Couple kicked out of granddaughter's birthday party after refusing to remove shoes indoors, daughter-in-law lays down the law: 'You can get out of my house if you can't follow a simple request'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jan 14, 2025 6:00 PM EST

Howdy, cowgirls of the internet. Every household has its rules, and when you are invited as a guest, you are expected to adhere to them. Some house rules make perfect sense. For example, many people do not allow pets on their furniture, and guests should not encourage them to hop up no matter how cute they are. When visiting a religious household, you might be expected to cover up a bit more than you're used to. Some hosts are very strict about not allowing guests to help wash the dishes after dinner, and you might get told off for even attempting.

In our story today, our protagonist comes from a culture where people remove their shoes before entering a home to avoid bringing in dirt. Her American in-laws, where this particular house rule does exist but varies from household to household, refuse to adhere to the law of her land — despite her even offering spa slippers to wear around! To find out how this story ends, scroll down below. 

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  • 01

    AITA for kicking out my partner's dad (and family) from my daugher's birthday party?

    I told my partner to tell them to take off their shoes please. The other guests were happy to comply, and I thought they would do the same. Well, they didn't and just kept walking aroud inside the with their shoes on, stepping on the rugs and mats. I politely asked again, but his dad grunted and said, “Our shoes are clean, we wash them weekly."
    via pundapanda

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I kicked them out because they refused to take off their shoes as it's a celebration at our house.
    via u/Rreirarei
  • 03
    For backstory, it was my daughter's first birthday. My partner is white and I am asian. It has been the norm in our household to keep shoes off when we're at home and we also wear indoor footwear/ slippers. I have always kept spa slippers for guests in variety of sizes in case some are not comfortable in going barefoot. I have always kept my house clean and have always maintained outdoor shoes/ footwear off when inside our house. Not only does it
    via u/Rreirarei
  • 04
    makes cleaning floors easy, the thought of carrying germs inside is gross and scary to me. It's also a cultural norm for us as well to keep shoes off as a sign of respect to the owners of the house. Now my daughter's birthday has come. The first few guests have arrived and has taken cue that shoes should be off and I've offered spa slippers and some were happy to wear them and some just went barefoot inside.
    via u/Rreirarei
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10453837056
    via Studio Japan

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    Now my partner's dad and his fiance arrived along with their children (His parents are divorced). And they went straight in with their filthy shoes on. Like really gross looking shoes, that were not clean looking and you can see the dirt sticking to my tiles.
    via u/Rreirarei
  • 07
    I told my partner to tell them to take off shoes please because the other guests were happy to comply and thought they would do the same. Well they didn't do that and just kept walking around inside with the shoes on and stepping on the rugs and mats with it. I politely asked again, but his dad grunted and said "our shoes are clean, we always wash them weekly" I pointed out the dirt on the floor and he said it's the dirt from when they walk on our front yard so it"s mainly part of our house. I
    via u/Rreirarei
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10453837312
    via Africa Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    explained again that kids and most especially his grandchild crawls around our floor and since it's her birthday to just take their shoes off the mat where she crawls. This time he seems offended and started with why I am making such a big deal out of wearing shoes inside when it's a party anyway and I'm ruining such an important day because I could not bend a little rule for one day. And it's white people culture to not take their shoes off anyway.
    via u/Rreirarei
  • 10
    That's when I lost it and said they can get out of my house if they can't do a simple request. And they left and my partner said I should've just let it go since they travelled quite far to come for our daughter's birthday and I'm an a h le for not being considerate for only one day.
    via u/Rreirarei
  • 11
    So AITA? Wow this got so much attention and I'm showing this to my partner!
    via u/Rreirarei
  • 12
    Posted this on comments: Before having our baby, when they used to visit they know we have a shoes off rule at our old apartment. My partner has always pointed this out to them but I would not make a fuss because they only see us on occasion - like maybe once/twice a year. This time though, we moved to a bigger house and I have a one year old that crawls around and it's mainly because there are other babies and kids too especially in the play area. I was
    via u/Rreirarei

  • It really sounds like these in-laws showed up just to cause trouble!

