16-year-old girl breaks her dad's ex girlfriend's beloved vase out of revenge for dating her dad, goes to her for advice after her dad starts dating a meaner woman: 'Tia calls her names, Jane calls her names back'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 18, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Teenagers behave in ways that are incomprehensible to anyone but them. When I was a teenager, every move I made was calculated to get other people to like me and avoid getting in trouble. It's so easy to tell a teenage girl, "Nobody remembers anything after high school" or "It doesn't matter what anybody thinks of you," but those ideas are borderline impossible to fully accept and live by when you're in the full bloom of puberty. You can cognitively understand that "It Gets Better," but if you have no tools for what to do in the years before it inevitably gets better by merely becoming an adult, you're forced to go off your flawed, improvised guidebook that's bound to illicit results with varying levels of success. 

If you're an adult dealing with erratic teenage behavior, it's easy to ask, "What are they thinking?" I have a pet theory for the teen in this story. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10456295168
    via Frank Flores (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The 16-year-old girl in this story seems to not like the fact that her dad is dating anybody. It doesn't matter if his girlfriends are kind and accommodating or mean and nasty, she has the same reaction to both of them. Once the nice girlfriend gets fed up with her baloney, she appears to realize how good she had it. 

  • 02

    AITAH for telling my ex boyfriend's daughter, "It's not my problem."?

    I (38f) dated John (40m) for about 6 months (we had known each other for a year before we started dating). We broke up 3 months ago.
    via u/RestlessStardust
  • 03
    The reason for the breakup was because of his daughter, Tia (16f). From the very beginning she was hostile towards me. R de comments. Putting me, my cooking, etc down. Constantly referring to me as "that b She said I was the reason her parents broke up. (False. They broke up 10 years ago, 9 years before I met John).
    via u/RestlessStardust
  • 04
    I have a stepmom who went out of her way to try and push her way into my life. So I actively did everything I could to be the exact opposite. I tried to give her space. I tried talking to her, asking her what I could do to at least make things between us civil. Her answer: I could voluntarily leave this world.
    via u/RestlessStardust
  • 05
    John was no help. He'd threaten to ground her, take her things away, but they were empty threats and Tia would just continue her tirade against me. Her mother, Chloe, (who honestly is awesome) even tried to talk to her and figure out what her problem was. Tia couldn't come up with 1 reason why she didn't like me, she "just didn't."
    via u/RestlessStardust
  • 06
    It all came to a head one night while they were at my house. We had ordered food and I went to go pick it up. When I got back I found John in my dining room, sweeping up the remains of my grandmother's antique pitcher. My grandmother meant the world to me so seeing the pitcher destroyed broke my heart.
    via u/RestlessStardust
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10456296448
    via Steven Thompson

