Entitled new mom demands her 20-year-old cousin fork up their entire savings to cover baby costs, guilt-tripping them into foregoing their dream of studying abroad: ‘She said my dream is just a ’luxury' compared to her needs'

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  • "I've been saving for my lifelong dream"
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  • "Refusing to give my cousin the money I've been saving for my lifelong dream"

    I (20F) have been saving for a study abroad program since I was 18. It's not just a trip - it's been my dream for years to travel, learn, and grow outside of my home town. I've worked endless shifts, skipped
  • vacations, and sacrificed so much to finally have enough money to make it happen. I've been counting down the days. Enter my cousin (23F). She's recently pregnant and struggling financially. Last
  • week, she came to me asking for money to help with baby expenses. Not a small amount either basically everything - I've saved. She called it "a family emergency" and said it's my duty to help because,
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  • according to her, my dream trip is just "a luxury" compared to her needs. When I said no, she flipped out. She accused me of being selfish, heartless, and not caring about her or her baby.
  • She told me I can just "save up again", like two years of hard work can magically be redone overnight. Then he mom (my aunt) chimed in, saying I'm a terrible family member and that I'll regret this when I', older. My cousin
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  • even told the rest of my family, and now everyone is texting me, saying I'm prioritizing a "vacation" over her child's future. I've worked so hard for this, and I don't feel like it's fair to
  • give it all up just because she didn't plan her life better. But the guilt trips are getting to me, and now I'm questioning myself. Am I being selfish for wanting to protect something I've worked years to achieve?
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  • Adventurous-Emu-755 You should respond to those other family members, "Then you give her the money - you all can all chip in and probably have more than what I saved!" You are not obligated to pay for her baby - the baby's father is, so perhaps they need to go that route!
  • Lopsided-Holiday-886 Exactly! Shift the focus to other family members helping your cousin. Reply to every message (do not take calls) with, "Thank you for volunteering to donate to the cousin, I'll pass her your number".
  • Your priority is that study program that will shape your career and your future and help you not to end up making bad choices like getting pregnant young without financial security and financial means to support that child without coercing everyone else into supporting
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  • you financially. Tell your parents that they should be supporting of you getting better in life instead they want you to struggle for someone else's stupidity. Make sure not to keep your money (or bank account information) at home, so your parents can't take your savings and give it to your cousin.
  • floofienewfie I suspect that at the age of 23, your cousin is not used to having to depend on herself for everything. She is working the old family helps family thing. Also, people like this never pay money back. They just don't.
  • After this, you will probably not want to discuss anything financial with her. Remember that the word "no" is a complete sentence. You do not owe her any explanations. So, please go study abroad and enjoy yourself.
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  • cody99maria This cousin better be joking... Cos how the h I can you say "You can just save up again"... honestly, I'd have smacked her if she said that in my face cos ... She is not entitled to your money.... Stay focused on your dreams and let no one tell you otherwise

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