  • 13
    adjusting to the thought that they can wear shoes then on other areas of the house except on her playmat (it's a very large foamy/soft playmat that covers most of the room) but they didn't want to follow on that either. Even their children hasn't taken off their shoes when they started to hung out with the other kids to play and that's where the blow-up happened. He wanted to hand my daughter their gift in the playroom when we also have a designated area to put the gifts.
    via u/Rreirarei
  • 14
    And people commenting about the slippers: they are those disposable spa slippers (bought off at amazon like $10 for 20pcs) that I threw out once used except for my usual guests which are my close friends who now has their own slippers marked in my house.
    via u/Rreirarei
  • 15
    NTA. pottersquash they can get out of my house if they can't do a simple request. You are exactly right.
    via u/pottersquash
  • 16
    mlc885 Pretty much. It isn't a major request. If somebody is embarrassed and needs to wear shoes they can, you know, mention it privately or talk about it prior to next time. (As awkward as that would all be)
    via u/mlc885
  • 17
    It's easy to assume what we grew up with is normal or the default, but in many countries, there's no such thing.
    via u/Particular_Fig5152

  • I grew up in a shoes-on household. In fact, putting on shoes was a part of getting dressed in the morning, and me and parents would wear shoes around even if we didn't leave the house at all. That said, my family is from a part of the world where most houses are tiled and the environment is a bit dusty, so the floor would get cleaned daily anyway.

  • 18
    Also, I think most people would be annoyed by "the man says blah blah blah" since nobody is letting their FIL make annoying proclamations. We don't wear shoes in the house so you don't wear shoes in the house, you aren't the furnace repair guy, you're family.
    via u/mlc885
  • 19
    diminishingpatience NTA at all. When you pointed out the dirt that they trailed into your home, the response was idiotic.
    via u/diminishingpatience
  • 20
    Gul_nonstop NTA. It is not white culture to walk inside with shoes. It is common in the US. Here in Norway, where there is a lot of white people, we do not wear shoes inside. It is dirty and disrespectful. Same in Iceland, where my partner is from and we lived as well. So f him, your house, your rules. Your husband sk for not standing up towards his father. Make your husband clean the floors and carpets.n
    via u/Gul_nonstop
  • 21
    Federal_Share3954 It is not that common in the US. All my friends automatically take their shoes off unless they have orthopedic issues or my 100 year old grandmother.
    via u/Federal_Share3954
  • 22
    NTA Fave MiddleChild Even if it wasnt a cultural thing how hard is it to respect someone's house rules? Your guest could, they aren't all family and yet it wasnt a big deal for them so why was it a big deal for your FIL that he cant take his shoes off?
    via u/FaveMiddleChild
  • 23
    Cheezburger Image 10453837568
    via Lisa Fotios from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 24
    You didnt ruin the day, he did just because he couldnt take his shoes off. You're in your right to be mad, its YOUR home. Its not even just a cultural thing for you, you're now also thinking about the safety of your child who crawls all over the floor.
    via u/FaveMiddleChild
  • 25
    I'm sure he has his own house rules, and I'm sure he'd be p ed if they werent followed. Again, how hard is it to remove your shoes lol you provide slippers but hey he wants to be stubborn so he's missing out on an important day because he wants to be a ____
    via u/FaveMiddleChild
  • 26
    Review Ok929 The only a h les here are the people who couldn't acquiesce to a perfectly reasonable request from the person whose home they were in. It's your house and you don't have to accept dirt being tracked through it. Would have been easy enough for them to do this rather than di on that hill. NTA
    via u/ReviewOk929
  • 27
    Usrname52 Did they know the rule before hand? I was invited to a party the other day, and the host sent an email specifically saying they don't allow shoes inside.
    via u/Usrname52
  • 28
    As someone with embarrassing issues with my feet, I like to know this in advance to make sure I'm wearing appropriate socks or bring something with me. My feet would likely not fit into someone else's slippers due to medical reasons, and I would be absolutely humiliated if that happened. I don't know what "spa slippers" are, but I'd probably be in tears if it involved any having to show my feet.
    via u/Usrname52
  • 29
    Particular_Fig5152 I'm sorry that you are suffering from a medical issue. As someone with a myriad of issues, I always assume that there's a very good chance a house has a no shoes policy and plan accordingly. I think it's common enough - and nigh on universal in many Asian cultures- that I would not show up and presume wearing shoes indoors are ok.
    via u/Particular_Fig5152
  • 30
    I'm not saying this to poke at you, but rather as a warning that you probably should always have socks or medically-appropriate house shoes. Many of my elderly clients and clients who need assistance walking do so. Because in the USA it's not an insubstantial amount of people who have a no shoes policy.
    via u/Particular_Fig5152
  • 31
    You can't and should not for your own safety - and comfort- assume you would be able to wear shoes indoors someone else's house. Unless you live in a country where shoes on is a near universal rule. And I don't know of any such country.
    via u/Particular_Fig5152

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family drama shoes cleaning marriage married with children Female Empowerment reddit story relationships slippers couples father in law mother in law love reddit thread red flag Reddit
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