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08
    I demanded to know what happened and Tia gave me a smirk and said, "Oops. It was an accident." I asked her how it was "an accident" and she just shrugged and said something like, "I think I bumped the table and it just fell off." There's no way that can happen. My dining table is heavy. You would have to slam yourself into it to even shake that pitcher.
    via u/RestlessStardust
  • 09
    I told them to leave and spent the rest of the night crying. The next day I called John and told him I couldn't do this anymore. He tried to talk me out of it, but my mind was made up.
    via u/RestlessStardust
  • 10
    Fast forward to 2 days ago. I leave work and there's Tia. She started going on about John's new girlfriend, Jane. How Jane is a monster. Evidentially Tia tried her old tricks on Jane, but Jane gives it right back to her. Tia calls her names, Jane calls her names back. Tia insults Jane, Jane insults her back. The worst was that Tia "accidentally" broke something of Jane's and in retaliation Jane took Tia's phone and smashed it.
    via u/RestlessStardust
  • 11
    I asked her if she had told her mom. She had and Chloe decided that Tia wasn't to go over to John's anymore. I told her something like, "It sounds like everything's settled then." Tia started crying, asking if that was it? I just looked at her and said, "Yep. Your mom handled it. It's not my problem." And I left.
    via u/RestlessStardust
  • 12
    I was talking to my sister about this last night and she called me an AH. She said that obviously Tia is hurting and needed me. She came to me for a reason and the least I could have done was be a shoulder for her to cry on. I just don't feel anything. I think I'm just numb to Tia now. So AITAH?
    via u/RestlessStardust
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10456295680
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    Held Accountable723 NTA. Tia's been awful to you for months, and you don't owe her anything. She's not your responsibility, especially after everything she's put you through. You tried to be kind, and she repeatedly disrespected you. Why should you keep tolerating her crop?
    via u/Held_Accountable723
  • 15
    ZaraLovesx you can say that again!!!! Tia tormented you, disrespected you, and literally destroyed something irreplaceable of yours. Her coming to you now isn't a genuine cry for help- it's just more drama she created with someone else. You owe her nothing, and it's perfectly fine to protect your peace after all she put you through.
    via u/ZaraLovesx
  • 16
    cicada_noises What is Tia expecting OP to do about anything anyway? She's not connected to Tia's family and her ex boyfriend is in a new relationship. Tia want from OP? lol insane did
    via u/cicada_noises
  • 17
    ShaHocks I fail to see why on Earth your own sister would call you an AH in this situation. The girl got what she wanted - you out of her dad's life. If his new gf is giving as good as she gets - probably not the best way for a grown adult to behave but this girl sounds awful - and her mother knows, then what are you expected to do? Tia is having her first taste of the old "play stupid games; win stupid prizes" lesson.
    via u/ShaHocks
  • 18
    RestlessStardust OP My sister, goddess love her, is very tender hearted. She is especially sympathetic towards children. I tried to tell her that, as much as I feel for Tia's situation, I just don't feel anything for the girl. I've exhausted any sympathy I might feel for her.
    via u/RestlessStardust
  • 19
    YouKnowYourCrazy I think this is a good lesson for Tia to learn. You can't treat people like crp and expect them to be there for you when you need them. It may be lost on her, but it's an important life lesson nonetheless
    via u/YouKnowYourCrazy
  • 20
    mtc3000 The girl has a home AND an actual mother. She'll be fine, and maybe learned something.
    via u/mtc3000
  • 21
    Plastic-Count7642 Even if you had all the sympathy, what is she expecting you to do? Accost the new GF? How would that go down? NTA, not your circus, not your monkeys
    via u/Plastic-Count7642
  • 22
    ExpertChart7871 I actually don't think Tia wants you back in her dad's life. She's still trying to stir sh*t and create drama. Once she's rid of the new gf - she'll go back to her old tricks with you.
    via u/ExpertChart7871
  • 23
    maybeCheri 100% this. I reread the post to see if I missed the part where Tia apologized to OP for breaking the pitcher And acting like a spoiled brat but that wasn't there. Tia is just playing more games. She's got to the point in her story where Tia FAFO!!!
    via u/maybeCheri
  • 24
    Bice_thePrecious I don't even think Tia wants OP back as a punching bag. I think she realized OP was one of the only people who tried to care for her so she thought she'd be easy to target and get sympathy from. She'd rope OP into somehow breaking up Dad and Jane, then she'd want OP gone again.
    via u/Bice_thePrecious
  • 25
    Ok Stable7501 Tia is 16, not 6. Actions have consequences. I've seen this happen. A friend refused to marry her longtime boyfriend because his daughter was horrible to her. She eventually dumped him and left the state. The kid was shocked. Even more when the dad followed my friend, who wouldn't take him back. After years of being bu ied by his kid, she didn't want to see him again. Good for you for getting out. NTA
    via u/Ok_Stable7501
  • 26
    Icy_229 I can't blame your friend. The kid isn't the only problem in those situations. The parent is also a problem for not correcting the behavior. I wouldn't want to see someone who allowed their child to buy or ab e me either. It's both funny and sad that he really believed the kid was the only problem and that she would take him back. No, thanks. I'll be with someone who respects me and has my back.
    via u/Icy_229
  • 27
    Maddest Missy NTA and I like Jane btw. Tia needed consequences for her behaviour and Jane seems the only one being willed to give her these. Not saying you were wrong with your approach morally wise but Janes's seems to be the one working.
    via u/MaddestMissy
  • 28
    More_Flight5090 I bet John is secretly happy his brat isn't allowed over any more. NTA
    via u/More_Flight5090
  • 29
    Grendels-Girlfriend INFO: why is your ex introducing women he is dating to her so early on in the relationship if she is this hostile?
    via u/Grendels-Girlfriend
  • 30
    RestlessStardust OP Your guess is as good as mine. We knew each other for a year before we started dating. That's the only reason why I was okay with him introducing me to Tia so soon into our relationship. Now he's with Jane, who I guess he started seeing about a month ago? Now that I've had time to go back and reflect I've realized there were other problems with the relationship besides Tia. She just seemed to eclipse the other issues.
    via u/RestlessStardust

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parents of teens boyfriend teens vase teenager kids ex girlfriend teenagers ex boyfriend parenting girlfriend exes dad breakup mom parents breakups
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