Mother grounds daughter after finding out she has been mocking a classmate with reading difficulties, daughter insists it 'wasn't a big deal' and refuses to abide by her punishment

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 17, 2025 8:00 PM EST

When we were kids and watched The Little Mermaid, we all used to think that Ariel's father was so horrible to her because he wouldn't let her throw her life away to go live with a boy she just met out on the land. She was 16 and in love, and it was so romantic and lovely, and we couldn't understand why King Triton wouldn't support her wishes and back her up. Ugh, parents are the worst, aren't they?

Wrong. They are not the worst. They are actually extremely reasonable people, which we all can understand now because we're adults with fully developed brains and some common sense.

Ariel, seriously, you are 16 years old and you want to uproot your entire life for a boy you just met, and didn't even talk to? Absolutely not. King Triton has our full support for how he handled that entire situation.

Where we're going with this is, to stress that while kids think their parents understand nothing about them, growing up is realizing that parents know a lot and understand much better than kids think, so maybe they should actually listen to them.

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  • The mom in the story below wants her daughter to understand that what she did was wrong. She wasn't going to let her daughter brush off her bad behavior, but after one conversation, it was clear that the daughter wasn't remorseful at all. 

    So the mother took a stricter approach, one that the daughter was not happy about, to say the least.

    Keep scrolling to read the full story, and let us know what you would have done if you were in the mother's shoes.

  • "She needs to learn that actions have consequences"
    via atlasstudio

  • "AITA for not letting my daughter go to her cheer competition and grounding her for four months?"

    I (42F) attend church regularly and have a 15-year-old daughter named Abby. Abby is part of the church's youth group, and I sometimes volunteer as a youth leader.
    via Scary_Inevitable959u
  • There's a girl in the group named Zoey (16F) who lives with her grandparents. During one session, we were taking turns reading from the Bible. Each time it was Zoey' turn,
    via Scary_Inevitable959u
  • she asked to skip. Initially, I let her skip because I thought she might have anxiety. However, after the fifth time she asked to skip, I told her we couldn't keep skipping her
    via Scary_Inevitable959u
  • turn. When she started reading, it became clear she struggled significantly, mispronouncing many words. Later, I learned that Zoey' only learned how to read around age 12, so she's still working
    via Scary_Inevitable959u
  • on her literacy skills. Halfway through, I told Zoey' she didn't have to continue reading. Later, I found out that Abby had been making fun of Zoey for her reading difficulties.
    via Scary_Inevitable959u
  • She would sarcastically ask Zoey to read things, like words on posters, and would exaggerate stumbling over words when reading aloud to mock her. I didn't know this was happening until one day, I
    via Scary_Inevitable959u
  • walked into the kitchen and found Zoey crying on her grandmother's lap, explaining Zoey' Abby had been saying to her. Zoey' then told me everything, and I promised I would handle it.
    via Scary_Inevitable959u
  • Cheezburger Image 10455562240
    via andresr

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • When Abby and I got home, I asked her about it. She admitted to making the comments but dismissed them as harmless and "not a big deal." Abby is on her school's cheerleading team
    via Scary_Inevitable959u
  • and had a competition coming up, so I told her, "If it's not a big deal, then it won't be a big deal for you to miss the competition this weekend." Abby froze and started pleading with me, saying,
    via Scary_Inevitable959u
  • "You have to let me go! It's different-what I did wasn't a big deal. Everyone is counting on me. Don't do this to me!" I told her, "If it wasn't a big deal, then you'll explain to
    via Scary_Inevitable959u
  • your team why you're not going. Tomorrow, you'll also apologize to Zoey in front of the group and write her a note to express your regret." Abby started pleading with me, asking me not to make her do it.
    via Scary_Inevitable959u
  • She screamed at me, "Mom, you're being a ah_le!" I replied, "You just earned yourself a grounding on top of this." She stormed into her room, slammed the door, and punched a hole in the wall. At that point, I decided to ground her for four months.
    via Scary_Inevitable959u
  • I later spoke to Zoey's grandmother to explain the situation and how I handled it. She agreed that the consequences I gave Abby were appropriate and would help her understand the impact of her actions.
    via Scary_Inevitable959u
  • mustang 19671967 Also tell her to watch YouTube on fixing a hole in the wall ( pretty easy) and say here are your tools and supplies. The painting will come later
    via mustang_19671967
  • Disastrous Pan_2015 As a person who was bu ied by a fellow peer, don't have her do a public apology, for me a teacher made that happen during class and not only did it mortify me but it also brought
    via Disastrous_Pan_2015
  • attention to the issue and created more bu ies towards me. Other than that I think it's a fair punishment and she needs to learn that actions have consequences, I know a lot of teams have a code of conduct towards their players so maybe discuss with her coach about it as well.
    via Disastrous_Pan_2015
  • Slight-Book2296 NTA. What Abby did was pretty cruel, and grounding her seems like a solid way to show her the consequences of her actions. It was a harsh move, but honestly, it seems like she needs it.
    via Slight-Book2296
  • Shot-Artichoke-4106 NTA, but in addition to punishment, your daughter needs to develop some empathy, anger management, and coping techniques. I don't think a 4 month grounding is going to accomplish that. Also,
    via Shot-Artichoke-4106
  • that seems like a 4 month grounding is unrealistic, so you will likely let her off the hook early after she's learned nothing. It seems to me that a shorter duration grounding combined with somethings to help her become a better
    via Shot-Artichoke-4106
  • person might be in order. Maybe something where she can earn her privileges back. Education and understanding about learning disabilities and the impact of her terrible behavior. Discussions about what she's learned. Perhaps some volunteering. Apologies all around, of course. And fixing the wall.
    via Shot-Artichoke-4106
  • And I agree with the others that Zoey's grandmother's opinion about your approach is not relevant. This is your daughter who behaved badly and it is your responsibility to help her become a better person.
    via Shot-Artichoke-4106

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