Sister who had kids in her 20s calls 34-year-old pregnant sister 'selfish' for waiting to have children, she kicks her out of her baby shower: 'Pure jealousy and projection'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 6, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Everyone is allowed to make different choices in life. That's why they are called choices. There's no prescription on how to live life, and there shouldn't be. If one person decides that their passion in life is delivering pizzas and another wants to be the youngest person to graduate medical school, then more power to both of them. We have free will, and we have one life. It's on us to do exactly what we want to do with it, no matter what anyone thinks about our decisions. 

This is especially true when it comes to having children. Let's say you feel like everyone is pressuring you to have kids, but you're not ready. Who cares what they think? It's your life, and it's not a decision you can take back. You better not be pressured into it, because you might resent those people if you end up regretting it. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10463775744
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Family is not always amazing with these boundaries, though. They can make you feel like their opinions are the Bible truth, and if you go against them then you're asking for trouble. Those voices can be hard to tune out, especially when you love one another. Read on for the details of this story and see what you think about it. 

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    AITAH for kicking my sister out of my baby shower because she called me old and selfish?

    My sister (F,31) and I (F,34) married around the same time 7 years ago. She decided to have kids right away. My husband ( M,35) and I decided to buy a house first, do a little travelling and have enough savings before having kids. My sister now has 4 kids.
    via u/Additional_Kiwi5018
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    I'm currently pregnant with our baby. I have been dealing with hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) and it's been brutal. Luckily my MIL and my husband have been amazing to me and my boss. allowed me to work from home until I give birth. My mom can't help me much because she helps out my sister's 4 kids a lot.
    via u/Additional_Kiwi5018
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    Yesterday was my baby shower that my SIL threw for me, people kept asking about how I was doing and I was talking about how HG is horrible. My sister decided to interrupt me and said honestly! This is what happens when you get pregnant when you ||
    via u/Additional_Kiwi5018
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    are old! I have had 4 pregnancies and never had these issues. I guess you should have thought about this before all those trips and "we are not ready yet" bulls . Some of us made sacrifices in our 20's ". I got furious. This wasn't the first time she commented about my life so I told her to get the f out. She grabbed my nieces and left.
    via u/Additional_Kiwi5018
  • 06
    My mom said I was being hormonal and should have just ignored her. My mom thinks my sister said that because she became a mom earlier than me and never enjoyed her life or even any alone time with her husband. My husband thinks I had every right to be upset because she was saying I deserve HG. Do I owe my sister an apology for kicking her out?
    via u/Additional_Kiwi5018
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    Commenters weighed in on whether or not her decision to kick her out was justified.

    Longjumping-Set... . 2d ago Nope. NTA. Sis is clearly just jealous and can't handle it. Glad you have great in-laws to support you, while you deal with a garbage sister and a mom that can't support you.
    via u/Longjumping-Set6145
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    Imaginary-Yak-64... 2d ago NTA & HG doesn't care & has nothing to do with when you get pregnant or how many pregnancies someone has had. She was fortunate not to experience it. Each pregnancy is different. She can f off some more.
    via u/Imaginary-Yak-6487
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    Sparkyand Dolche • 2d ago You're only 34. She's an ahle.
    via u/SparkyandDolche
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    EffectiveSet4534 • 2d ago Oof. She's hateful. I love how mom blamed your reaction on hormones... so what was the sister's excuse?
    via u/EffectiveSet4534
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    ConfusedAt63 · 2d ago NTA, your sister is jealous and that is all there is to it. You chose a different path, enjoyed yourself and she prob has some regrets.
    via u/ConfusedAt63
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    Cheezburger Image 10463774976
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    No_Cockroach4248 • 2d ago Your sister is jealous. NTA, your sister was r de and you had every right to kick her out
    via u/No_Cockroach4248
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    lexiik191 2d ago . NTA. I don't think that you were being hormonal I just think you finally had enough. Kudos to you honestly! Don't let people treat you that way even if they are family.
    via u/lexiik191
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    I do think that what your mom said about your sister at the end is correct though. In short, she's jealous because you had fun while she was stuck raising her kids. Now that you're ready for that next phase of your life she had to try and find something to bring you down so that she could be, in her mind, better than you. A better mom than you.
    via u/lexiik191
  • 16
    You and your husband chose the responsible route to parenthood whereas she has probably had to struggle. and give up most her free time in her 20s. Your sister is TA for berating you over something you can't control. Her only concern should be your and your babies health. Not some competition that you aren't even participating in
    via u/lexiik191
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    MaxBax_LArch · 2d ago NTA. Being hormonal? I wouldn't tolerate that at any time. BTW, I had my first baby when I was 25. I nearly ended up hospitalized to get IV fluids I was throwing up
    via u/MaxBax_LArch
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    so much. A friend of mine (a whooping 20 days younger than me) didn't have her first until her late 30s. Her "morning sickness" wasn't nearly as bad. How pregnancy hits you is highly individual and age is only one small part of it. At 34, you're not even considered a "geriatric" first-time mom. Plenty of women start later than you did.
    via u/MaxBax_LArch
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    Fire_or_water_kai • 2d ago NTA Pure jealousy and projection. She's mad she gave up her twenties, and you now have attention. Your mom s ks too. Also, HG s ks so bad. I had that for 6 months of my pregnancy. Hope it eases up for you.
    via u/Fire_or_water_kai
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    lovesnoopy1 • 2d ago If she ever asks u to watch her kids say nah I'm too old I can't
    via u/lovesnoopy1
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    wowbragger . 2d ago NTA Your sister was r de and petty, you're completely on the moral green kicking her out. Regardless of her feelings, it was your shower and you're the one dealing with significant complications. Empathy and support are called for, not insults and petty behavior.
    via u/wowbragger
  • 22
    Your Mom would do well to remember you're all adults. We don't get to make excuses for behavior, we get consequences.
    via u/wowbragger
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    Radiant Chipmun... . 2d ago Tell me if someone is jealous without telling me. Her kids were sacrifices, oh dear. NTA and your reaction was totally normal, nothing hormonal about it.
    via u/Radiant_Chipmunk3962
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    wlfwrtr 2d ago • Sounds like she's lashing out due to jealousy over you having a stable life before having children. Is her marriage on the rocks?
    via u/wlfwrtr
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    CuskKeegan . 2d ago This would be wrong to say to you even one-on-one, but at your own baby shower?? In front of your friends and family? That is insane behavior and no one leaving. that party is talking about you kicking her out, they're talking about her being insane.
    via u/CuskKeegan
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    Odd_Range_2978 . 2d ago If you were to apologize, it could come across as if her hurtful comments were acceptable. Sometimes, people need to learn that their words and actions have consequences. Kicking her out may have been harsh, but it was a direct response
    via u/Odd_Range_2978
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    to a deeply hurtful comment. Your sister might need to reflect on her actions and recognize how inappropriate and damaging her words were. You don't owe her an apology-she owes you one.
    via u/Odd_Range_2978

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