Daughter refuses to let 2-year-old brother to stick around for her wedding ceremony after he presents the rings, her mother tries to guilt her into a compromise

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Feb 13, 2025 8:00 PM EST

In life, there are certain choices one must make to prioritize their wants and needs over others. No one needs to be selfless 100 percent of the time… If humans did so, we probably wouldn't have survived all of these years. One situation that allows for peak selfishness (mostly because of the large price tag) is weddings. As long as the bride or groom is not financially taking advantage of their guests, they get to call the shots. Former brides, I'm sure you agree with this sentiment. A wedding venue, florals, catering, outfits, photography, and more cost an arm and a leg in most cases… and that's only for a few hours on one day that you will (hopefully) never have again. If you don't want kids at your wedding, for example, what you say, goes!

The soon-to-be bride who posted this story does not want her two-year-old brother to stick around for her wedding after he brings the wedding rings up to the altar. She told her mother that she'd rather have her undivided attention during the celebration and suggested she hire a nanny to watch over him during the festivities. Her mother goes down guilt-trip lane and even leaves the soon-to-be-bride to second-guess herself. Not on the internet's watch, though. Scroll to read.

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  • "She said she didn't realize I wanted her undivided attention and said 'we will just do it your way because you are the bride and your feelings matter not mine.””
    via Kelly Sikkema for Unsplash

  • "AITA for not wanting my brother at my wedding ceremony"

    I (25 f) am getting married in a couple months and keep arguing with my mom about having my brother (2 m) sit through the ceremony. As you may have noticed... I have a huge age gap
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  • with my brother. It wasn't from a second marriage or anything like that, just a whoops lol. I have on multiple times talked to my mom about having my brother as a ring bearer in the wedding, but after
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  • he is done with his duties having him go to the nursery so that he is not distracting from the wedding. (The location of the ceremony has a room specifically for children where you can still see the ceremony).
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  • My other request is that we hire a non-family member to take care of him so that both my parents would be in the front row. My mother hates this idea, and says that my brother will be fine to
    via garbage-crown
  • stay in the ceremony. I really don't want him to get fussy and make one of them leave while we are getting married. She claims he will not like anyone other than family so we should have a family
    via garbage-crown
  • member on standby ready to grab him when he becomes fussy. I still don't love that he could be crying and then removed, I think it would be easier to have him in the other room already.
    via garbage-crown

  • The future bride's concerns are valid ones… Who wants a fussy human in their terrible-twos era crying while trying to exchange vows? I'm waiting…

    Even if her brother stays, the bride raises a good point: Her mother will not be all-in. Instead of watching her beautiful daughter on the altar, she'll be watching her toddler-aged son, making sure he's not getting red-eyed and blue. It's not fair to the bride because she likely put a lot of money into this and refuses to look back on such an important (and PRICEY) day with any regret. 

  • Cheezburger Image 10467001088
    via Jamie Coupaud for Unsplash

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My mom claims that it is r de for me to not want my brother at the ceremony and that I will have to tell him when he's older why I did not let him attend. She also said that I needed to do some self
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  • reflection if I don't see the big deal about him not being there. May I remind everyone that he is two years old.... I told her that I am also her daughter and would like to have her attention at my
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  • wedding ceremony, and for her not to be distracted. She said she didn't realize I wanted her undivided attention and said "we will just do it your way because you are the bride and your feelings matter not mine."
    via garbage-crown
  • At this point we hashed it out some more and she started calling herself the worst mother ever because I had started to cry. Now I am gaslighting myself and feel like maybe it isn't that big of
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  • a deal to have him in the ceremony? But then I think about her telling people that I have been a bridezilla and made her cry multiple times in the planning process. (2 times because of this situation and a couple times. because she wanted to add around 10 guests to the guest list that are family but I am not close to)
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  • AITA for not wanting him at the ceremony? Should I just let him sit in until he becomes fussy and then have a family member deal with him?
    via garbage-crown
  • Gnd_flpd NTA Oh, h I no, do not back down. You're about to get married and your focus needs to be on how to be a supportive partner rather than an obedient daughter to a guilt tripping mother. She's full of bull saying he will be fine, no he won't, no two year old is
    via Gnd_flpd
  • interested in being still and not making noise during a wedding ceremony. You're second guessing yourself here, especially with, the I'm making her cry during the planning process, did she cry because you said "no" to something she wanted? I bet she did, how many times have she made you cry OP?
    via Gnd_flpd
  • BenedictineBaby NTA tell your mum that he won't be at your wedding. Its not a debate. Its a decision. Tell her to plan accordingly.
    via BenedictineBaby
  • jacksonlove3 NTA and your mother is being manipulative, and she knows it! It's your day and it's not an unreasonable request to have your parents' undivided attention for the day! Stand your ground!
    via jacksonlove3
  • FyvLeisure NTA. You don't want a 2 year old at your wedding. The 2 year old will NOT want to be at your wedding. The kid not attending is for the best. I hated attending weddings my entire childhood.
    via FyvLeisure
  • TalkAboutTheWay "I'm the worst mom ever!" "Yeah, you're a strong contender right now for that title..." Never disagree bc that's what they want in order to manipulate you and make you feel so guilty that you'll back down.
    via TalkAboutTheWay
  • bbbmine NTA and it is hilarious your mom thinks that one day your brother is going to care that his 2 year old self was not at the ceremony.
    via bbbmine

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reddit stories feud family dynamics family drama child free drama wedding drama brother mother moms reddit story family feud wedding family reddit thread Reddit mom
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