“I don’t see the marriage lasting long”: Woman’s snide remarks about boyfriend’s brother’s engagement make the couple uncomfortable, they refuse to invite her to the wedding, boyfriend takes her side

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    AITA for not inviting my brother's girlfriend to my wedding, even though she insists?

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    Hi everyone, I'm in a tough spot and not sure if I'm in the wrong. I (30M) am getting married in three months to my fiancée (28F), and we decided to keep the ceremony pretty small, about 50 guests, mostly close family and dear friends. We don't really have the money for any more people.
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    My brother (35M) has been dating a woman, let's call her Anna (32F), for about a year. They're not married and don't live together yet, but they're clearly serious. However, Anna has been a problem since the beginning.
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    In the few instances we've interacted, she's made snide comments about my fiancée and our wedding choices. For example: She criticized the fact that we're having a child-free wedding.
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    She said our menu "sounds too basic" (we chose traditional italian food, nothing fancy). Once, in front of the whole family, she joked that "she doesn't see our marriage lasting long."
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    My fiancée feels uncomfortable around Anna, and honestly, so do I. When we sent out the invitations, we only included my brother, assuming the reason would be obvious.
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    Well, it wasn't. When Anna found out she wasn't invited, she blew up. She called me, saying it's "a matter of respect" and that, as my brother's partner, she should automatically get an invite. My brother agrees with her and even threatened not to come if we don't invite her too.
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    Now my parents have stepped in, saying it's "just one day, and we should try to keep the peace in the family." But my fiancée and I feel like inviting Anna would mean sacrificing our comfort on one of the most important days of our lives.
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    I don't want to exclude my brother, but I don't think I'm obligated to invite someone who has been disrespectful to us. So, AITA?
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    YouSayWotNow You are absolutely not obligated to invite someone, and you have multiple valid reasons: 1. You have chosen to have a small wedding, with limited guest numbers,
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    which is absolutely your prerogative 2. She has repeatedly made snide comments about your wedding choices 3. She has even gone so far as to say she doesn't see the marriage lasting long -- who would ever invite someone who felt like
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    that about their marriage to come and celebrate it with them??? 4. Keeping the family peace should be said more often to the problem person not the victim(s) of the behaviour.
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    Why aren't your parents encouraging your brother to keep the peace by accepting your choices for your own wedding? He also needs to understand that his girlfriend's own crappy behaviour is the reason she's not invited.
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    At the end of the day, I'd stand my ground. He can either attend or not, and likewise for your parents.
  • 17
    ParamedicGlum8751 NTA. OMG, Anna sounds like a total nightmare! Seriously, who says those things about someone's wedding? It's YOUR day, not hers. If she's gonna be a hater, she can stay home. Your brother needs to chill, it's not like they're
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    married or anything. Don't let her ruin your wedding vibes. Your comfort comes first!
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    Used-Advertising-... NTA. Anna sounds like a total red flag. It's YOUR wedding, not a family reunion for every random person your brother dates. She's being r de and entitled, and honestly, your brother is kinda showing his true colors siding with her
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    over you. Ditch the drama, keep your day drama-free!
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    Time-Recognition2... NTA. Like, it's YOUR wedding, not hers! She's acting so entitled. Family peace shouldn't mean you're miserable on your own wedding day.
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    Enigmaticsole Just tell him she doesn't support your marriage and as this day is literally you getting. married why would she want to come? Also, the wedding is child free. so she couldn't come anyway.
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    Ask your parents why he can't keep the peace in the family for just one day. Looks like they have revealed who the golden child is.

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