Woman's boyfriend throws toddler-like tantrum when she imposes budget on groceries, abandons him at the store after seeing red flags: "Why don't you write me a little shopping allowance?"

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    AITA leaving my boyfriend at grocery store?

    "Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were my financial manager." "I
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    So, my boyfriend (28M) and I (23F) went grocery shopping together last night. I hate grocery shopping with him because he always treats it like a
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    game-grabbing random cr p we don't need and making jokes about the "boring" things I put on the list, like it's some kind of personal attack. I wasn't in the mood for his nonsense, but I figured I'd try to stay chill. Spoiler: it didn't work.
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    We're halfway through the store, and he's already tossed in a bunch of overpriced snacks, fancy meats, and a random kitchen gadget we absolutely do not need. I reminded him, nicely, that we're sticking to the budget this month because I just
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    paid a huge bill, and he completely flipped. He started making these snide comments like, "Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were my financial manager" and "Maybe I should just Venmo you for every chip I eat."
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    I told him to stop, but he just kept going, louder, like he wanted people to hear. "Why don't you write me a little shopping allowance, huh? Would that make you feel better?" People were definitely staring at this point, and I was mortified. I told him I was serious, we needed to stick to the essentials, and he rolled his eyes and said, "You're so uptight, no wonder people think you're controlling."
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    That was it for me. I told him I wasn't doing this and started walking toward the car. He followed me halfway, still yelling, "Are you seriously leaving? Wow, real mature!" but then turned back to the store, probably to pout or buy more unnecessary crop.
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    I sat in the car for like 10 minutes, texting him to stop being dramatic and let's just finish the shopping and go home. He didn't reply, so I left. He had his phone, his wallet, and plenty of options for
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    getting home. When he got back later, he was р ed. He said I humiliated him by "abandoning" him, that I overreacted, and that I'm always trying to control him.
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    But honestly? I don't think I overreacted at all. He acted like a complete child, picked a public fight over nothing, and made me feel like crop for trying to keep us on track financially. Now he's sulking and making me feel guilty, but I don't think I did anything wrong. AITA?
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    ForwardPlenty NTA. You are living with a man child. He threw a tantrum in the store over not getting some chips and a toy. I am surprised he didn't lay on the floor and hold his breath, he did everything else in the toddler playbook.
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    You don't negotiate with toddlers and t rr rists, so you were absolutely right to leave him at the store. He is continuing to act like a toddler. I don't see this relationship lasting at this rate. You are trying to get control of the budget and he wants to make you feel guilty and sulk. That is a huge immature red flag right there.
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    Mammoth_Ad_3463 Ugh this sounds like my ex - and when we split he told people I stole his money when I was the one paying for all the "boring" stuff (like utilities, rent, gas, car insurance, etc) so he could go out with his friends. Ditch the loser now, it's not going to get better and it will get worse. I am sorry.
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    alycewandering7 Not to mention that he accuses her of humiliating him, but that is exactly what he was doing to her in the store. He enjoyed humiliating her and being the victim and got mad when she took away his fun. You're right, he is an absolute man child and threw a tantrum like a toddler. I would seriously reconsider this relationship. I can't imagine this was a one time thing. I am sure there are other ways in which he acts like a child. Normal, mature people do not act this way.
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    Z00111111 He's 28. If he's not an adult now he likely never will be. Imagine if she marries this guy and has to remind him every morning to stop playing his Switch and go to work so they can pay the mortgage.
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    NTA Open Ferret9870 "You're so uptight, no wonder people think you're controlling." This statement is an insult designed to gaslight you into believing your actions are harmful to him when in reality he is being dismissive of your feelings and acting like a kid.
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    I know people already said this but is this really a relationship you want to stay in? He sounds exhausting! I mean, you do you, but do you really want every little thing to be blown out of proportion this way? Do you really want to be with someone
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    who is the type of person who is fine with starting drama like this in public? His behavior would be typical of a 15 year old who is rebelling against his mother and not a grown man talking to his girlfriend about something important, like setting a budget.
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    SmellingOfAttics NTA. in fact, i'm personally a proponent of you leaving him (and not just at the grocery store)
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    LostMyLastAccSomehow YTA for thinking you're dating an adult and not being able to recognize that he's ACTUALLY 2 kids stacked in a trenchcoat.
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    kewtbaby101 NTA. The fact that he's 5 years older than you but act like a toddler says a lot. Personally I cannot stand being with anyone financially irresponsible, it's a deal breaker for me. Let alone how he acted after you try to communicate like an adult. DUMP HIM. He can go f himself.
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    Roanaward-2022 Yep. Basically OP is starting to adult and BF wants to remain an adolescent. It's why he chose a woman 5 years younger. When OP leaves, he'll continue to choose women between 20-25, and leaving when they become "too adult" for him and finding another. Unless he can find someone who earns a decent living but also lives paycheck-to- paycheck.
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    NikkiFury I'm in childcare, the toddlers I care for behave MUCH better than him. Toddlers aren't vindictive, or try to publicly embarrass you. It's beyond sad.
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    LaLunaDomina NTA. Life is too short to parent other adults.
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    definitelytheA Life is too LONG to parent other adults!
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    Faster ThanNewts Your only mistake was not packing and leaving. He's childish, embarrassing and financially irresponsible. I see no redeeming qualities. You can do better. Let him sulk and have his little tantrums but remove yourself from this immature person. NTA

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