Man threatens divorce when wife books another appointment, says her ink is "an act of rebellion," she takes to the internet for female empowerment

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jan 28, 2025 5:00 PM EST

Everyone has personal preferences when it comes to what they find attractive in a partner. However, when you're really in love, those opinions tend to go right out the window. You might think you have a thing for men with beards but end up head-over-heels for a clean-shaven prince charming. Similarly, despite your infatuation with freckles, you might think they're quite ugly on a guy that didn't treat you right. It's a good thing that physical attraction is largely influenced by our personal attachment and emotions because once you find your life partner, you will inevitably change physically. From weight fluctuations, to hair loss and the new, random hairs that come with aging, the real ones will love each other through it all.

In our story today, a woman takes to the internet when her husband begins acting more like her strict father than a life partner. He chastises her for wanting to get another tattoo, claiming that he sees it as "an act of rebellion" against him. Scroll down for the full story and to find out what netizens had to say about the situation. 

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  • 01

    Am I wrong for getting tattooed against my husband's wishes?

    "He also said I am quickly reaching the limit where he will no longer find me attractive."
    via Breno Cardoso from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (53 F) and my husband (51 M) have been married for 25+ years. I started getting tattoos three years ago and I currently have 7. My husband has complained each time I've gotten a tattoo. He says they are a waste of money and he doesn't like tattoos. He has also said that I have too many of them, and I need to stop.
    via u/Educational_Monk_296
  • 03
    Yesterday, I told him I made an appointment for another tattoo. He told me I need to consider that he married me when I had zero tattoos and I am changing myself drastically. He also said I am quickly reaching the limit where he will no longer find me attractive.
    via u/Educational_Monk_296
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10460561408
    via Stevica Mrdja / EyeEm

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    To be clear, I work and the money I spend for tattoos isn't coming out of joint funds or money needed to pay bills. His argument is strictly about how he feels about my body and how I am choosing to decorate it.
    via u/Educational_Monk_296
  • 06
    One of my arguments is that I have the freedom of self expression. During the course of our marriage, the tattoos aren't the only thing about me that has changed. I've also had 2 kids. I've gained and lost and regained 100 pounds. I've had multiple haircuts. He also gets upset when I cut my hair short.
    via u/Educational_Monk_296
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10460561664
    via Kaboompics.com from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • So, it's not just the tattoos. He gets pretty touchy about any changes she makes to her appearance. 

  • 08
    I see his behavior as controlling. He sees my behavior as making drastic permanent changes without taking him into consideration. He thinks my tattoos are an act of rebellion against him and that I'm doing this to get back at him because I think he's controlling. (I've accused him of being controlling for other things in the past.)
    via u/Educational_Monk_296
  • 09
    So, am I wrong for suddenly taking an interest in getting tattoos without asking my spouse how he feels about it? How do other people in long term relationships handle one partner making a drastic or permanent change to their appearance - do they have a discussion first, or just do what they want?
    via u/Educational_Monk_296
  • 10
    Lurki_Turki You're free to get tattoos and he's free to dislike it/ leave. It's not that deep.
    via u/Lurki_Turki
  • 11
    DreadPirateWade OP it really is this simple. You're free to get them or not, and he's free to dislike them and sh up about it or leave. When someone tells me they don't like my tattoos I tell them that it's a good thing they're mine then and walk away.
    via u/DreadPirateWade
  • 12
    OK_BUT_WASH_IT_FIRST Bingo. She's free to do whatever she wants, he's free to dislike it. One them needs to decide if it's worth blowing up the marriage.
    via u/OK_BUT_WASH_IT_FIRST
  • 13
    New_Evening_2845 Another way to look at it is: is this tattoo worth divorce?
    via u/New_Evening_2845
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10460561152
    via AnnieSpratt from Pixabay

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    WetMonkeyTalk Yep. Her bodily autonomy is ABSOLUTELY worth a divorce.
    via u/WetMonkeyTalk
  • 16
    Elismom1313 Is the hair cut worth a divorce? The burger over a salad? I can't imagine telling my husband I might divorce him over some tattoos and a hair cut. It's pretty clear he values her for her body, in the way he prefers it.
    via u/Elismom1313
  • 17
    childfreechick27 Agreed! He has a right to his preferences, OP has a right to the tattoos. He can deal with it or leave.
    via u/childfreechick27
  • 18
    Bambino3221 You don't have to consult him to do something to your body. He doesn't have to find you attractive if you make changes to your body.
    via u/Bambino3221
  • 19
    skye024 you're not wrong necessarily but also this is kind of a baseline incompatibility? I have tattoos, so I wouldn't date someone who doesn't like tattoos. if i married someone who liked my current tattoos but said they probably wouldn't love it if i got a million more, id decide what was worth more: the relationship or the tattoos. for me, because i really love the person im with, id choose the relationship.
    via u/skye024
  • 20
    this is kind of complex considering you've been married for so long, but did you know he wasn't the biggest fan of tattoos? at the end of the day, you have every right to get more tattoos. he also has every right to no longer be attracted to you because he's not attracted to tattoos. I don't think that's something you can change, and there's a limit to how much someone can overlook.
    via u/skye024
  • 21
    I've been in a relationship for ten years with someone who is not controlling in any way, shape, or form, but I still discuss all "large" changes to my appearance with him because I personally like him to be attracted to me. He speaks with me before he grows a beard, gets a drastically different haircut, or a new tattoo. We're always honest with the other, but we don't stand in the other person's way. I find a
    via u/skye024
  • 22
    lot of men's tattoos to be ugly but I like his, so they're attractive to me. At the same time he once proposed an awful tattoo idea that would have been a massive turn off, so I was honest about that. He ultimately chose not to get it, but if he had, there's no way I would have been able to see him in a sexually attractive light ever again lol. I recommend maybe meeting with a marriage counselor if you want this marriage to work because it sounds like you both resent each other.
    via u/skye024

  • This is an interesting take. It really just seems that our protagonist and her husband are not on the same page and might be incompatible overall.

  • 23
    Mike Reddit74 NAH. You have the freedom to do whatever you want to your body, just as he has the means to decide what he finds attractive or unattractive.
    via u/MikeReddit74
  • 24
    Next-Drummer-9280 If you think he's controlling, why are you still with him?
    via u/Next-Drummer-9280
  • 25
    Turnover Obvious170 Yeah, this is a far more important question than the tattoo issue.
    via u/TurnoverObvious170
  • 26
    Vampire-Muse "Act of rebellion"...is he your father or your husband?
    via u/Vampire-Muse

Tags

marriage toxic Female Empowerment wife reddit story married life marriage-drama relationships tattoos husband couples divorce love breakup reddit thread red flag Reddit
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