Girl crushes on guy who doesn’t like her back, guy asks her roommate out instead and she is furious: ‘I am so frustrated they put me into this situation of feeling like this’

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Feb 3, 2025 3:00 PM EST

There are unwritten rules in life that anyone with common sense and an empathy for people knows how to follow. Don't joke about someone's family in front of them, even if they do it in front of you. Don't walk three abreast on the sidewalk when you're in a busy part of town. And most importantly, do not ever, and I mean EVER, break Girl Code.

If you aren't familiar with Girl Code, let me give you a quick introduction. Girl Code is one of the most serious oaths you can swear to. It's up there with the Hippocratic Oath, wedding vows, and becoming President of the United States. Essentially, Girl Code basically means that no matter what the situation, your relationship with your girls will always come first. That means that if your friend's ex-boyfriend who broke your heart comes knocking on your door to ask you out, you're going to have to send him packing. It's best to ride by the rule that your friendship matters more than anything else. One girl faces an issue when her friend goes out with the boy she was head over heels for, which ultimately breaks her heart. Is this a grey enough area to let it slide? Or is this Girl Code 101?
 

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    via arhmi
  • 02
    1 22F was talking to and really into this guy 22M let's call him Jake and my roommate 20F let's call her Liz. Jake and I hit it off right away and I really started to like him. Before our date one day he told me he's not looking for a relationship and not to wait for him. This was about a month ago.
    via jamiewells22
  • 03

    Ahhh, young love.

    I unfortunately really like this guy but I was trying to move on. I was telling Liz about everything that's been going on, my feelings about me and Jake's situation, my feelings for him, etc. She would always tell me he's not worth it and he was terrible for what he did to me. Well fast forward to yesterday and Jake tells me he asked out Liz and she said yes, but then she started feeling bad and was like "idk if we should do this" and then Jake met up with me to talk to me about it.
    via jamiewells22
  • 04
    I am not the kind of person to say "hey you can't date that person" because we are all adults with free will. However I am so frustrated they put me into this situation of feeling like this, upset that I'm feeling all kinds of things, and mad that they have no respect for me to do this. I told Jake that I probably will stop talking to him and distance myself greatly because even looking at him makes me want to throw up because I'm so overly emotional.
    via jamiewells22
  • 05
    I have yet to talk to Liz because one I have no idea what I'm going to say and two whatever I say right now is going to be mean and hurtful and I don't want to do that.
    via jamiewells22
  • 06
    I really just want to know if I'm in the wrong for being upset about this situation and not wanting to talk to them. (Also sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, I'm dyslexic and typing very fast)
    via jamiewells22
  • 07

    The commenters had mixed feelings about this girl's situation.

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    via Joe Yates
  • 08

    Some took her side.

    NTA. You're allowed to have feelings, and honestly, your frustration is completely valid. You liked this guy, were actively trying to move. on, and confided in your roommate-only for her to turn around and go out with him? That's a betrayal, even if she technically had the "right" to date whoever she wants.
    via jamiewells22
  • 09
    Liz especially s ks here because she knew how much this hurt you. She was literally the one telling you he wasn't worth it, yet somehow he was worth it for her? That's shady. And Jake? He already told you he wasn't looking for a relationship, but now he suddenly is... with your roommate? Yeah, I'd be distancing myself from both of them too.
    via jamiewells22
  • 10
    You don't owe either of them anything. You don't have to start drama, but you also don't have to pretend like this doesn't hurt. Give yourself space, focus on moving on, and maybe start reevaluating your friendship with Liz because this is not how a good friend acts.
    via jamiewells22
  • 11

    Others were quick to give her a reality check.

    You're allowed to be upset. They are allowed to date. NAH
    via jamiewells22
  • 12
    So he's into her and she's into him but she should decline because you had "dibs" even though he's clearly not into you?
    via jamiewells22
  • 13
    It's annoying. But he wanted your friend not you. Your one-sided feelings are secondary in this situation to their mutual feelings. It'll sting but once you realize he was never going to be with you it'll get easier
    via jamiewells22
  • 14
    The comment that makes me think YTA is " they have no respect for me to do this". They clearly respect you- your roommate explicitly called out your feelings as a reason she was uncomfortable, and he talked to you. They aren't disrespecting you by dating.
    via jamiewells22
  • 15
    They're allowed to date. You shouldn't be so possessive over an infatuation that wasn't even returned. Jake doesn't have feelings for you, rejected you, and you should move on. It's completely unreasonable for you to think that they are doing something wrong, or that they're disrespecting you. You're disrespecting them by treating Jake like your possession, and frankly by acting like you're in high school.
    via jamiewells22
  • 16
    What was "terrible" about Jake being honest with you about not wanting a relationship? And seeing a man you barely know makes you want to vomit because you're, in your words, "overly emotional?" NTA, but I think Jake dodged a bullet.
    via jamiewells22
  • 17
    NTA. You're not mad they're dating you're mad they both knew how you felt and did it anyway. Liz especially s ks for acting like she was on your side while clearly entertaining the idea of Jake. You don't owe either of them your time or energy distance yourself and let them deal with their own mess.
    via jamiewells22
  • 18
    INFO. What exactly did Jake do that made him a bad person in the eyes of two women? Why is him not being interested in a relationship right now somehow wrong?
    via jamiewells22
  • 19
    When did Jake and Liz indicate they were serious/exclusive and why did you not include that detail? Dating someone is not the same as a 'relationship' for clarification.
    via jamiewells22
  • 20
    YTA. He did not ask you out. He asked her out. You don't get to make his choices for him. Disappointed? Sure. But you shouldn't be upset with them.
    via jamiewells22
  • 21
    Nah. You sont own him. You are allowed to feel like this. They are allowed to date. If this bothers you enough its time to move when lease is up.
    via jamiewells22
  • 22
    YTA. He is NOT into you. It doesn't matter why, he flat out told you. You admitted you are overly emotional which equates to high drama queen so it is no wonder he is not interested in you. Grow up and move on.
    via jamiewells22

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