“You’re the family failure”: Woman fed up with years of constant comparison to golden child sister refuses to attend family vacation after teasing is taken too far

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Feb 5, 2025 5:00 PM EST

I was born into a Latin American household. While I do enjoy the sweet, romantic melodies of a good bolero, know how to make my own tortillas from scratch, and can roll my r's, there are some aspects of my culture that might have people outside of it doing double-takes. For example, most members in Latino homes are lovingly nicknamed after their biggest insecurity, like la Flaca (the skinny one) or el Chaparro (the short one). I had a cousin known as el Gordito (the small, fat one), who grew up to be pretty fit, yet he still goes by the nickname to this day. 

To outsiders, this tradition could seem mean-spirited, but the truth it is just lighthearted fun that no one in Latin America takes too seriously. However, in our story today, a woman, fed up with constant "jokes" comparing her with her golden child sister, finally snaps. She puts her foot down and refuses to attend another family vacation when one comment takes it too far. Scroll down for more. 

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  • 01

    AITA refusing go on family trip after my sister called family failure'?

    "We all know you're the family. failure, but at least you're fun to have around."
    via FG Trade
  • 02
    So, I (25F) have always had a bit of a rocky relationship with my older sister (27F). She's always been the "golden child" in our family-straight A's, great job, married with kids, you get the idea.
    via u/TahliaTryst
  • 03
    Meanwhile, I took a different path. I struggled through college, jumped between jobs, and I'm currently working a retail job while trying to figure out my career. Not perfect, but I'm doing my best.
    via u/TahliaTryst

  • It really does sound like she tries her best. Parents should recognize where their kids' strengths are and meet them where they are, not compare them to others whose success came “easily.”

  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10464142336
    via Suwinai Sukanant's Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    Last week, we had a family dinner where my parents announced they wanted to take the whole family on a vacation to celebrate their anniversary. It sounded nice until my sister started joking about how she hopes I can actually afford to take time off. She then followed it up by saying, "It's okay, we all know you're the family failure, but at least you're fun to have around."
    via u/
  • 06
    Everyone laughed. I awkwardly smiled, but inside, I was done. This isn't the first time she's made comments like that, but it hit differently this time.
    via u/TahliaTryst
  • 07
    After the dinner, I told my parents I wasn't comfortable going on the trip. They tried to brush it off as my sister "just joking," but I told them I'm tired of being disrespected.
    via u/TahliaTryst
  • 08
    Now my whole family is upset with me. My sister texted me saying I'm being "dramatic" and that I'm ruining the trip for everyone. My parents said they understand I'm hurt, but I should come and "not let her get to me." I really don't want to go, but now I feel guilty for upsetting everyone. AITA for saying no to the trip?
    via u/TahliaTryst
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10464142592
    via Monkey Business Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    Dresden Mouse Don't go, tell your sister at least you are not the "family AH"
    via u/Dresden_Mouse
  • 11
    jacksonpaul777 exactly, OP's sister's comment was hurtful, and OP has every right to stand up for herself and set boundaries..
    via u/jacksonpaul777

  • These parents have created an entitled monster who thinks it is okay to be mean to her sister without consequence. No wonder our protagonist is read to dip out for good.

  • 12
    rose3beck exactly, she was way over the line with those comments. and OP did nothing wrong standing up for herself
    via u/rose3beck
  • 13
    Smooth-Bandicoot6021 She must be miserable and dissatisfied with her own life, possibly even jealous of OP for making her own choices on her own terms, whatever that looks like. She is judging you based on her own choices that haven't led her to happiness. That is a her problem, not an OP problem. She is chastising her for having a normal young person's life. I get it.
    via u/Smooth-Bandicoot6021
  • 14
    My older brother is the golden child - mansion on the hill, big executive for the biggest company in the state, endless money, tons of toys, handed a local political position, star of the family. He is miserable, but only people who know him really well can
    via u/Smooth-Bandicoot6021
  • 15
    actually see it. I really miss the happy version of my brother, so much. He has the perfect life on the outside but is pretty empty on the inside. He likes to stick barbs too - more eloquently and far more pointedly, but exactly the same nonetheless.
    via u/Smooth-Bandicoot6021
  • 16
    She doesn't think you are a failure, OP. She thinks she is the failure. She is mad she can't commiserate with you about her own awful existence she resents because you are figuring it out on your own terms instead of following the most basic outline for what most people see as 'successful,' but leaves out personal fulfillment and happiness. Those
    via u/Smooth-Bandicoot6021
  • 17
    aren't required to be seen as successful, and someone who is happy doesn't need to kick someone they view as already down. They try to help them up. They try to spread the love. Unhappy people just LOVE to point out what
    via u/Smooth-Bandicoot6021
  • 18
    they see as wrong with everyone else, never themselves. They don't HAVE problems, right? They did things the right way. They are perfect. That is what they need to tell themselves. They are victims to their own judgements.
    via u/Smooth-Bandicoot6021
  • 19
    You 'ruining everyone's vacation' by not going is hilarious to me, if you are such a failure, then why do they need you to go to some awesome destination to be able to enjoy themselves? Likely because you are the only person who can make these people feel any ounce of joy and she knows they will all
    via u/Smooth-Bandicoot6021
  • 20
    be miserable together without you - either to lighten the mood or help them feel better about themselves while they poke at you because you have the courage to be and do differently than them. Go on the vacation and ditch them the whole time. Make them deal with and suffer one another. Make them keep up their fake happiness and perform for each other's approval. Have an amazing time and
    via u/Smooth-Bandicoot6021
  • 21
    make your own memories - happy ones, that don't require people to push you down to make themselves feel taller. You represent what they don't have and likely never will again without great consequences- options. Choices. Your own means to your own ends. Curiousity and exciting new things. Broader horizons. Learning. Happiness. Enjoyment. Discovery. Fulfillment.
    via u/Smooth-Bandicoot6021
  • 22
    Don't let her or anyone get you down. Your life right now isn't forever. It's right now. Things change, and so do people -unless they have locked themselves into someone else's idea of happiness- those people typically continue their misery and continue faking a smile and performing because
    via u/Smooth-Bandicoot6021
  • 23
    nothing is more important than being seen as successful, because that ia how they are judging everyone around them. Not giving a sh about someone's approval or judgment is true freedom. Flex that freedom. Enjoy it. Don't try to fit into their tiny box. That is what is bothering them. Let them stay bothered.
    via u/Smooth-Bandicoot6021
  • 24
    Hidden_Vixen21 Anybody who doubles down after learning you got upset about a joke is not a good person. They lack empathy and think their pride is more important than your pain
    via u/Hidden_Vixen21
  • 25
    tapangamalanga Absolutely agree. Someone who doesn't acknowledge your feelings and doubles down shows a lack of respect and empathy.
    via u/tapangamalanga
  • 26
    cutexgianna NTA. Your sister crossed a line, and you don't owe it to anyone to put yourself in a situation where you're disrespected. It's totally okay to take a step back for your mental health.
    via u/cutexgianna
  • 27
    NTA RafflesiaArnoldii They ALL laughed at you. It's probably not hard to think of better uses for your time than being around people who look down on you.
    via u/RafflesiaArnoldii
  • 28
    Next-Wishbone1404 Word. If I called my brother a failure in front of my parents, I would never hear the end of it until I sincerely apologized and made it right. And we would never disrespect each other that way! Her sister wasn't raised right.
    via u/Next-Wishbone1404

Tags

failure toxic sibling rivalry Female Empowerment sisters reddit story relationships favorite love sister reddit thread red flag Reddit golden child family vacation vacation
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