 1 K L Z x C V B N M 4
    via Chris Montgomery

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This employee had a proven track record of being able to work remotely one day a week without inconveniencing any of the members of his team (or anyone else at the company, for that matter) after his child was born. During those early months, there was a period when his mother-in-law stepped in to help, which allowed him to return to work five days a week for a short interim, knowing he would have to go back to four days eventually. However, his fully remote HR rep seemed to think otherwise about this…

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    I have a 6 month old daughter and my wife and I have worked out a good schedule that allows us to take care of her for the 4 days a week that we both have to work.
    via slicebishybosh
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    Part of this would require me to work from home 1 day a week (the same day every week). I was able to do it for a few weeks at the end of last year but for the last 2 months my MIL has been in town living with us and taking full care of our daughter while we are at work.
    via slicebishybosh
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    Fast Forward to yesterday and I request to be able to work from home the one day again. I'm told "We thought you would have figured out a solution by now. You are required to be at work every day."
    via slicebishybosh
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    This was told to me by the Head of HR who was conferenced called into the meeting because they work remotely (in another city).
    via slicebishybosh
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    There are several others in prominent positions that work remotely full time, part time, or whenever they choose.
    via slicebishybosh
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    Several others, including the owners sons/nephews will say the morning of "They're working from home because the nanny is sick" and that's if they they even bother showing up. The WFH is a free for all and so many use it and others ab__e it.
    via slicebishybosh
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    They claim my role requires me to be in the office every day. There are definitely aspects of my role that require me to be physically there. But there is more than plenty that doesn't require me to be there as well. I laid out my plan of what I would be accomplishing at home, but that didn't matter.
    via slicebishybosh
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    They claim my 1 day of remote work would create a burden for others. (It wouldn't, I've talked to those who I directly work with and they are fine with it)
    via slicebishybosh
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    Meanwhile all the others I mentioned that are remote create a daily burden for all the rest of us. It is 100% about control. Some days I like my job. Others days I absolutely hate it.
    via slicebishybosh
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    Cheezburger Image 10453309952
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Folks chimed in with their thoughts and reactions to HR's hypocrisy. Don't we think it's ludicrous to have a fully remote HR representative when other roles are considered mandatory for in-person work? if you're managing all the people in the company, you should probably be in the office at least some of the time…

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    Cozarkian 3 hr. ago Yep, it's about control to the point of stupidity. At my work, anyone in my position who has been there for 2 years can remote 4 days per week. They pay for my public transportation and will reimburse me for parking 2x
    via slicebishybosh
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    per month if for some reason "I need to drive." On top of that, last year they started giving a parking stipend to employees. assigned to a location that doesn't have free parking available, so now I get a parking stipend that I never have to spend on parking because I get free transportation and 2x per month parking reimbursement.
    via slicebishybosh
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    Every piece of paper that comes into the office gets scanned, so I can do 100% of my work on a computer, I rarely talk to anyone other than two admins when I'm in the office, and the nature of my job is deadline-driven, so if I slack off it will be noticed and I'll be fired within a week.
    via slicebishybosh
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    Given the number of people with my position, the company could save about $6,000 per month by letting us work remote 5 days per week without any loss of productivity, but no, the executive-level officers have firmly decided that nobody can ever be allowed to work from home 5 days per week for ... reasons.
    via slicebishybosh
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    It's a very dumb decision based on the need to feel in control and the delusion of keeping an "office community," but overall, I'm not complaining.
    via slicebishybosh
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    slicebishybosh OP 2 hr. ago The community used to be something I enjoyed, actually. It is far from that now.
    via slicebishybosh
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    RahulRedditor 3 hr. ago. That Start a job search; plenty of employers offer hybrid work.
    via slicebishybosh
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    Washedupcynic 53 min. ago Time to find another job that better meets your needs and give this company the heave
    via slicebishybosh
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    davenport651 - 58 min. ago I know you can't do it with a wife and kids depending on you (I've been there!), but this is one of those times when it would be totally appropriate to draw a hard line and say "if you can't meet this basic accommodation, I'm done." I'd guess they'd turn over really quick if you actually walked away. They know they have you by the now because of your situation.
    via slicebishybosh

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