Man changes all the locks in his shared apartment after girlfriend repeatedly locks him out of the bedroom after every minor argument

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jan 28, 2025 6:00 PM EST

How do you deal with conflict in your relationship? When I lived in a shared studio apartment with my now-fiancé, it was pretty rough. We'd get into arguments over little things, and then when things got too heated, we would have nowhere to go to cool down. Sure, one of us could leave the house and talk a walk, but no one wants to be relegated to wintry weather or a trek on a 100 degree summer day. 

We've now upgraded to a one bedroom apartment, and it has really made all the difference. Having that one little door and the two, separate spaces gives us the opportunity to calm down separately but still in the comfort of our own home until we're ready to approach the subject again. This is a process we fall into naturally when we start to argue, but neither of us would ever think to lock each other out of the bedroom to achieve the same results — as is the case in our story today! To understand how our protagonist ended up changing the locks to his shared apartment with his girlfriend, scroll down below!

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01

    AITA for changing all the locks on my house because my girlfriend keeps locking me out of the bedroom at night

    She started locking the bedroom door at night, forcing me to sleep elsewhere. I was fed up with it and changed all the locks in the house.
    via gyro

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My girlfriend (36F) and I (29M) moved into a house that I bought last year. We argued at first about what each room should be. 3 bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths, 2 living rooms, a garage and a back patio. I wanted
    via u/Shaco11175
  • 03
    an office and she wanted an office. At first I didn't want to but I gave her the 2nd largest room for her office and the largest became our bedroom. I took a significantly smaller room for my office. She occupied the 2nd living room for herself.
    via u/Shaco11175
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10460562176
    via Vesnaandjiic

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    We slept together in the bedroom, as would any other couple for the first few months. We had arguments here and there but nothing major. After about 3 months, we had a big fight about decisions involving the house. Pest control, upgrades,
    via u/Shaco11175
  • 06
    modifications, etc. She said since it's my house, she will not be bearing any of the financial burden that would come of disposing of the pests and any issues that would come up with the modifications. I
    via u/Shaco11175
  • 07
    wasn't happy at first but in the end understood her point of view. I took on the financial responsibility. Shortly after this, I got mad and yelled at her during an argument regarding the pest control and the modifications she wants.
    via u/Shaco11175
  • 08
    It was after that point she started locking the bedroom door at night, forcing me to sleep elsewhere. I tried taking the bedroom earlier than her one night but she just sat there, keeping me from sleeping until I left the room. It took about 1 month for her to get over it and we started sleeping
    via u/Shaco11175

  • She's treating him like a pet that wet the carpet and how to sleep outside. He can be let back in when he learns to behave himself — AKA, do whatever she wants.

  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10460562688
    via Ron Lach from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    together again. This was shortlived. We went on Christmas vacation together, all expenses paid for by me. First class seats and fancy hotel. Vacation was great. Once we got back, we ran some errands together and upon returning, she refused to help.
    via u/Shaco11175
  • 11
    bring anything inside. She was distant and shut the door on my while I was bringing things inside. I confronted her about it to which she said "I needed to get into the closet, I didn't care about your needs" to which I yelled at her again. She went right back to locking the bedroom door on me.
    via u/Shaco11175
  • 12
    I went away for work for 2 weeks and once | returned, she still locks the door. I was fed up with it and changed all the locks in the house. While I was changing the locks, she started video taping me and asking what I was doing.
    via u/Shaco11175
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10460562432
    via AndreyPopov from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    I know my yelling is a direct result of the actions she's taking but Am I The Ah_le for getting fed up with getting locked out of my own house? PS: I haven't look her out of anywhere except my office. She still has access to the rest of the house.
    via u/Shaco11175
  • 15
    Edit: She pays a portion of the mortgage since some people thought she wasn't paying rent or anything. Edit 2: I confronted her about it. I told her the sleeping arrangement ends tonight. I'm currently in bed and she has chosen to sleep on the couch. And no, I didn't lock her out. Will update you as it's her birthday tomorrow.
    via u/Shaco11175
  • 16
    TLDR: Anytime my girlfriend and I get into an argument, she retaliates by punishing me by locking me out of the bedroom at night.
    via u/Shaco11175
  • 17
    corgihuntress Why are you still with her? Seriously. You two sound like unhappy roommates and not partners. You are the landlord/owner. Charge her rent or make her sign a lease. Better yet, evict her. NTA
    via u/corgihuntress

  • They sound like roommates that would give the landlord major grief!

  • 18
    Mixtazy123 This is anything but a relationship, they are incompatible totally and things will only get worse
    via u/Mixtazy123
  • 19
    rahrahsan NTA. Evict her and move on otherwise this is going to keep escalating.
    via u/rahrahsan
  • 20
    saivda your'e right. OP. Your girlfriend's behavior is unacceptable. Locking you out of your own bedroom is controlling and disrespectful. You deserve a partner who respects you and your home.
    via u/saivda
  • 21
    No-To-Newspeak OP, is this really the life you envisioned living? Act now to change it or yours will be a life of misery and endless compromise.
    via u/No-To-Newspeak
  • 22
    MeMyselfandl1228 Run Forest Run,
    via u/MeMyselfandl1228
  • 23
    DontBeAsi9 You are the frog. The water is boiling. Please jump out before you are cooked completely. NTA.
    via u/DontBeAsi9
  • 24
    Useful_Context_2602 What are you getting out of this "relationship"? YTA to yourself staying with her based on what you've posted here
    via u/Useful_Context_2602
  • 25
    Clean Factor9673 NTA except to yourself. She should be paying rent; don't call it a portion of the mortgage because that implies equity. Evict her. She has no right to lock you out of any part of your house.
    via u/Clean_Factor9673
  • 26
    Zealousideal-Web9737 It's not her house! NTA. She is acting entitled and ungrateful.
    via u/Zealousideal-Web9737
  • 27
    therealzacchai Whoever this squatter is who keeps claiming more and more of your house, she's not your girlfriend. Evict her, and get back your house -- and your peace.
    via u/therealzacchai

Tags

boyfriend locks toxic living together adulting reddit story relationships girlfriend couples love entitled boundaries reddit thread red flag Reddit relationship drama dating apartment
Scroll Down For The Next Article