Woman humiliated at work when coworker’s 15-year-old daughter tells her to stop hitting on her father, she accuses coworker of being a bad father: “Teach your daughter some tact”

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my coworker he should teach his daughter tact?

    "Take a hint, you should understand at your age"
  • 02
    I (32F) work in an office with my coworker Ken (40M) who has a daughter Esme (15F). Ken and I are friendly, we've worked together for a few years now and over the last year maybe I have been trying to open the door with something romantic. I was being very obvious, but it never went anywhere, and I thought that it was because he was clueless.
  • 03
    A few weeks ago Esme came with Ken's dad to bring lunch to Ken. It was sweet, she was polite to everyone in the office, including me. They visited for about half an hour before I went to take my lunch. I always come in and ask Ken if he wants to join me for lunch, and I knew his visitors were leaving soon, so I did the same as always.
  • 04
    He said no, which is no big deal, sometimes he says no sometimes he says yes. I asked if he was sure and he said he was, and I asked "are you sure you're sure" sort of teasingly.
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    His daughter speaks up and said "he said he's sure" and things got a little awkward, no one said anything but Ken and his dad looked shocked. I said I was just asking and she told me to "take a hint" and then Ken finally told her to stop. She said, quote, "it's not my fault she doesn't understand at her big age".
  • 07
    I ended up crying, we didn't talk for a while and I steered clear. Last week I finally talked to him about it. He apologized and we talked a little more openly about stuff. Ken hadn't dated since his divorce 11 years ago, and he didn't plan to. He said he had been "happily uninvolved" (after some
  • 08
    clarification, he meant 100% completely celibate! Didn't think people did that nowadays!) since then and he didn't want that to change any time soon, if ever. He told me he knows I'm interested but he didn't return the feelings. We were okay, it was an adult conversation and all went well.
  • 09
    This is where things turned sour. I told him I understood, I apologized for pushing, and I ask him why his daughter treated me the way she did. He apologized but he said she was protective of his choices, she knew that he was not interested in anyone, and he had expressed his discomfort around my flirting to his
  • 10
    family. I told him that still wasn't validation for how she spoke to me, and that he needed to teach her tact as ultimately I am someone being rejected by the person I had feelings for. She should have been polite and treated me with empathy. It was like his mood changed on the spot.
  • 11
    He starts talking about how he prides himself on being a single father and raising a strong, intelligent daughter. I apologized. immediately for offending him and said I just felt that she was brash. He ended the conversation and we hadn't spoken since.
  • 12
    I've noticed some people giving me the cold shoulder, finally I asked a friend what was up, and she told me that some people thought it was wrong of me to have said that to Ken.
  • 13
    I left it alone and figured it would blow over but I've had this nagging stomach ache since then. I think part of me is looking for reassurance, or maybe just laying it out in front of me to clear my head. I think I just need an outsiders perspective.
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    calacmack 14h ago Your description of your actions was actually uncomfortable to read. He has clearly indicated that he was not interested in a romantic relationship with you yet you were pushy about going to lunch during a time
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    he was focusing on a family visit. Your comments about his daughter were icing on the cake relative to being r_.de and dismissive. YTA.
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    ThrowRA_Last_Em... 14h ago Yes YTA. Criticising someone's teenage child was petty and offensive. She didn't say anything wrong considering she already knew your advances make her dad uncomfortable and she just said exactly what she saw. You
  • 18
    did need to get the hint already. And honestly, you should have picked up by now or at least left the ball in his court. If you're always asking someone to hang out, even if you break them down enough to give in now and then, if they don't ask you in close to equal amounts, leave them alone.
  • 19
    RevolutionaryDiet... 14h ago YTA You interrupted him while he had company. It wasn't cute when you asked a second time. His daughter does not have to treat you politely or with empathy when you are invading their private space. Don't be r de and
  • 20
    people won't have to respond in kind.
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    KateNotEdwina • 14h ago I'm on the daughter's side here. "Are you're sure, you're sure?" Geez. You're 32! You have a nagging stomachache because you behaved appallingly. Your picking on a teenager merely shows that you have to grow up!
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    Full_Pace7666 • 14h ago ΥΤΑ I'm gonna be real with you fault this happened. Had you taken OP, it's your own hint far sooner you the wouldn't have been called out. Ken's reasons for
  • 23
    choosing to not date you or that he's celibate is absolutely none of your business and it should never have come to that for you to understand he wasn't interested. Esme's response was the wake up call you needed, I don't think you would have stopped otherwise.
  • 24
    And then when you hear everything, you criticised his child and his parenting. Disgusting. It's like you're wearing a sign on your back saying "TAKE ME TO HR!" in captial bold letters. Leave this man the f.... alone before it affects your professional career.

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