'They used to call me mom and dad's mistake': 4 older siblings force their 16-year-old 'accident' younger brother to babysit for their kids unpaid, exclude him from family vacations and get-togethers

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 14, 2025 6:00 PM EST

It can be pretty obvious when a child is a "mistake." We all know at least one family who had kids relatively young, and when those kids were nearly grown up, their parents randomly had a much younger baby from an unintentional geriatric pregnancy. One of the most famous oops babies of the modern era is Frankie Jonas, the younger brother of the three primary Jonas Brothers. We, the public, christened him with the cruel nickname "The Bonus Jonas," playing on the obvious accident of his birth. 

Not all mistake babies are unwanted. After all, even though their parents didn't mean to have them, somehow they were had! My sister's boyfriend's mom didn't have him until she was 50, and he's a well-loved, thriving, crucial member of their family unit. Being a mistake in conception does not mean that a kid won't go on to be a blessing in disguise. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10454774016
    via Blake Cheek

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Unfortunately, parents don't always accept their oops babies as equal family members. The parents and older siblings in this story have made it clear that they don't care about their teenage son/brother in the slightest and only value his ability to provide free childcare to his nieces and nephews.

  • 02

    AITA for refusing to babysit for my siblings anymore and telling my family they can't use me as free childcare and treat me like **** for being an unwanted pregnancy?

    I (16M) have four older siblings who are 11+ years older than me. My parents were finished at four kids, my dad got a vasectomy and then six years after it my mom found out she was expecting me. She was 13 weeks when they found out and I was always told if she'd been earlier she would have aborted me. My siblings hated that our parents
    via u/SharpAddendum9864
  • 03
    had another kid. They're all close enough but with me I feel like a stranger and it's not just the age gap. They used to call me "mom and dad's mistake" and "mom and dad's oops" and stuff like that. They'd come home for Christmas and ignore me or make comments about me. They'd buy gifts for each other and nothing for me.
    via u/SharpAddendum9864
  • 04
    My parents also treated me like a burden. When I was younger they'd call me whiny and ask why I couldn't read my own bedtime stories or why I wanted to sit with them. If I asked for a hug they'd make it such a big deal and say they just wanted me to go away
    via u/SharpAddendum9864
  • 05
    and be quiet in my room. When I had a bad day they were "too busy" to hear me out. Most times they would eat without me too. And sometimes I'd come home and some or all of my siblings would be visiting and they'd have family dinners without me.
    via u/SharpAddendum9864
  • 06
    Oh, the family dinners they had in restaurants and stuff never included me either. And once my siblings started having kids I was the default babysitter. If we all vacationed together I was only brought along to watch kids. Sometimes I was left in the hotel or place we
    via u/SharpAddendum9864
  • 07
    were staying alone and they'd have family time. My siblings would just drop off their kids other times at home and tell me to babysit and my parents would give them the okay. I was never asked.
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  • 08
    HOME
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    I know people will ask if I'm not the bio kid of one of my parents but I'm both their bio kid. 100% confirmed. It's just I came along when they were done and they resent me for it and my siblings never wanted me.
    via u/SharpAddendum9864
  • 10
    I tried speaking to my parents and my siblings about how I felt but I'm brushed aside. I never tried writing a letter but it won't make a difference and I'm not pouring my heart out like that to have them not read the letter or to toss it in the trash or something.
    via u/SharpAddendum9864
  • 11
    I got so tired of it recently. I've been spending more time at my girlfriends house and I hang out with her family more. I started to stay there whenever I feel like they might need me for babysitting and I have refused when told I needed to. On Saturday they wanted to have a family night out and brought the kids over but I wasn't home.
    via u/SharpAddendum9864
  • 12
    Mom called and told me I needed to come home and babysit. I told her to let everyone know that they can't use me as free childcare and treat me like sh for being an unwanted pregnancy anymore. I said I didn't have any say in it and I'm not letting them do this to me anymore.
    via u/SharpAddendum9864
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    Cheezburger Image 10454780672
    via Christian Buehner

