Mom spends weekend nursing sick toddler, snaps when husband gets ill and stops her from sleeping: 'I probably got 10-12 hours of broken sleep the whole weekend'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Feb 14, 2025 6:00 PM EST

While it's not always talked about, illness can prove to be a real test of a relationship. When all of a sudden a partner goes from being an important support system to somebody who needs to be supported, the imbalance can be something that takes a lot of adjustment for everybody involved. While becoming sick isn't anybody's fault, there is often only so much that can be done for somebody who has a fleeting illness. Allowing them rest and fluids is often the best solution.

This kind of situation can become especially fraught between couples who have kids and as luck would have it, children have a habit of bringing all kinds of germs into the family home. It can be a recipe for disaster, or at the very least the kind of falling out it can feel difficult to recover from. It's the last thing that most people want when they're sick.

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    Cheezburger Image 10467427584
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This was a struggle that one mom dealt with over the weekend after she spent all her time taking care of her sick toddler. She was already sleep-deprived, but when her husband appeared to catch the same illness it took the stress of the situation to another level. She wound up snapping at him, and wondered if she had taken it too far.

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    I plan on sending this post to my husband once the verdict is in, whichever way it goes, so I'll add as much of his perspective as I can. Our toddler was sick through the weekend. I was up with him one night from 12:15-2:45, and off and on the next night. I probably got 10-12 hours of broken sleep the whole weekend.
    via Magical-Princess
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    Yesterday, my husband mentioned he was starting to feel a little sick. Last night I went to bed early hoping to catch up on rest. All throughout the night, my husband woke me up way more often than my toddler ever does, even on a bad night. Some of the times were not directly his fault, but other times I felt like he was being inconsiderate.
    via Magical-Princess
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    1: He snored loudly in my ear. 2: He asked for another blanket because he had the chills. I told him it was at the foot of the bed. He asked for help and reminded me that he helps me when I'm sick, and that he'd still do the morning routine with our son. 3: He had a nightmare I had to shake him awake from. (normal) 4: He whispered at Alexa to ask for the time. 5: He asked for another blanket. I gave him mine. 6: He made a phone call (in bed) and left a full volume voicemail to his work to let th
    via Magical-Princess
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    At this point I blew up. I expressed how mad I was that he woke me up all night long, and now I have to wake up early to do what he said he'd still do, and I don't get to stay home and catch up on sleep. He said I was in the wrong because marriage is in sickness and in health. I immediately got up to get ready. He said I didn't have to start getting ready so early, I said yes I did because I start work at 7:30. I barely make it to work on time when I wake up at 6:00, and now I have to unexpected
    via Magical-Princess
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    I said he was a grown man with a cold, and he robbed me of the rest I needed, and that I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. At that point I asked for space and we haven't talked since. I was late for work which is a big deal at my job. I might be the a_h_le for blowing up at my husband when he asked for support during an unexpected illness. Am I the a hle for being mad at my sick husband?
    via Magical-Princess
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    People had their sympathies with her situation.

