'I'd have never asked her out if I knew back then': Man's wife reveals big secret about her past, man reconsiders entire relationship because of it

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Jan 22, 2025 8:00 PM EST

We all have skeletons in our closets, things we'd like to keep to ourselves under all circumstances. Some of these things would be hurtful to the people around us if they came to light, and so we feel it best if we kept them under wraps. Then again, are we honest with ourselves if we keep things from the people we love? This is an age-old question, especially in romantic relationships. A lot of the time, it's best not to dwell on dating history with new partners. Unless a past relationship continues to affect your future relationships, there's no need to kick up the dirt on your past when it's important to be present. Then again, there are some things about your past that are important to share with your partner. Either way, it's at the discretion of the two people in the relationship to decide what's best to share.

One man came to Reddit seeking advice about this exact dilemma he and his wife were facing. Something from her past that she kept hidden was suddenly revealed, and the truth hurt her husband. Now, the question is, should the past matter, especially if it's a darker past, even if it doesn't affect your relationship in the present?


 

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  • 01
    WEET TALK FOR SAY LOVE TRUE ME YOU LOVE FIRST KISS HUS ME Addind XOXO Shar's ALL
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  • 02

    "AITAH for telling my wife I'd have never asked her out if I knew she was a sugar baby?"

    I've been with my wife for 5 years, married a little over one year.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 03
    I was some cleaning and something I never noticed before was my wife's old jewelry. I know she had it, but I never noticed just how expensive looking it was. I asked my wife out of curiosity, where did she get these and how much they were. She told me they were from an ex and rhey cost an ASSLOAD. She told me before she only had one ex, back in high school and a bit of college.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 04
    I asked her how the h I did a high school kid afford these. She looked confused, and I reminded her that she told me about her one ex.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 05
    There was an awkward silence and I told her what was up with her, did she have another ex? And if so why did she tell me she only had one.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 06
    She tried to play it off, but i pressed her for it, and she confessed she had several sugar daddies for about three years.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 07
    I was mad but kept calm. I asked why she never told me she was a prostitute. She tried to give me a spiel about how it's more like a relationship, but with gifts and sh, and I told her to cut the cr p.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 08
    She told me she was afraid I was gonna judge her. I told her I was seriously mad, and she shouldn't have kept this from me.
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  • 09
    She says "does it matter?" And I told her of it matters, she asked me why, and I told her I'd have never asked her out in the first place if I knew. And that she straight up lied to me when she told me she only had one ex. She told me she did only have the one "ex" and that just ped me off more and told her "Didn't you just say the sugar cr p was more like a relationship?"
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 10
    She did cry, and said sorry, and she'd do anything to make it up to me. I told her I need some space.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 11
    Idk, I'm ped. I do love my wife, but I feel.. robbed of my decision. I do mean what I said, I'd have never asked her out if I knew back then.
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  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10456936960
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  • 13
    NTA She did as she did because....she felt how she did. YOU? You're not allowed to also be honest about how you feel?
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  • 14
    NTA. But dude, if you're married 5 years now...get over it...and move forward. You love her or you don't. It's not complicated.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 15
    These "guys" she was with, probably treated her well and is it that different than her having a bunch of bf's/body count before you came along? Did she do anything she really regrets? Maybe she only married you because you are everything she wants in a man. Dwell on that.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 16
    A high schooler having sugar daddies most likely means she was exploited and groomed by grown men. NTA for how you reacted, given it was an emotional response in-the-moment, but your girlfriend was a teen girl, selling her body. Her parents failed her, the teachers failed her, and the grown men who bought her silence with jewelry and nice things also failed her.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 17
    NTA. What's a relationship, worse, a marriage, without trust? Vulnerability is important in all relationships. and keeping secrets is so disrespectful, specially when you've been together long enough.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 18
    NTAH. Definitely don't discard or disregard her right now. You're upset, and you have every right to be. She hid a part of herself and it's because you both knew you wouldn't have ended up together if she'd been honest.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 19

    Answer me these questions three...

    The important things to think about right now, which you seem to be doing at your own pace (again, perfectly fine) are: 1. Do you still love her? 2. Is her past so important as to change your plans for the future? 3. Is her past an insurmountable dealbreaker?
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 20
    Don't decide the answers to these questions right now. Take your time to calm down and come at them from a less overly-emotional thought process and one that is more logical. If you can't do that or can't come to a clear decision, then try counseling. Couples or individual. Think of the good memories you have with her, and the bad. Weigh all you know about her and yourself equally.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 21
    Only you can decide if you can stay with her, and you have that right. Just don't let the shock of this new information decide it for you.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 22
    I mean.... Is she still doing it? Does she lie about other things? I can see this raising some concern. BUT if the answer to both of those is no, then I would probably let this go. Maybe she was in trouble financially, young and stupid, etc. we all do dumb things at some point.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 23
    Yes she did technically lie to you about this out of fear of being judged but she is kind of being judged now. Unless it is still somehow causing problems, just ask her to be honest with you fully going forward. Especially now that you know what is hopefully the worst part of her past and move on.
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 24

    Now this is some sound advice

    NTA for what you said but be careful how you move forward from here. If you plan to stay married she needs to know it's ok to tell you difficult things. Don't make her feel like she needs to hide anything else. And hey the jewelry and take a vacation together
    via throwawayDig8045
  • 25

    Yeesh. We can't have it all can we.

    Another Al bot sugar- daddy/former post. YTA for not coming up with new material.
    via throwawayDig8045

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aita marriage wife relationship-drama reddit story secrets relationships husband sugar daddy Reddit
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