'I prefer mashed potatoes with less butter': New girlfriend consistently insults boyfriend's sister's cooking, sister bans her from her house

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jan 21, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Everyone has their own preferences when it comes to food. For example, I have a friend who puts extra salt on almost everything, sometimes even before she tastes it. She just knows that she's probably going to require more salt, so she goes ahead and sprinkles it on there. Some of us need everything to be piping hot before we eat it. I would personally rather eat cold pizza than heat it up in the microwave or the oven. And some of us have a significantly lower spice tolerance than others. I can handle my spice pretty well, but if an especially hot pepper hits my tongue, my face will turn as red as a Red Delicious apple.

Whatever your tastes, though, manners are incredibly important, especially if someone else is cooking for you. Cooking requires a huge amount of effort, so if someone has gone to the trouble of doing that for you, you better not have anything to say but "thank you." 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10455827968
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's not what one woman did, though, who couldn't quite keep her opinions to herself in a precarious situation. When you're meeting a significant other's family for the first time, it's prudent to be especially grateful and keep your mouth closed when it behooves you. Read on for the story and see what you think. 

  • 02

    AITA for telling my brother's gf she's not welcome at my house anymore after she insulted my cooking?

    Ok so this happend last weekend and im still so mad about it. I (32F) hosted a small dinner at my place for my family and my brother (29M) brought his new gf (26F) who I've only met once before. She seemed nice enough before but now idk.
    via u/IllustriousCream663
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    So I made a bunch of dishes, spent like two days preparing bc I wanted everything to be perfect. Cooking is kind of my thing, everyone in the family always compliments me on it. I made roast chicken, mashed potatoes, salad, homemade bread - like a full spread.
    via u/IllustriousCream663
  • 04
    Anyway, we sit down to eat and everyone's saying how good everything is, but then the gf goes "Oh, this chicken is kinda dry, did you overcook it?" Like in the middle of dinner. Everyone got quiet and I just kinda laughed it off like "Haha, well I guess not everyone likes my cooking."
    via u/IllustriousCream663
  • 05
    But she didn't stop. She kept making these little comments like "I prefer mashed potatoes with less butter" and "This salad could use more dressing." I was so embarrased and upset but I didnt say anything in the moment.
    via u/IllustriousCream663
  • 06
    After everyone left, I texted my brother and said she's not welcome at my house anymore. He got super mad and said I'm overreacting and she was just being honest. He said I should apologize for being r de to her. I said no way, she was the ride one!
    via u/IllustriousCream663
  • 07
    Now my brother and I aren't talking and my mom says I should just let it go bc its not a big deal. But I feel like she crossed a line! AITA for banning her from my house?
    via u/IllustriousCream663
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    Cheezburger Image 10455828224
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09

    Commenters were quick to come to her defense, in the name of good manners.

    phillip42069 · 14h ago NTA. A person who actually knows food wouldn't offer comments like that in that setting
    via u/phillip42069
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    Con4America 14h ago • NTA. Keep your spine and don't cave. GF was the r de one. Your brother is thinking with the wrong head.
    via u/Con4America
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    • kidney-displacer 14h ago You can be honest without being rode and it's considered tactful to not say things like that when someone went to all the effort to provide. Something else to think about is sometimes people act weird during a first impression.
    via u/kidney-displacer
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    Your brother is in the honeymoon phase, but this might not be something he's willing to put up with long term. NTA
    via u/kidney-displacer
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    kam49ers4ever. 14h ago NTA. Your food could have been terrible and it still would have been ride for her to make those comments. She obviously has never been taught any manners.
    via u/kam49ers4ever
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    Twinkling MoonCharm_ .7h ago You're not the a h le. That was pretty rode of her to keep criticizing your food, especially in front of everyone. You spent time and effort making the meal, and instead of appreciating it, she chose to be overly critical. I get that people may have
    via u/TwinklingMoonCharm_
  • 15
    preferences, but there's a time and place for it, and interrupting the meal like that wasn't cool. You don't need to apologize for standing your ground. Honestly, if someone was that disrespectful in my home, I'd feel the same way about not wanting them over again. Your brother needs to understand that.
    via u/TwinklingMoonCharm_
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    Effecti... ⚫14h ago Edited 14h ago • You can be critical of food if you're the one who cooked it, or you can be critical of others' cooking if they explicitly ask you for honest critiques in order to improve future versions of the meal, or you can be critical of the cooking if you have paid a
    via u/Effective-You8456
  • 17
    caterer/restaraunt/cafe and the food isn't worth what you've paid for it ---- but that's... it. I can't think of other times that it's ok to criticise a meal. Especially not a meal that someone else has cooked for you, as part of a pleasant social evening. And ESPECIALLY not as a girlfriend coming into the house and being presented with a full spread of home-cooked food.
    via u/Effective-You8456
  • 18
    Even if she'd been like "this dressing is delicious; is there any more of it?" then that would have been fine. She wants more dressing; cool, no worries, thats fine. But don't be like Uhm The Salad Is Too Dry. Who raised this girl????
    via u/Effective-You8456
  • 19
    If the chicken that your bf's sibling cooked is dry, you shut up about it. If the mash is too buttery for your taste, you shut up about it. You find something in the meal that you DO like, and you compliment that. You say thank you for the effort and expense that was used to make the meal, regardless of whether you loved it
    via u/Effective-You8456
  • 20
    or not, because regardless of what you thought of the meal, someone went to the effort of cooking it for you, so show some basic appreciation. Heavens sakes. OP, don't cook for this woman again unless she heartily apologises.
    via u/Effective-You8456
  • 21
    • Significant-Bobcat48 14h ago NTA who tf says that when their partner's family member makes food for them. Her humor is drier than the chicken could've been, and not in a good way. She sounds awful to be around lol
    via u/Significant-Bobcat48
  • 22
    Pelagic_One . 14h ago Why does your brother think you're being ride to her? Did you tell her to shut up or something? If you waited until she left before you said she wasn't welcome, that wasn't being r ide to her, it's just saying she isn't welcome if she doesn't like the food. And if your brother is saying she's just being honest, is he saying he agrees? Did he egg her on to say those things because he feels he can't? I'd be pretty annoyed about this too.
    via u/Pelagic_One
  • 23
    Alan-Sim 6h ago • NTA. Critiquing your cooking at a family dinner was r de and unnecessary. You're entitled to set boundaries in your own home, especially after her behavior made you uncomfortable. Banning her might feel strong, but it's understandable. Respect goes both ways.
    via u/Alan-Sim
  • 24
    Orisha_Oshun . 14h ago Yer nicer than me, I would have gotten up, taken her plate away, and "kindly" asked her to GTF outta my house...
    via u/Orisha_Oshun
  • 25
    AllexiaGlow 13h ago • NTA. That's your home, your food, and a whole day of work she disrespected. If she can't be polite at the table, she doesn't need an invite.
    via u/AllexiaGlow
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    Comfortable-Focus123 . 14h ago NTA-I think she was r de on purpose putting you down to - make herself look better. Your brother is in for a real awakening with this person.
    via u/Comfortable-Focus123
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    TheLastWord63 14h ago . NTA. If your brother said that she was just being honest, that means he believes the same thing about your food. Just ask him how come he didn't let you know that your food wasn't up to his standard before.
    via u/TheLastWord63
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    • Immortal-Pumpkin 13h ago Mash potato's with less butter what a vile women
    via u/Immortal-Pumpkin

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