    ThatHellaHighHobbit NTA- It's one thing if you slept all night and he was up all night sick and he woke you up and asked you to handle the morning routine. It's another when he's willfully kept you awake. Waking you up for extra blankets, asking the time and making a loud phone call is absolutely willful behavior from him. Your angry feelings are valid. If this is a one time thing, when he's better, circle back and have a discussion. If this is his typical "man flu/cold” behavior, he needs to st
    via ThatHllaHighHobbit
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    JorvikPumpkin NTA 100%.. How do you wake someone up to get a blanket (at the foot of the bed!?) and start making phone calls in bed when someone is sleeping? I mean that is just r de! If he doesn't know where the blankets are in the home, why? does he not live there?
    via JorvikPumpkin
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    SlinkyMalinky20 NTA. Being sick, working and caring for a sick child is terrible. But your husband is an adult and needs to be somewhat self sufficient and considerate. He can't help that he had a nightmare or snored, but waking you up for a blanket twice, asking for the time, and taking/making calls in the early hours from bed is incredibly self- centered.
    via SlinkyMalinky20
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    mazzepaz And he did not help during the weekend when toddler was sick!!!
    via mazzepaz
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    Armorer- NTA women are expected to care for family and children on our deathbeds but men are not held to the same standard. While it's understandable that your husband felt awful and needed some help he could have minimized the amount of disruptions like waking you just to ask for blankets that are already on the bed, the snoring maybe due to congestion which he can't help. You need some rest so it's best if you sleep separately until he is better.
    via Armorer-
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    fantasticfishfingers NTA As moms we are generally expected to just carry on as normal when we are sick, I don't know why dads are any exception. The making a phone call in bed while you're trying to sleep would have made me crash tf out, because who in their right mind thinks that is an acceptable location for such an activity? Bffr.
    via fantasticfishfingers
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    OkConsideration8964 He's a whole adult male asking you to get him extra blankies? No. Phone calls in bed? No. When my husband is sick, he sleeps in the spare room. I don't ask him to, he just does. He still gets "man cold" vibes, but he really does his best to not be disruptive. NTA
    via OkConsideration8964
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    clovenpine This! Dude kept waking her up with pathetic bids for attention. "Can I have another bwankie? I'm cold! Remember, I'M SICK!" "Alexa, what time is it? I can't sleep because I'M SICK!" "Hi boss, I can't come in to work because I'M SICK!" He wanted OP to stay up stroking his fevered brow all night like she did with their toddler the night before. OP is NTA.
    via clovenpine
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    JorvikPumpkin Agreed, what would he do if he was single? Of course partners should help eachother to an extent, but not at the expense of one's health (sleep deprivation can be dangerous- especially if OP has to drive to work!). Getting the blanket from the foot of the bed wouldn't make his condition worse, if he doesn't know where the blankets are then.. well.. time to learn where things are in your own home...? It's not hard to take phone calls outside of the room and to not ask Alexa for the
    via JorvikPumpkin
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    InfamousCup 7097 You're running on fumes of course you're upset. If you were sick and he had to work the next day, would he be up all night taking care of you and the kid and not be mad? Doubtful. Many adults get through a cold all by themselves. Sleep on the couch and get some sleep tonight. He can set himself up with blankets and water and whatever in the room before he lays down.
    via InfamousCup7097
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    sarahmegatron NTA If he hadn't have pulled all that BS waking you up all night ok, but he did wake you up all night so now he can struggle through the morning routine right alongside you. I'd be furious in your place, marriage IS a partnership and he's not doing his part here. In your place I would tell him no about the morning routine help, and let him decide if he's gonna do it or keep the kid home with him. And specifically because he spent the whole night being an inconsiderate a I wouldn't
    via sarahmegatron
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    Sayster_A The stuff he can't help (snoring, nightmares, etc) I would simply suggest go to the couch. I'd even let the Alexa thing slide. The rest however NTA... do you get away with all of that when you're sick? I should also point out, one sure fire way to get sick is to neglect personal needs like sleep. The "I look after you" and "marriage is in sickness and in health" sound manipulative. You're sick dude, not paralyzed. Not only that, I know when I don't get enough sleep I'm a ticking timebo
    via Sayster_A
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    Academic-Dare1354 NTA- No matter how sick I've been(especially with a cold) I didn't keep my partner up all night and then make them get up with the baby when they had to work and I didn't. Some of the reasons you got woken weren't his fault but waking you for a blanket twice, making a call in bed and verbally asking the time instead of checking a phone were all really inconsiderate and I'm inclined to believe you might not have been mad about the other things if the more inconsiderate waking ha
    via Academic-Dare1354
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    amrjs NTA he should've been helping at night during the weekend, or during the day so you could rest more. And he shouldn't have woken you up for things he could've done himself. It would be one thing if he had a 40+ degree fever, and was throwing up or had a severe cold where he was genuinely unable to help himself... but it doesn't really sound like that to me.
    via amrjs
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    bornbylightning NTA When my fiance is sick, he wants to be left tf alone and only asks for things if I'm going to the store or if he physically cannot get them due to an injury. (He had a hurt foot once he could not walk on and asked me to get him food/meds when I got home from work). The thought of a grown a man asking you to tuck him in with a blanket that's at the foot of the bed is laughable. He is so inconsiderate. When I'm awake at night and my fiance is trying to sleep before work, I am q
    via bornbylightning
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    LazyTrebbles Where was he during the previous two nights when you were up with toddler? Why weren't you splitting the work. I know a sick child, even a daddy's girl, tends to favor mom when sick, but he could have tried. My verdict. He is not being considerate and you were dealing with two toddlers.
    via LazyTrebbles
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    Sparkle2023 NTA. Granted your husband had a low grade fever and that's why he had the chills but it was thoughtless of him to keep waking you up as you were already exhausted from taking care of your sick child over the weekend. He could have gotten his bot out of bed to get himself a blanket, take some Tylenol, moved to another room to call his office, take care of the morning routine with your child and made himself some tea as he is an adult. He wanted to be babied of course.
    via Sparkle2023

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