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    Their reaction wasn't pretty but I have stood my ground which AITA? them all off.
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  • 15
    Rude_Vermicelli2268 NTA Print up a fee schedule and include "payment required in advance of services". Let's see how that goes.
    via u/Rude_Vermicelli2268
  • 16
    Whisperingg Wind I agree with you— OP You're definitely not the a hole here Setting boundaries with your family is completely valid, especially when you're being used for childcare without any consideration for your own needs. It's okay to stand up for yourself and seek healthier relationships, even if it means distancing yourself from toxic behavior.
    via u/Whisperingg_Wind
  • 17
    Latonya_Boise it's frustrating OP's family has made him feel like a burden for simply existing. Stand your ground, OP.
    via u/Latonya_Boise
  • 18
    MeekMezozoicMammal He's been treated like Cinderella his whole life. It's actually disgusting AND beyond tragic.
    via u/MeekMezozoicMammal
  • 19
    Graphite57 Good on you for telling them no.. Stick with it. ΝΤΑ If they rock up to drop the kids off.. walk out.
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  • 20
    Temporary-Laugh-227 Or better yet have it in writing that you said no and call cps/cops for child abandonment
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  • 21
    kokojacks NTA, and when you turn 18, cut them off. Toxic family is worse then a toxic friend
    via u/kokojacks
  • 22
    Leading Line2741 I agree. I see some responses here telling OP to do this and that, seemingly forgetting that he's a minor (16) and kinda at their mercy to an extent. The most he can really do at this point is speak his mind, and maybe walk out when they attempt to get him to babysit (if he has somewhere to
    via u/Leading_Line2741
  • 23
    go). It would be nice if he could get a job and start trying to save some money, but that requires reliable transportation. At 18, though? As you said, he needs to gtfo. I can't believe an entire family would treat him so poorly. They're POSs.
    via u/Leading_Line2741
  • 24
    Cautious_Session9788 Yea that's what's frustrating about the current top comments Because it'd be great if OP could go out in a blaze of glory, but at 16 it's likely their parents pay for phone, have their names are on OPs bank account, if OP has a car or access to a car the parents names will also be on it
    via u/Cautious_Session9788
  • 25
    So all points of escape are in the control of OPS parents OP can probably get away with quiet resistance but if they start openly rebelling then that just gives their family a reason to get worse
    via u/Cautious_Session9788
  • 26
    Sidewalk Tomato This is complicated, and I do not envy you, but you can start by turning off your Read Receipts in your phone so they can't tell if you've read anything, turning off your location, and not replying to their calls and texts. If you get confronted: "Oh sorry, I was studying." "Oh, the buses stopped running." Be oblivious. Find a way to wiggle out of vacations. Getting time to yourself is its own vacation.
    via u/Sidewalk_Tomato
  • 27
    Get a part-time job if you can, open up a bank account at a bank they don't use, and have the statements emailed to you (no physical mail) but especially since you're young, do your actual transactions in person. There's a lot of bank phishing these days. I have never regretted being weird and doing my transactions at the actual bank, for multiple reasons. Save that money and keep standing your ground.
    via u/Sidewalk_Tomato
  • 28
    Old Tiger_7519 NTA this is just so sad. My parents also had an "oops", I was the youngest of 3 for 14 years when he was born and we 3 older siblings absolutely adored our baby brother. We helped raise and care for him and spoiled him with love and attention. This is how it should be.
    via u/Old_Tiger_7519
  • 29
    uhyeahsouh Start turning their kids against them. Nothing tastes better than being the favorite. Behind everyone's backs. You've got this though little bro. Not all family is real family, but these kids could very well be the best family you could ever have in a few years.
    via u/uhyeahsouh

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teens family drama babysitter brother sibling rivalry teenagers siblings bad parenting mistakes little brother bad parents babysitting family sibling sister mistake
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